slowly

december 4th 2019, 23.59 happened.

[janployshompoos]

(Can you show us your love?) Right here? (Yes.) Are you sure? (I’m sure.) Don’t think that’s a good idea. (It is.) He’s shy now. (Are your ears turning red?) They are. Look. (The camera’s ready over here.)

MY MAGIC PROPHECY | EP10

[ohshinytrinketsmine]

Appreciation post for Chris' pretty, pretty legs Pit Babe 2, Ep 6

[mecenatesart]

Art is identity. Art is protest. Art is pride.

Mecenates celebrates Pride month by standing with queer artists and the vibrant, vital voices they bring into the world.

We believe in self-expression without limits. In art without boundaries. In love, color, and community.

Share your art, your love, your pride. Let’s fill the feed with what matters. 🩷❤️🧡💛💚🩵💙💜🖤🩶🤍🤎

[usermoran]

Until we meet again. I hope that whatever it is, it will bring us together again soon.

RESET THE SERIES (2025)

[jiwoonged]

You(r)tuber - coming soon

[buckystilinski]

Net & JJ: DMD Friendship the reality episode 5

Net and JJ really made me tear up this episode as they spoke about choosing eachother as a partner, as well as hardships they’ve been through.

Net said he still enjoys acting and was super passionate with what he did for Love Upon A Time (the trailer), and wanted to continue with it. He told P’Aof that if he couldn’t find someone he would be fine and would wait. However he found JJ.

Net isn’t sure if this was the right or wrong move, but just that it had to be JJ.

Net then threw this question back, asking JJ why he joined DOMUNDI and Love Upon a Time, even though partnering with Net was going to be more difficult (clearly referring to backlash and comparison he’d face by fans after James left).

JJ then started crying as he explained how he almost quit acting and gave up because he’s been hurt previously, and been ghosted, and this is basically his last shot, he’s tried so hard. (I’ve had JJ for 5 minutes but listening to his voice break and cry because he’s been so hurt made me bawl)

Net struggles with his words, but it his actions that show his feelings

Before JJ joined Net made it clear he would always fight alongside him (which we’ve already seen Net protecting and defending JJ)

At end of the episode all the actors get to choose their partners, and they obviously chose each other. JJ says that Net is always nice and cheers him up, with JJ worrying he might have caused Net trouble 🥺 but that he’d always chose Net. Then Net said he’d be sad if JJ didn’t choose him but he’d understand if he didn’t and smile through it.

“I think he’s the one I can share my journey with and grow alongside.” - Net

JJ stills get shy around Net so sometimes struggles with expressing himself, and doing ‘cute poses’ with eachother (as they aren’t used to it yet) but they still have fun.

[heretherebedork]

I loved this moment because they were just happy and silly and in love and they can taste each other and be there together and they're sharing music and everything and there's twelve years apart after this and how can they be the same ever again, how can they rediscover the joy and love they lost or can they?

[lurkingshan]

I have been thinking a lot today about Dohoe and what’s driving his choice at the end of episode 3, and then all his other choices for the next 12 years. I think it’s complicated, to say the least, and I expect we’ll find out the show’s perspective on this soon, but here is some of what I imagine is going on with him:

The way he grabbed that knife indicates he truly wanted to kill his father in that moment when he returned home after learning what he did to Juyoung

The fact that he wanted to kill his father terrifies him, both because he cares about his own future and because the idea that he could be anything like that violent abuser is abhorrent to him

He had to leave because staying any longer knowing this impulse is in him was untenable and likely to end very badly, and he needed a clean break to ensure his own survival

The fact that his father harmed Juyoung caused him extreme guilt and shame and he probably didn’t know how to talk to Juyoung about it in the initial aftermath

And maybe the fact that Juyoung willingly took that abuse and put himself between Dohoe and his father made Dohoe a little angry, too

After he left, Juyoung stepped up to take over his filial responsibilities, which Dohoe probably both appreciated and resented and maybe struggled to understand

The fact that Juyoung stuck around for the next decade and developed a better relationship with his dad than Dohoe ever had probably made him both envious and angry

Which made him feel even further alienated from Juyoung and unlikely to reach out to him or return his messages

And when he inevitably met Juyoung again after his father’s death, Dohoe came with all his protective armor on, flaunting his wealth and success, a renewed friendship with someone he knows Juyoung saw as an adversary, and a cold, demeaning tone designed to give the impression that he doesn’t care about Juyoung or his relationship with Dohoe’s father (indicating he cares very deeply about both)

In conclusion: *sob*.

[wanderlust-in-my-soul]

This first perfect, awkward kiss

[twig-tea]

Love in the Big City TV Series Episodes 1 &2: The Loneliness of Conformity and Nonconformity

[Wondering what’s going on here? In Feb-Mar of this year a bunch of us agreed to read the Love in the Big City novel one part per week and write pieces in response to the novel and @bengiyo’s excellent discussion questions weekly, which was a fantastic experience. @lurkingshan did the driving and wrangling and organizing, and compiled all of the meta from that period here . Now we’re watching and responding the series on the same cadence, 1 part (2 episodes) per week, and Shan is once again wrangling us and Ben is again providing excellent discussion questions to help inspire responses. Like last time, rather than answer the discussion questions directly, I’ll let them inform the directions my thoughts take. Also re: romanization, I’m going to use Go Yeong for the TV adaptation and Young for the novel since they seem to have standardized his name to “Yeong” at least on Viki, and that provides some distinction which is convenient]. 

