IT'S GETTIN' A LITTLE MAGICAL UP IN HERE

Warning: May contain bits of genitals, recipes, various arts and crafts, video game nonsense, and screenshots. Warning: WILL contain hella gay shit, original drawings and paintings, crude humor, and actually, some dicks. Okay, lots of dicks. cero-tia.tumblr.com for my FFXIV blog

[charliemalarkey]

If there was ever any doubt that I was a fey creature, fuck around and see how long I can hold a grudge ;)

[alivehouse]

fun fact about me is that when i was a kid id write capital E’s with as many of those little horizontal lines as possible and id call them ladder E’s and adults fucking hated them

[alivehouse]

artistic rendition

[ceekari]

All capital letters should have a leveled-up form

So far I’ve got

ladder letters: A, E, F, H, T

humpback B’s and P’s get as many bumps as you think they need

circle O’s, you just keep spiraling in til you feel like you’ve made your point

tree letters branch into smaller versions of themselves ad nauseum: X, Y

spider Q’s, so many legs

Please add your own unsettling godtier capitals!

[catgirltoes]

New alphabet dropped!

[ceekari]

oh my god, it’s beautiful

(future handwritten notes are gonna be so wonderfully cursed now, thank you! :D )

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

well it’s going to take some getting used to, @ceekari (don’t mind the redacted letter between T and U)

But I think i’ve taken a real shine to it! 

[modmad]

recursive

[arkaine-spell]

So i may have done a thing in an insomnia fueled jaunt into insanity.

find an .otf of the font here

[idlnmclean]

This is how new alphabets get invented.

[homebrewfromthevoid]

ELVEN HALF-RACES

Homebrew for all of the elven half-races possible with races from the PHB! Time to throw the boring old human half-elf out of the window! This was made for 5e. Open images in new tab for better quality. Have fun playing, and feedback is much appreciated!

If you like what I do, consider buying me a coffee! Also consider checking out my previous half-races (including tiefling and dragonborn versions!).

[dm-clockwork-dragon]

Fear not, the Afflicted Vampire (2.0)

(and some Blood Magic Feats)

So A while back, I took a stab at my own take on vampires. In my personal campaign setting, vampirism is more a blood disease than a curse, and I wanted something that really highlighted that, focusing on the relative frailty of a creature who must feed on blood and flee the sunlight to live, rather than on the magical or physical power of an immortal undead. The good news, is that I accomplished that. The bad news was that I did so a little too well. My original take on the Afflicted Vampire had more downsides that upsides, and all things said and done, was less powerful than a standard human. So I wanted to find a way to balance that out, without just making my vampires bog-standard immortal creatures of the night. After some talk with players, and more thought into the exact origin of vampires in Aetheros, I decided that the best way to do this would be to give vampires a natural affinity for blood magic. So this updated version of My vampire race includes two Blood Feats, which vampire characters can choose from. One highlighting the ferocity and violent impulses the afflicted fight to control, and the other focusing on the dark magic that runs through their tainted blood. These feats are not limited to Vampires, but vampires do gain access to one for free, regardless of prerequisites As usual, the preview here is low resolution, and probably out of date. For the latest high-resolution PDF, as well as a whole host of other work I have done, check out this handy dropbox link. And be sure to tell me what you think! If you like what I do and want to support me or just generally help out, Check out my Patreon or Ko-Fi pages, or throw some coin at me through Paypal.me. If you wanna just come say hi on my Discord, that’s great too!  

[dm-clockwork-dragon]

Alright folks, I know i’ve been rather absent since the whole Tumblr Apocalypse thing, but here’s some Proof that I haven’t just been sitting on My Ass:

Announcing The Oracle!

A couple Months back, while I was working on the Mutophage, I had the idea stroke me of trying to play DND using a Deck of Tarot Cards in place of dice. Seemed like a silly idea, but as it happens sometimes, it stuck. I had seen a few classes out there that tried to make use of a deck of tarot cards in same way. but in most cases it was something along the lines of “I play this card to cast this spell” and felt more like a TGC than like reading tarot. I wanted to make something more integral. The Oracle is My take on support-centric class. By reading and manipulating fate, they are able to change the tide of battle, granting boons to their allies, and casting certain doom on their foes. This class is built from the ground up with the intent of feeling like an actual tarot reading when played. Having read tarot for almost 15 years, I worked to make sure that everything flows naturally in the same way as an actual reading, and in a way that won’t upset your deck. In fact, I designed the class to work as a great exercise in getting to know a new deck, or just learning the essentials tarot in the first place. If you love DND, and you enjoy Reading Tarot, you should definitely give it a read.

The Previews here are missing several pages of the greater arcana, for the full PDF check out the full class using this handy dropbox link. If you like what I do and want to support me, Check out my Patreon or Ko-Fi pages, or just come say hi on my Discord!

[decadent-hag]

Yeah

[theglowpt2-deactivated20200101]

every word out of guillermo del toro’s mouth is the most hardcore thing i’ve ever heard and he says it all so casually like he doesn’t even realize how much of a gothic visionary he is 

[theglowpt2-deactivated20200101]

“Since childhood, I’ve been faithful to monsters. I have been saved and absolved by them, because monsters, I believe, are patron saints of our blissful imperfection, and they allow and embody the possibility of failing”

I STILL THINK ABOUT THIS EVERY DAY OF MY LIFE

[phantomrose96]

Day 286 of quarantine I have discovered www.webstaurantstore.com

It is, I BELIEVE, a website intended to be used by restaurants for bulk ordering food and utensils. And this is bringing me such unbounded delight scrolling through and recognizing that I, a single individual, ALSO can order ridiculous obscene enormous offensive-to-all-common-sensibilities shipments of BULK FOOD, to my LITTLE LITTLE APARTMENT, for PENNIES on the dollar. I have this god given power to flood my entire living space with bulk grains and it is one single button click away from my reality.

