$LAYYYTER
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we're not kids anymore.
Show & Tell
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Claire Keane
I'd rather be in outer space šø
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he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
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@charyou-tree
Come, reap.
Hello, I'm Claire (she/her), a computational materials physicist in her early 30s. I reblog everything any anything, and occasionally post my own thoughts. I post fractal art sometimes, check #fractal art and #fractal flame tags for some examples. I post a lot about rocks and minerals under #mineral specimen. #wizard shit is self-explanatory. I don't really do much other social media, but you can find me @CharyouTree on app.wafrn.net if tumblr burns down.
i made a post like this before but I can't find it now. so. I'll just redo it.
What's the first "big news story" you remember from when you were a kid?
It's something I love to ask mixed-aged groups sometimes because I think it's really interesting to see the responses. I've gotten answers from the Olympics of [whatever year] to Watergate to more recent stuff from my niblings.
My first news thing I remember is the OJ Simpson trial. I vaguely remember watching the news with my grandparents before that, but that's the first story I remember, in part because my second grade teacher had us go play so she could watch the verdict š
Before my beloved and I moved in together they were living with roommates in a place that didn't have a bathtub. Now, a reasonable person might conclude from this that baths would be out of the equation in a home with only one standing shower and no tub.
But these people weren't quitters. Naturopathic doctors and acupuncturists they were dedicated to treating their bodies well and one of the ways they liked to do that was hydrotherapy. Most people are familiar with this through things like polar bear plunges. You sit in a hot tub then jump in freezing water.
It's supposedly good for you and they were way into it. But again, no tub. They'd do hydro showers but it just wasn't the same. These people were not quitters, though. (One of them is the boob soap person, so it really isn't a surprise that she goes hard on everything). So they got what looked like two big metal old timey tubs but which were actually animal food troughs and set them up in the garage. They set up a water heater and god knows how they emptied the tub after, I think there was hoses involved? A pump maybe? I honestly can't remember. Anyway! Voila, hydrotherapy on demand.
I was not aware of this. So when I came over after a long day and my beloved said we should take a bath I was extremely puzzled. I only knew about the one shower. They showed me the garage tubs. I did want a bath and I wasn't really sure about the setup, but honestly I'll try anything once if only for the story, so I agreed.
Fun fact about me though. I haaaate being cold. I've been 0% body fat most of my life with skin barely keeping my bones enclosed. I'm always cold. My favorite activity at the time was sitting directly in front of space heaters. My shower temperatures turn me lobster red and make my beloved cringe. Willingly dunking myself into cold water is the antipathy of my entire deal.
On the night in question I happily submerged into the warm tank, pleasantly surprised by the big silly improvised tub. Which again was meant for livestock. My knees bumped companionably against my beloved as we soaked in the hot water. After a while they rose to go into the cold water. "You don't have to," they told me.
But I was haunted. I wouldn't be doing hydro if I just stayed in the warm tub. Maybe hydro was amazing. It has all these health benefits. I desperately didn't want to but I stood up with them. We were having this nice intimate evening in the garage, just us, I felt safe. I was gonna do it.
They stepped easily into the cold tub, dunking matter of factly into the frigid water. I went to step. I did. I really really tried. My foot went in and I started shrieking, my progress arrested by the total state of shock I entered when my warm toasty foot hit that smug arctic water tension. My beloved started laughing as my pitch ascended the deeper my foot went into the cold water.
I started loudly narrating my discomfort as my foot touched the bottom and I willed my other foot up to join it. "THIS IS VERY COLD," I yelled, "IT'S SO COLD I THINK I MIGHT DIE HOW ARE YOU JUST CASUALLY SITTING IN THIS FREEZING COLD WATER?! I'M DYING- I THINK I'M DYING! I'M DYING BUT WE'RE HERE, TOGETHER! I CAN DO THIS! I CAN DO THESE EVEN THOUGH IT'S SO COLD ALL MY MOLECULES HAVE COMPRESSED INTO A SOLID STATE!"
I ended up with both feet planted in the cold tub, water up to my shins, bellowing and panting while my beloved laughed so hard they couldn't breathe. I hunkered over the cold water, squatting like a frozen gargoyle.
My beloved was trying to psyche me up while I willed my body to obey me. In a sudden jerky drop like a puppet whose strings have been cut I plummeted my body into the cold and let out a shriek that Iām sure could have shattered glass and then leapt up out of the water at a speed relative to a rocket achieving space flight. I didnāt like it.
