Be Like A Seal

[picsthatmakeyougohmm]

[chibird]

The power of those big sparkly eyes is boundless. ✨

Chibird store | Positive pin club | Webtoon

[chibird]

Bringing back magic cat because I’m working on a new episode that will be coming out next week! 🪄✨

[redstonedust]

i think its fun when people use the trope of vampires thinking that werewolves smell like shit but its especially funny to me when they say a werewolf smells like 'wet dog' . like specifically WET dog? not dry dog? something about werewolves makes them smell damper than any normal dog even if theyre dry as a bone? fascinating implications. wet werewolf vs creepy vampire. much to consider.

[homunculus-argument]

"After you defeat your enemies, you cannot spare their children or they will come for you once they're grown, and the cycle of revenge never ends." Yeah duh, if you're just gonna leave them there?? No shit they'll hunt you down and avenge their parents.

What you're gonna do is take them in and raise them as your own. Don't lie to them what happened, or try to hide it from them; explain why it happened. Why you really, really had to do that. Because if you can't raise someone to trust you and your judgement after killing their parents in cold blood right in front of them, then maybe you are the villain that they grew up to see you as.

[isaacsapphire]

Pretty sure the UN calls both of those genocide.

[redstonedust]

the whole "insulting someone based on their appearance is bad because it could indirectly hurt people you like who share that feature" is a good start for unlearning body shaming but i do think we need to go further and remind people that even if there was some physical trait that was magically 10000% exclusive to conservatives and creeps and nobody else ever had it, we still shouldnt be insulting them based on that. because the problem with them is not their appearance its their ideology and actions. by insulting their appearance you arent just indirectly insulting others who look like that, youre literally not making the correct point. stay on topic ya know.

[theheartmold]

trying to figure out dinner with my father is impossible

[the-haiku-bot]

trying to figure

out dinner with my father

is impossible

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[writing-prompt-s]

"So if you win the duel, you get to take her on a date." They both nodded. "And if she wins the duel, she gets to take you on a date." They both nodded. "So why don't you both just... Skip that and go on a date?" They both glared.

[foxes-in-love]

[foxes-in-love]

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

we need more fat fitness instructors and I'm dead fucking serious

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

to be seen on social media, fitness instructors basically always have to have contemporarily attractive body types. whereas fitness instructors you meet in real life have a huge variety of body types.

being a well-qualified fitness instructor requires education and experience and yes, usually a significant level of fitness, be that strength, flexibility, stamina, so on.

Many people have all of those qualifications, while also being fat.

Perhaps the biggest lie advertising has sold you is that being "fit" means being thin. That is spectacularly untrue. The world is filled with fat athletes, amateur, professional, in all variety of sports, performing remarkable feats any of us would be damn proud to accomplish. That's a hell of a lot of experience and talent, including many educators you or I would be lucky to learn from.

[homunculus-argument]

Can someone explain what exactly is the train of thought in people who see a post like "hey if you set your huge fucking dog that runs up to strangers unprompted and also tackles people for fun loose in a public park on purpose, and you just watch that thing endanger everyone without doing anything to stop it, you are an asshole" and decide to dissect it like "hey what if it isn't a huge dog, but just a really really tiny one, who is actually also really skittish of strangers, and I didn't take it off the leash on purpose and it's also not my dog, and actually not a dog at all and was actually just a squirrel? Am I an asshole for seeing a squirrel in the park?" And they're dead fucking serious.

[blumineck]

This is… not a good idea.

(Also if anyone suggests a rapier they legally have to watch the video again until you understand why that wouldn’t work)

[sandmandaddy69]

[randomitemdrop]

Item: bayonet violin with scope for precision ranged spells

[one-time-i-dreamt]

Someone hacked into and deleted my Tumblr while I was using it. All of my posts gained red text and the letters swirled around like a tornado before being scattered off screen. Presumably for others to use in their text posts

[one-time-i-dreamt]

[blumineck]

How to dodge an arrow (if you have the requisite training and safety procedures!)

[pangur-and-grim]

it’s interesting how upset some people have gotten over negative things like homophobia and fatphobia being present in my writing. unfortunately I’ve had a life where those have been huge, shaping factors, and I like to talk about it. I was deeply anorexic for a number of years, and have had friendships and familial relationships deteriorate because of my queerness. being able to say “hey, this exists and it really, really sucks, now watch the fatphobic person get punched by a dragon” is kinda just what works for me, personally. I have a lot of feelings with nowhere else to put them, so my writing is always going to cater to my own catharsis.

[pangur-and-grim]

[thunderheadfred]

my cat is incredibly sweet and wants nothing more than to be within a 5 ft radius of a person at all times, gently chilling in your orbit. he is also VERY, VERY DUMB 

it’s a slow morning so husband and I are reading, not making much noise. meanwhile, Barold goes downstairs to use his box and when he comes out, he starts yowling like his lil heart done broke. husband goes to to the top of the stairs all worried like, “Barold, what’s wrong?”

kitty zips back up the stairs and just oozes onto husband’s feet, purring high-powered lawnmower style. the realization hit us both at the same time…

this. boy. this itty bitty kitty boy. 

he couldn’t see or hear us for ten continuous seconds, forgot. we. were. home. and immediately burst into tears !!!!

[thunderheadfred]

127k notes later

and I just wanted to update you that moments ago, this big orange infant found himself on the wrong side of a baby gate, could not hork his lorge butt over it, and so just started WAILING until everyone in the house came to rescue him. Me, my partner, the dog, our other cat… everyone came to be like, “Barold, what’s wrong?”

after this harrowing ordeal, he is now in my lap