list of interesting customers i've encountered as a goodwill cashier
toadstool wizard with toadstool robe, toadstool fingernails, toadstool purse, and toadstool wizard hat (top favorite of all time)
low-level mmorpg man with an armored trench coat who paid for his mountain dew and candy with gold coins
my coworker bob who looks incredibly shady when he shops during his off-time
woman whom i helped find a dress for a date while she told me about her c-section and other life events
man with a very sweet and well-behaved pitbull who sits in his owner's shopping cart and gives kisses (i don't know how his owner gets a full-sized pitbull into the shopping cart)
couple who shop with their maine coon cat whom they call their son (the man pets his cat too hard and argues with the cat when it complains)
mother with a young son who tells jokes to the cashiers every time they shop
couple with matching black outfits, red hairstreaks, spiked collars, and visible hickies who definitely switch their dom-sub routine on a regular basis
my 24-year-old goth manager's 40-year-old punk boytoy who keeps coming in to buy vintage tv sets
family of 5 with parents who look like they belong in a hallmark holiday movie
guy who interrupted my work like "hey what would you say would be a good art gift for a mom who's moving into a new place? you're on the clock and i don't want to look through all these canvases-" while his mom was right there telling him this is unnecessary, she can pick something herself, and she doesn't really need anything anyway
baby who screamed "HI!" at a guy so loudly he dropped a glass measuring cup on the floor
young teen who, when they saw my pride pin, asked if i was nonbinary and opened up to conversing with me
woman who piles her cart almost head-high with clearance-sale clothes to sell at a profit later (HATED)
germanic elderly lady who speaks very little english but i enjoy helping her through basic pantomime and select words anyway
family with a man carrying a bearded dragon lizard in each hand and wearing a backpack containing a tegu lizard (he set the tegu down on the counter for me to meet)
man perusing our DVDs who told me about how he used to have a huge media collection probably worth millions that was destroyed in a house fire, but he's learned to be chill about it; "we come into this world naked with nothing and we go out of this world naked with nothing"
unseen monster who keeps leaving half-eaten pints of Ben & Jerry's ice cream sitting around the store, enraging me further every time i find the evidence
woman who definitely lied about being a senior to get a discount on senior discount day, immediately followed by a woman who said "i could lie about my age but that wouldn't be nice"
two different senior women who were shopping on their birthdays and wished each other happy birthday when they overheard each other
noticeably gender-non-conforming customer who was buying clothes for a murder mystery-themed queer party hosted by the local kink community
mother who shops for her several children once a year, specifically at goodwill during our memorial day sale, whose 165-item and $400-dollar purchase almost crashed my register's computer several times and made the computer stall for 6 minutes while it struggled to apply the sale to everything (the receipt was about 9 feet long)
elderly man who asked me for a pen and paper, then spent the next several minutes writing down a song in a language script i didn't recognize at my register--my best guess is irish gaelic since it looked a little similar and he had an irish type of face
very positive man who told me "i hope you live a radiant life to 101 years old"
(more tba)























