I can speak a little bit as someone who changed denominations/traditions! I'm a Lutheran nowāpretty comfortablyābut I grew up Presbyterian.
My family and church community were never dogmatic about denominationāI was baptized Catholic, and visited Methodist and non-denominational congregations with my mom and Catholic and Episcopalian congregations with my dad throughout my childhood and youth, so there was never room for anyone to say "this is the REAL Christian denomination!" haha. But my home was always in a local Presbyterian congregation; I knew many folks there, sang in the choir, did mission trips and youth group, and was confirmed there.
We learned a little bit about Presbyterianism during my confirmation class, with the thing that stood out to me most was John Calvin's emphasis on the sovereignty of God. But, in the end, I was a Presbyterian not because of any of its unique faith claims, but because of my community there.
When I went to college, I found and became involved in a campus ministry affiliated with the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America. I didn't really know anything about Lutherans or Lutheranism, but they had weekly dnd games and meals, and the pastor was explicitly queer-affirming (I love you, Pastor B š«¶). Also, a good friend of mine from another club had grown up Lutheran, so they ended up joining me there. My friend was on a whole spiritual journey of their own, and is now in seminary to become a pastor themself! I met another current best friend of mine there, too, who's now a PhD candidate in religious studies, so between these two nerds (super affectionate) and my own interests in church history and theology, I learned a lot more.
During the pandemic, my now-seminarian friend led a small study group on different traditions, and I got to speak for the Calvinists/Reformed. And honestly... I just didn't believe it. I don't believe in the Reformed conception of God, and the more I tried to hold onto the Reformed name for myself, the more it was clear I was doing it for "old times' sake" than because I was actually a member of that group. Also I was like 21 or 22, so "old times' sake" is kind of silly.
On the other hand, while I'm still very new to Lutheranism, and was even moreso then, I didn't object to anything I had learned about in the same way. I didn't have to make excuses to myself about parts of the theology the same way. Idk, it just felt right to fall in with the Lutheran position on things than it did for the Reformed side. I hold no animosity to Presbyterianism, and sometimes I can tell I still hold to a Reformed-lite perspective on things (I really do appreciate what Calvin was trying to do with the sovereignty of God, and I also like how his theological system forces grace to the center of it, even if I think many of the consequences of that system are flawed).
This was a lot longer than I thought it was going to be, all basically just to say: when it's right, you know it. It might take a bit of time, but if it fits, it fits.
It also comes down to what you value, tooāmy sister and mom have become Episcopalian. My sister enjoys the internal diversity of the Anglican tradition; but as much as I appreciate that too, I more value living in a tradition united by a shared creed (the Augsburg Confession and the Book of Concord, and more generally that the heart of the gospel is "justification by grace through faith"). As much as I like Episcopalians, that's why I don't call myself one or look for an Episcopalian congregation over a Lutheran one when the need arises. They're kind of my backup haha
I hope that all makes sense. I wish you the best of luck, anon! I pray the Spirit leads you to the place you can come to the Father through the Son the easiest. Listenāto yourself, to the places you visit, and most of all, to the Spirit, and you'll be led home.
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