Mostly Critters and Cakes

Maybe a bit of hockey too...

[natalieironside]

I'm always saying dictionary-ass bullshit like "heretofore" and "by dint of" and I'm always so paranoid that it sounds like I'm being pretentious but I promise this is how I talk and I really am just a freak

[soaringsearingphoenix]

when i was a kid someone told me "hate is a strong word, you shouldn't say it" and i went gosh you're right, so i went and found a thesaurus and memorized all the synonyms for hate. and i was walking around middle school unironically saying that i "loathe" and "despise" and "revile" things

[arborealgargoyle]

[id: a venn diagram made of three circles labeled “being neuro-divergent,” “reading a lot as a kid,” and “being aro/ace spec,” respectively. where they overlap in the middle is labeled, “ppl assuming you’re pretentious.” end id]

[natalieironside]

.... well I'll be damned

[chefystephie]

👁👄👁

[chadgamer]

your heart is a muscle the size of a rat

[lesbianredpanda]

SPONGE BOB SQUARE PANTS

[martian-martian-martian]

Your brain’s about four times the size of a cat’s

[hzs-modblog]

SPONGE BOB SQUARE PANTS

[lawbreaker13]

Your lungs can hold 5.5 liters of air

[dreamsanddabs]

SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS

[lawbreaker13]

The soles of your feet can never grow hair

[ineedtostopchangingmyusername]

SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS

[lawbreaker13]

SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS

[theswedishelf]

SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS

[lawbreaker13]

SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS

[theswedishelf]

SPONGEBOB…

[lawbreaker13]

SQUAREPAAAAAAAANTS

[theswedishelf]

*~deedlee-doot-dee-doot doo-oot~*

[spongebobheritageposts]

date of origin: August 9th, 2018

[ghost-postables]

The unbridled joy of seeing this pass by again, spotting the little red heart like “ah… my old friend. Spongebob Human Anatomy Squarepants.

[artemis-in-space]

I love that the person giving facts for most of this has a spongebob pfp, like we summoned him for fun facts and are now cheering him on.

[belovedfarseer]

Dragons. You agree, reblog

[roseybits]

[thickness-protection-program]

Me n the girlies when the Ibuprofen hits

[millenianthemums]

i want a shirt that has a QR code on it for some kind of horrible malware so that if anyone ever tries to film me in public their phone will automatically scan the code and be reduced to a functionless brick

[iwasrightaboutthesun]

Modern day Medusa

[socialconflict-deactivated20240]

My goal is to be so warm and full of light that no one has any idea the kind of terrible shit I’ve seen and been through.

[leatherwingsinc-deactivated2015]

[caluummhood-deactivated20140506]

HOLY SHIT, IT WAS THE ORIGINAL ONE

MAKE A WISH

[jamesjoeboyleeeee-deactivated20]

the first post ever on tumblr

[powerpuffsposts-deactivated2025]

I WAS EXPECTING IT TO BE A REMAKE OF SOME SORT HOLY FUCK

[kpopdotexe-blog]

WHO THE FUCK KEEPS BRINGING THIS BACK

[teenyweenynotepad]

reblog this because it shows up every blue moon

[flamboynt-deactivated20151220]

I FOUND IT ✊

[addcolortomysky]

I WAS SO SCARED IT WOULDNT BE THE ORIGINAL

[blairisbae]

Who first posted this?

[ratbastarddotfuck]

I THOUGHT THIS WAS GOING TO END WITH A MEME OR SOME SHIT NO IT’S THE REAL ONE OH MY GOD

[amberdamnn]

Wishing I’ll do well on my finals ✨

[reallyndacarter]

What’s one feature that you’re enjoying on tumblr that wasn’t on twitter?

Love that you’ve joined us here :)

Tumblr users.

[chefystephie]

Best answer. ms carter 4 president

[cadathecat]

BEHOLD...

you're welcome ✨

[daughterofsarenrae]

[ID: a picture of the Gävlebocken, captioned "If you're cold, they're cold. Set them on fire."]

[forfuckssakejim]

Yeah quiet quitting is great and all but have you tried chaotic working?

Like. I remember back in my grocery store cashier days I did so much crazy shit.

When WIC (Women, infants, and children voucher program to help low income mothers/families with children) people were in my line I would pretty much know who they were. Before the cards they had to tell us upfront they were WIC and show us their vouchers for what they were allowed to get (it was awful some times. Like. 2 gallons of milk. $4 worth of vegetables etc etc). They’d always have items hanging back, waiting to see what the total was and if they would have to take it off the belt.

I began to place the fruits/vegetables a certain way on the register scale so that like 1/2lbs of grapes read as like .28lbs or something. Then act shocked when I said that they still had X amount of lbs left. They got all their fruit and vegetables.

I think it started to kinda? Catch on to the women? Because I would have the same moms in my line month after month. And even after they switched to the cards (they worked like food stamp cards?) I’d still do the same thing. They were able to get more produce for whatever shitty max amount Indiana gave them.

Anyways. Be chaotic. It’s more fun that way.

[catchymemes]

[localstarboy]

[blushbnnuy]

Mom: let me see what you have!

Kid: A KNIFE!

Mom: NOOO!!!

[earthnation]

voice in the background: oh my god why does he have a kni-

[gsirvitor]

[capnsoapy]

fun fact if your breasts¹ are somewhere between a 36C-36D² then they weight³ about the same as your brain⁴

if you're above a D-cup⁵ you've probably got more boob than brain⁶

1. Both breasts combined. 2. UK and US bras are the same at this cup size. 3. Sourced from this blog post; a different source was found but excluded as it didn't account for band size. If you have a better referenced source let me know. 4. An adult human brain weighs ~1.3kg (2.8lb). 5. A 36D cup, or sister size (40B, 38C, 34E, 32F, etc) 6. Both breasts combined. A single 36G/H cup breast is about brain-sized.

[chefystephie]

oh noooooo

[chefystephie]

I just want to **SHITpost instead they tally me banan

My banan. It’s tallied 😫

[personsonable-deactivated201908]

me holding a gun to a mushroom: tell me the name of god you fungal piece of shit

mushroom: can you feel your heart burning? can you feel the struggle within? the fear within me is beyond anything your soul can make. you cannot kill me in a way that matters

me cocking the gun, tears streaming down my face: I’M NOT FUCKING SCARED OF YOU

[miaislying]

Hey OP? What the FUCK does this mean?

[personsonable-deactivated201908]

decay exists as an extant form of life

[miaislying]

That’s a terrifying answer, have a nice day