When we got back inside my beloved's roommates were collapsed on the ground with tears in the their eyes from how hard they'd been laughing. They and probably every neighbor down the block had heard my pterodactyl screeching and narration because the garage was not remotely soundproof.
lol come on
today i learned that the finnish word forĀ āhazardous wasteā is ongelmajƤte, which can also translate as āproblematic garbageā and my roommate and i immediately agreed this is a word that belongs on tumblr.
Your fave is ongelmajƤte
in german itās SondermĆ¼ll which means special trash and that too belongs on tumblr
One manās ongelmajƤte is another manās sondermĆ¼ll.
The death of credible government is darkly hilarious in a cosmic sort of way. Obviously, the FDA is useless now. Therefore, we must place our trust in more credible institutions, such as Taco Bell, which has been far more transparent and proactive in handling this parasite business.
i have to share with you all my favorite totk video ever
some people seem to think aotearoa new zealand is just fields and hills and grass. maybe some mountains. maybe a fjord or two. which is so fascinating to me because we have so many different biomes and landscapes it's bonkers.
we have massive volcanic fields. we have native palm trees and mangroves up north. we have huge swaths of geothermal areas that have geysers and bubbling hot mud and multicoloured pools. we have dense temperate rainforests. we have fern trees that grow ridiculously tall. we have huge tussock grasslands. we have a freezing cold desert. we have huge black sand beaches. we have sand dunes that stretch for kilometres. I love you aotearoa. this isn't even all of it these are just a few examples man
it's ridiculously beautiful and varied over here and yet when you say "new zealand", a lot of people imagine grass fields and sheep. which to be fair. we do also have. BUT STILL
long story short: it's not all fields and sheep. p.s. yes those are people at the top of the sand dune in the last photo
tags by @sufficientlylargen endorsed:
#I have a suspicion that a lot of people think aotearoa is a lot smaller than it actually is #I think there's a tendency especially for europeans and east-coast americans to think of it as 'a small island off of australia' #which like #it's small compared to australia #but most countries are small compared to australia #aotearoa has a greater area than the entire united kingdom #it also spans about 15Ā° of latitude #which is 50% more than england #and also more than any US state except Alaska
"off of australia" is also a bit misleading; the distance looks small on a map, but that's because your brain is comparing it to the entire pacific ocean on the other side.
sydney (eastern coast of australia) to auckland (nz north island) is a three hour plane flight.
EXACTLY!!!!! we stretch from florida to new york if you put aotearoa on a map of the US. it's like saying "japan is a small island off the coast of china" to me
BIG!
unfortunately one of the main reasons people think we only have mountains and fields and european trees is because of the LOTR movies. smiles. those movies are fun but the reason they were filmed here is because a lot of aotearoa's native landscapes were destroyed and replaced with idyllic european landscapes 150 years ago. which made it the perfect place for a european fantasy film series. so yes there are hobbits! but at what cost!
To add onto this, back in the late 19th and early 20th century the primary goal of the colonists was to create an idyllic paradise, or an image of an imagined pre-Industrial Britain. They saw Aotearoa as a prime candidate for this project, and art that highlighted Aotearoa's natural beauty was very popular. Paintings such as the one below were used to help New Zealand's tourism industry and get Europeans to visit or migrate over here.
(Source: The valley of the Wilkin from Huddlestonās run, 1877, by John Gully)
Tolkien lived during this time in British history, and Lord of the Rings is written with this same nostalgia for English pastoralism. The Shire is an idealized version of pre-industrial England, and many of the themes of Lord of the Rings are rooted in this early 1900s nostalgia for a pre-industrial society. So the fact that Peter Jackson's films merge these two elements is unsurprising. Compare the above painting of the Aotearoa with the following painting of Edoras, and then the film version of it.
