Genre: angst (IM SORRY IM A POET)
Pairing: jungwon x gn!reader
Warnings: ANGST, lots of hidden poetic stuff
Author’s Note: i saw this tiktok at 5 in the morning and i got inspired sooo here we are, uploading at nearly 8 in the morning. pls like this i am literally not sleeping atp!! also, do let me know where you get the hidden poetic references and hints to what has happened cause if yall don’t i’ll just cry
Someone loaded you into the taxi, and you practically collapsed in the backseat, drunk out of your mind. It had been some kind of company dinner, or had it just been a good night out with your friends, talking and laughing and drinking the evening away? Eh, who knows.
Either way, you’d obviously drank more than you were capable of, and now you had to go back home shamefully to your boyfriend, Jungwon, who’d scold you for being so reckless while drinking. But he’d still coddle you, try to get you to eat to sober up, and when you’d refuse to, like each time, he’d just sigh and get you changed. He’d try (and fail) to do so, give up again and just cuddle you to bed.
He’d told you countless times how much he loved cuddling you, just not after drinking. Not when you had the strong and dirty stench of alcohol lingering about you, a smell Jungwon really didn’t like. You’d apologise sheepishly, but you wouldn’t even remember in the morning what you’d apologise for. But it’s not like you were an alcoholic, you weren’t ending up shit-faced in a bar every weekend. Though… you’d been having these company dinners far too often these days…
No wait, it was probably just friends meeting up, because the person who had just helped you into the car knew your address, and had told the taxi driver where to take you. Hm, Jungwon was waiting there for you, and as the car started moving, you had checked the time on your phone. 12 am?! Oh, Jungwon was gonna get so mad and worried you hadn’t told him where you were this late. So, as the car peeled onto the main highway for the long drive, you called your boyfriend to let him know.
The phone rang for a bit, two rings, three rings, four rings. Why wasn’t he picking up? Jungwon dropped everything to pick up your calls, and it wasn’t so late that he would already be asleep. Where was he-
The call connected, and it felt like your soul lifted when you heard the whirring of the fan in the background. That’s Jungwon’s fan, the one he has back in the ENHYPEN dorms. So he’s at the dorms tonight… Oh well, that’s too bad. Nonetheless, you should let him know you’re getting back home safe so he won’t worry.
“Heyy, why aren’t you saying anything?” You giggled, breath hitching in your throat.
The call remained silent, until you heard a quiet, shaky sigh on the other side, and you heard your beautiful boy’s voice.
“I knowww, I’m sorry. I promise I’ll get home quickly and sleep.”
“Yeah… did Junnie hyung get you a taxi?”
You giggled, “Who’s- hick!- Junnie hyung? I don’t have a friend called Junnie!”
“…Eat something before you sleep. And brush.”
You grimaced, “Ugh, you know I hate eating before I sleep. I’ll drink some water, would that be better?”
A deep inhale, followed by another sigh. Somebody coughed in the background, probably one of his members, “Do whatever you want, Y/N”
You whined, “Are you that mad at me? No baby? No love? Oh Jungwonnie, I’ll make it up to you tomorrow, okay? I promise!”
“…I guess I’m just a little tired today.”
“Hm, I hate that stupid company of yours. Always overworking you till you guys are literally skin and bones. Someday, I’m gonna walk right into that building and-“
“I never get to see you anymore, Wonnie! You’ve gotten so busy these days… you barely come home anymore…”
Your voice had quietened to almost a whimper, a heaviness settling in your throat. It was true… you didn’t even get to see him anymore, he was so busy. It was really only these late night calls, when he’d get time to talk to his favourite person, as he loved to call you, with sparkling eyes and dimples on display.
Another shaky sigh, and you could hear doors opening and closing in the background. You could hear almost the faint noises of the game they were playing in the living room. Must’ve been Jake. But why were you hearing anything other than your boyfriend’s voice? Jungwon loved telling you everything about his day, no matter how dull or boring it had been. Why was he so quiet?
“I don’t know what you want me to say, Y/N.”
“You know what, I’ll come visit you. I’ll… I’ll make you feel better!”
You leaned forward, ready to tell the taxi driver to turn around, ready to give the address you’d written down in your mind, when he spoke again, voice sounding even more softer, more tired.
“Don’t. Please don’t come here.”
“Oh why not? I always lift your mood, right? Cmon, I’ll even eat something, okay? Maybe I’ll go get some tteokbokki from that place near your dorms!”
“No, no, please. Please don’t-“
“We can have it together, and you can feed me!”
“I’m begging you, please-“, his voice came a little louder, a little more shakier, but you were too determined and set on your thoughts to notice. Too focused on what you were thinking to notice his heavy breathing, the way his voice hitched as if he was gonna cry. As if he’d had enough.
Your words decayed in your throat, rotted, died. The last of your voice, like frayed ends, choked out and spluttered, a funny noise and that too, eventually died. A barbed wire tightened around your neck, and pressed in. It was like someone had just taken a bucket of cold water and dumped it over your head, because you regained your consciousness almost immediately after what he said.
“We broke up… Y/N… we broke up.” His voice choked out, and you could close your eyes and picture his face because of how wet the choke was. You could almost picture his glossy eyes, his downturned eyebrows, his stoic lips. You could almost reach out and touch the thin stream down his cheek.
“What…” Your voice didn’t sound like your voice. It sounded like… almost far away, like you were speaking out of your body, out of your own vocal cords. Ah, you were still drunk. Perhaps.
A sniffle, and then he spoke again, like he’d composed himself enough for your sake, and somewhat for his own too, “We broke up two weeks ago, and you’ve been calling me every night. You go to the same bar, get so shit-faced that the bartender calls you a taxi and has since remembered your address. Every night around 12 am, you call me to ask me if I’m home, and if you can see me. I’m not at home, Y/N, because it’s not mine anymore. You’re not mine anymore.”
Your silence was like stillness. In a moving car, a car pulling into your neighbourhood, you were stillness. Cold and frozen like a statue, still in time and life. A breath seemed to have been stolen from your lungs, the spark taken from your eyes, and the soul dying inside your body.
“So please-“ And his voice broke, and you could hear his quiet sobbing, you could hear it loud and clear.
“Please… you can stop calling me now. Let’s move on, please.”
“You should go to bed now.” His voice said, resigned, steeled, as if he’d made a decision, a final, binding decision. The car stopped in front of your place, your final destination, where you had to get off for the night. Maybe never return to the bar. Maybe.