30 POUNDS of chocolate for $100. 20 POUNDS of peas for $13?? $13!!!! I will wake up every single morning from now on knowing that a box of donuts and a sack of dried split peas heavy enough to bodily injure someone both carry equal monetary weight. 25 POUNDS OF ONION POWDER for $50. Do you understand the enormity? the accessibility? the potential here? With the single click of the button I can put myself in a position of bequeathing more than a humanly comprehensible amount of onion powder in my will. AND IT WOULD ONLY COST ME $50 TO MAKE THIS A REALITY.

But what gets me

What truly gets me

is the 50 POUND BAG OF RICE 

FOR LESS THAN $20

Do you know how much that kills me? How much I’m losing my mind? that I can order MYSELF WORTH OF RICE for something to the tune of $50? I can OUT-RANK MYSELF WITH RICE, DEMOCRATICALLY OVERRULE MYSELF WITH RICE, IN MY OWN APARTMENT for the fucking PENNIES that is $50

I’m so sorry for the normal person I’ll be after quarantine because the cabin-fever version of me I’m inhabiting right now is perhaps just uninhibited enough to follow through on this dream I’ve just discovered of out-ricing myself.

[appraisedtiktoks]

[thenatsdorf]

Cat love is best. love. [source]

[linkswife]

Not to be overdramatic but I would die for Eric and Ollie

[ydrill]

not clingy at all 😹

[beradan]

Whan that Novembre with his windes colde Hath called out the voteres yonge and olde And maketh hem to stande in lines longe, To signes wave, and eek to singe songes; Whan Georgia hath hirself at laste allyd With Grittye and his cursed staringe eye, And hem that counte hath made the weary weep, The pundites babbel (and a fewe not sleep); Whan eek the Elyphaunte with all his host The trump hath sounden, and hath made his boast, Around yfuckt, and eek hath finden oute, Than longen folk to go to Four Seasouns Total Landscapinge .

[cbairdash]

Ok, one for @petermorwood, because this is a delight

[petermorwood]

Mirth was engendered, and tea near-split lykewise, For Chaucer’s verses do delyght myne eyes. But that last lyne appears a tryfle wronge, The rhyme is missing and it scans too longe.

Corrections have I made, with good intent, And say up front that insult is not meant To @beradan​, whose wit begat thys work. I pray, good people, think me no such jerk.

*******

A netwyrk choice was made and tally given oute To wrinkled Rudy, who responded with a shoute. “All of them?” quoth he, in voice of disbelief; “Why then, each vote was casted by a thief!” Yet many citizens do both dance and singe, And praise Four Seasons Total Landscapinge. No better setting could be found in Pennsylvania For one infected with a demagogick mania To learn that interference with the Mail Proves in the end to be of no avail.

*******

Now shall I make conclusion of this rhyme, Since simulating Geoffrey taketh tyme; Yet making such pretence has been good fun, So I may try more later. Now, I’m done.

[dduane]

Somehow I don’t think the people who signed off on his degree paper on Chaucer imagined what would eventually come of that whole line of investigation…  :)

[charliemalarkey]

I straight up thought the original post was going to be a prediction from the Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, at first. Not convinced it's not in her book somewhere.... @neil-gaiman, d'you think she saw this one coming?

[yuumei-art]

Continuing my series about the recent wildfires that turned our sky red. I noticed in my past posts a lot of people think this is caused by stupid gender reveal parties. Gender reveal caused 1 fire, but the other 650 fires were caused by an unprecedented dry thunderstorm.

I’ve lived in CA for over 20 years and I’ve never seen thunderstorms in August during drought season. Unlike other parts of the world, the normal climate in CA doesn’t get storms until winter. This storm is the remains of Tropical Storm Fausto which caused over 11,000 lightning strikes resulting in over 2 million acres burned, turning our sky red like the apocalypse.  

This is what climate change looks like. Not some stupid gender reveal caused by the mistakes of a few, but the collective consequences of us all failing to protect the only home we have. The least we can do is accept reality instead of living in denial. No matter how bad it is now, it will get even worse if we continue to do nothing. 

Vote and let our governments know that our future and our children’s future is worth protecting.

[aristhought]

dystopian past times

[peachesfromny-deactivated202507]

PASS THIS ON.

The first transgender suicide hotline is now up and running in the U.S. You can reach Trans Lifeline at 877-565-8860.

[lovey-dovey-writes-deactivated2]

PLEASE REBLOG!

[arabbara]

R.I.P. The 2976 American people that lost their lives on 9/11 and R.I.P. the 48,644 Afghan and 1,690,903 Iraqi and 35000 Pakistani people that paid the ultimate price for a crime they did not commit

[charliemalarkey]

Just finished watching Chernobyl, which was heartbreaking and awesome. The official death toll, in true Soviet fashion, is 31, while the estimated toll is 40,000ish to 93,000ish. It is the result of a parade of prideful, arrogant, incompetent, ignorant men, and said to be the seed of Soviet Russia's downfall.

It is also a death toll that is around 66,000 deaths LESS than the US has suffered from covid and the handling thereof by our own parade of prideful, arrogant, incompetent, ignorant leaders. So, good luck, America, I guess...?

[feministism]

compare.