(Source: Edoras and the Palace of Meduseld, Alan Lee, 1993)
(Source: Shot from The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, Peter Jackson, 2002)
They're all very similar in style. Now, was Peter Jackson being nefarious with this? No, I don't think so. But he is filming an adaptation of a book rooted in nostalgia for a pre-industrial Britain in a country where that very same nostalgia was used as a carrot to get British people across the world and help terraform Aotearoa into the very same image that allowed it to be the perfect setting for the films. Settlers who displace and disempower the MÄori in the process of this project.
full-force slamming my cock into a cliff face that ive painted to resemble a pussy after watching the roadrunner fuck it with ease
That enough Tumblr for today
log back on and read my post you son of a bitch
twilight princess funniest zelda game ever made
one of the reoccurring minor plots is that a 3 year old with the mental capacity of an adult is trying to abolish capitalism in the big city. there's a yeti couple living in an abandoned mansion and the guy yeti is like 10 times the size of and more visibly monstrous than the girl yet they made him a malewife. you can collect insects for a little girl that is insane about them and gives you strange and off-putting dialogue about each bug everytime you give her one and practically threatens you if you try to leave her home without giving her bugs she doesn't have yet. one of the modes of transportation in this game is being shot out of a giant canon by a depressed clown and landing on your feet with no injuries. there's a spaghetti western style minigame where the objective is to talk to 20 different cats. a chicken attempts to flirt with link. they made tingle into a sexyman caricature.
i completely forgot about ooccoo while making this post. this fucking thing:
and, of course, her son too
Every time someone says that Twilight Princess is too grimdark and serious, I want to point them to this post. Itās a very silly game.
fag enabler dog
Black Holes are So Much Fucking Scarier than you probably think they are
So, everyone has at least heard of black holes, abominations of gravity whose pull is so strong that nothing can escape. But that description actually undersells the true horror of what a black hole really is, and how you'd experience falling into one.
You might have heard that not even light can escape a black hole, and because light is the fastest thing in the universe that means they're impossible to escape. Its easy to imagine the gravity of a black hole pulling you down incredibly hard so that you can't jump away, but that's not exactly what's happening.
Imagine that you have a science fiction magic spaceship that can accelerate arbitrarily hard in any direction, and even travel faster than the speed of light. Since you know that the escape velocity of a black hole is the speed of light, you feel secure that your magic spaceship can rocket you away from any pull of gravity. To make doubly sure that you don't get lost you bring an instrument to help you navigate. This instrument measures the gradient of the local gravitational field, and points towards wherever the gravity is strongest, so that you can always tell which way is "down", towards the black hole.
So, with your magic spaceship and black hole compass you allow yourself to fall into the black hole and have a look around. Hopefully you picked a supermassive black hole so that the tidal forces just beneath the event horizon are relatively mild, so your spaceship--and more importantly your body--isn't torn apart. After you've made your observations and are satisfied, you decide its time to use your magic spaceship to head back out of the black hole.
There's a problem though, your gravitational gradient instrument that was supposed to tell you which way was down into the black hole is spinning wildly, seemingly randomly. It is profoundly unclear which way is out, and which way is further in. Maybe you decide no matter, you'll just pick a direction and see what you find. If you fire the engines of your magic space ship you find that the needle now points down in the direction you're traveling! So, you do the logical thing and turn around and try again, except to your horror the needle swings around to once again point towards where you're going.
Black holes don't just pull really hard, they distort spacetime until its normal geometry doesn't really apply any more. Inside the event horizon of a black hole, spacetime is so warped that the space and time components essentially switch places. Instead of space being stationary, and time flowing ever forward, in a black hole the intense gravity makes time slow towards a stop, while space is pulled inexorably towards the center. The singularity of a black hole isn't so much point in the center of a black hole as it is a final moment in the future of time. The event horizon is the boundary of the area where all worldlines--all trajectories it is physically possible to follow through spacetime--end at the singularity. Within the event horizon the singularity isn't a location in space, it is an inevitable moment in your future.
This means that if you're inside the black hole's event horizon, the direction of "out" simply does not exist.
Every direction is deeper in.
There is no angle you can rotate to that is out, that direction was closed off to you when you crossed the event horizon.
If you want to live as long as possible before you hit the singularity, you're actually best off doing nothing and simply allowing yourself to free fall. Because all directions are further in, attempting to accelerate in any direction will only send you deeper in faster. You might explore more space, but you'll live for less time.
Black holes are pocket dimensions pinched off from the rest of the universe where the door closes behind you as soon as you enter. There is no exit, and trying to find one only gets you more trapped.
In a black hole, "out" is a time-like direction, and you're going the wrong way. (If you were going the right way it'd be a white hole)
This is correct of course, and I conveniently ignored that if the aforementioned magic spaceship actually was traveling faster than light it would also be going backwards in time (and might therefore be able to find a way out), for the sake of making the point.
