A Quark of Nature @cheesecakecake - Tumblr Blog

witheredsprout

every forest is enchanted btw. stop being stupid and look with your eyes

dumbpuppyfag

(never degraded someone before) you have your mother's cruelty. and your father's cowardice.

naamahdarling

teaboot

I love that I share my house with one of the most efficient apex predators millions of years of evolution could produce. I love that two of nature’s most prolific machines met and were like “hmmm. We should lay around and do nothing together”. Now we’re both fat and happy and full of meat. The hedonism of it all

teaboot

Humans keeping cats and dogs as family members is like three prodigy assassins being introduced in the back of a shady nightclub and 45 minutes later they’re 6 crunchwrap supremes deep passing a blunt in the back of a shag carpeted Volkswagen microbus rating Oreo varietals by fuckability

and-so-on

sreegs

dorothylarouge

un-interactive-introvert

I would like to once again bring attention to the only good twitter feature, community notes

wizened-beanie-baby-moved

"everybody hates me" factoid actually just a statistical error. The average person doesn't hate you, especially not your friends. You, a person who sits in your room experiencing self loathing every day, are an outlier adn should not have been counted.

fluffylandshark

coelii

This is sweet but I really thought it was going to end with someone named “Haters Horge” who spends every second in a cave halfway across the world just loathing you for no reason and they were the statistical outlier

vacuously-true

Don't be your own Haters Horge

pawbeanies

heyy can we do a sexy roleplay where im a prince from a fallen kingdom and youre the powerful warrior who has taken me for their own pleasure. yes? yipeeee ok so before we start first here's a google doc with the whole history of the fictional land we're both from and the intricate geopolitical workings of the- oh yeah and here's a supplementary doc on the agriculture and trade routes of said fictional land and stuff and yes this is important. the dirty talk has to be lore accurate

awawandroid

>video claiming to be essay/history on a topic

>ask them if its analysis or summary

>they dont understand

>pull out detailed chart explaining what's analyzing the ideas and motives behind a text and what is just presenting information without thinking about it

>"it's a good video, ma'am"

>watch it

>summary

awawandroid

im getting a good grade in classes im not even taking, something normal to want and apparently possible to acheive

zagreus

wow i wonder what piece of breaking news i missed

violetsandshrikes

sometimes the way humans use words actually makes me tear up a little

kaijuno

tsunderebird

valtsv

tired: mermaids are all women

wired: much like elves, merfolk are mistaken by sailors for being all women because they have long hair and are very pretty

valtsv

inspired: merfolk actually have very different concepts of gender to humans because they’re an entirely different species with their own unique culture

valtsv

marine scientist: what’s your gender?

merperson: what’s a gender

marine scientist: like, are you a man or a woman?

merperson: i’m merfolk

marine scientist: no, like, what’s in your pants?

merperson: i don’t… wear any? i don’t have legs?

9lunarseas6-deactivated20240914

It’s a biological fact that fish do indeed change their sex to keep the male/female ratio balanced in their school population. So this fluidity actually makes more sense from a scientific standpoint than the silly idea that merfolk are born with a strictly assigned sex like humans.

witchcraft-in-wonderland

Merfolk are all canonically genderfluid and we love them for that

anonymous-lizard

Human: (invites merfolk friend to a boat party with their friends)

Merfolk: oh man, there are a lot of women here. Haha don’t worry guys, I got this :) *changes into a man to keep a balance because that’s culturally polite for merfolk*

Human: (spits drink) what the FUCK

sexy-necromancing-bird

OH MY GOD

kingfisher-colours

So in the presence of a ship with an entirely or mostly male crew, nearby mermaids would become female to keep the balance.

ace-aussie-asshole

That’s it. We figured out why everyone thinks merfolk are all women. Get a boat of fems out there and let’s see what they report.

netherworldpost

Finally, science has a practical use

charlesoberonn

If Sherlock Holmes was Isekai'd to a fantasy world he would just deduce the rules of this world and get back to solving crimes. He'll find an elf girl sidekick,name her Watson, and pretend like nothing happened.

ironmyrmidon

"If you look closely, you can see traces of chalk dust on the floor. Our murderer must have used a magic circle to kill our victim."

"Actually Holmes, this looks like salt. Quite unusual for a magic circle, since it can be scattered so easily..."

"It tastes like salt too. Good eye Watson. Let us start by visiting the fish mongers."

"Well I would enjoy some fried dragonfish, but how does this help our investigation?"

charlesoberonn

"A process of elimination, my long-eared friend. There're only two ways for the culprit to get salt in the city. They could have brought it in themselves-"

"But then they'd have to pay the tarrif!"

"Very astute! No, a much likelier option is that they bought it here. Either the docks or the meat market would be the place. And I have a hunch that our culprit is fishy in more ways than one."

charlesoberonn

"But Holmes, how did you know the merfolk ambassador was the killer?"

"An excellent question, the key was the footprints."

"But he doesn't even have feet!"

"He doesn't as of right now. But you forget, the magic circle."

"I see! The killing spell was a water spear, which normally requires a circle."

"But doesn't if you're already imbued with water magic like our scaly ambassador."

"So the circle..."

"To grant him a pair of feet. For just long enough to leave distinctive footprints in the scattered salt and to make us suspect a two-legged killer."

"By the Goddess, Holmes, you're a genius!"