In my written response to part 1 of the novel I talked about how Young was an unreliable narrator, because he was so dissociated from his own emotions that he didn’t often notice when he was having them. The loss of the bulk of the first person narration is inevitable in an adaptation to a visual medium, but I think these episodes still captured Young’s general disconnect to his emotions especially in episode 1. There are moments where he smiles that felt almost jarring, like smiling is his default response even if it’s emotionally a mismatch. The change in perspective in the series also means we see beyond Young’s POV, so we get the Mi Ae outing scene (which as @lurkingshan laid out, lent Mi Ae more sympathy than Jaehee was represented with in the novel) which really underscored that in that moment, she chose her future husband and the person she was becoming over her best friend and the person she used to be. I liked how the series included the karaoke scene with the T-ara's shading Nam Gyu so that we had context for what Yeong expected when he went to dinner with Mi Ae and Jun Ho, and how different Mi Ae's behaviour was to his expectations (instead of his commentary about it that we got from his first person narration in the novel).

Like @starryalpacasstuff pointed out, I liked how the argument in the show between Yeong and Mi Ae after she outed him made it more obvious that part of the reason why Yeong was so upset was that he was already hurt by Mi Ae pulling away. @wen-kexing-apologist rightly pointed out that Mi Ae put herself in the position to have to out Yeong by lying to Jun Ho in the first place, and one of the things that both the novel and the series left me wondering was whether Jaehee/Mi Ae made that decision knowingly; did she choose to embrace amatonormativity and a heteronormative life trajectory because she wanted it, or did she feel like she had to? Either way, Yeong's pain of seeing someone who he otherwise had so much in common deviate towards the norm and leave him behind and further isolated is very familiar. I linked out to my alternative milestones to measure your life by in that original book club post and I’ll take the excuse to do it again; for those of us who find the standard hetero/amatonormative milestones alien/undesirable, it’s nice to think about other ways we can think about the progress in our lives.

Another change in the series that I appreciated was the addition of more of Yeong and Nam Gyu’s relationship. Ben talked about how much more realized a character Nam Gyu was to K3/Kia guy in his post. The building out of K3 with things like a hometown, cheesy song choices, (h/t @moutheyes) and heteronormative romantic idealism tied to traditions like Namsan Tower (h/t @lurkingshan) was all possible because of the time that a visual medium provides (like WKA said in their post linked above) and all made him feel much more like a real person that inspired sympathy than Young ever described him as in the novel (this is not a failing of the novel, but it gives them a different flavour that I am appreciating in both iterations).

And because he’s a more realized character, Nam Gu's death hit me harder watching the show. From reading the novel, I remember Young returning to K3’s final text messages regularly, and how his reaction sounded very dissociated, but the scene of the empty funeral mourning room in the series is one of those visuals that will stick with me. It's been a couple of days and my stomach hurts just thinking about it. He was trying so hard to live a "normal" life that he was in some fundamental ways barred from by society, and it left him so lonely.

By seeing more of Yeong’s life in the series adaptation, it made it more obvious to me how many ways Yeong is choosing to be alone, and how his relationship with Mi Ae was an exception to that rule until it wasn’t. I noticed that Yeong moving in with Mi Ae coincided with the T-aras leave for their mandatory military service, and his breakup with Nam Gyu was after their sendoff party. By having more of Yeong's relationships depicted in these episodes, his loneliness when Mi Ae was gone to employee training and after they stopped talking was louder than in the novel, because we as an audience were aware that there were people he was choosing not to call. And it's worth noting that it was only when he had cut ties with Mi Ae that he turned back to Nam Gyu, only to close off that thread permanently too. It was an interesting pattern to me, that In the series, Yeong ends things with Nam Gyu after he loses other people in his life.

As  @shinjikar1 pointed out Yeong's parallel losses of Nam Gyu and Mi Ae are about the decision to conform or not conform (and @troubled-mind pointed out how perfectly the song parallel really underscores this comparison, and the visuals of the abandoned marlboros and the ring do the same (h/t @conscbgb). H/t @lurkingshan for saying in our chats that specifically, Yeong's relationships with Mi Ae and Nam Gyu represent conforming to or rejecting a set heteronormative standard. Mi Ae chooses to conform and marry Jun Ho, but Yeong chooses not to commit to Nam Gyu, and so he loses both Nam Gyu and Mi Ae as a result. Yeong laments his choice after Nam Gyu's death, but as @my-rose-tinted-glasses wrote, that read to me more as romanticizing a relationship only after it's done than any realistic assessment of their relationship potential. And the bittersweet representation of Mi Ae’s relationship with Jun Ho and how the only moment she really looks happy and herself at her wedding is the moment she runs over to sing with Yeong (and how we can see by his reaction that Jun Ho has never actually seen his wife be herself) tells me that maybe the decision to conform may not be any less lonely. That being said, as @impala124 called out, just because a relationship ends that does not negate its importance in our lives, and I love how that theme which was so strong in the novel shines through in the series adaptation.

As Ben mentioned in his post linked above, I chatted with him about how I was not just thinking about the additions but also pondering the scenes that were left out of this adaptation (e.g. the STI scare scene), and whether the moment at the funeral when Yeong asks how Nam Gyu died might function in a similar way for the TV adaptation that the STI scene functioned in the novel–something that when we reflect back on later, in the context of Kylie, will get additional weight and meaning. I wondered, too, about the club scene when Yeong kissed that random guy so hard the guy pushed him off and checked if his lip was bleeding, and how different that was to Young freaking out at the taste of blood after kissing too hard in the novel. Again, that scene made me wonder whether this was before Kylie or after, and if Yeong kissing people too hard will be a theme in the series. Similarly, we didn’t get the coverage of his time in the military in the first two episodes, but we instead got a mention of the T-aras leaving for their military service, which leaves Yeong’s military service as a loud absence, again seeding the presence of Kylie in a different way to how it was foreshadowed in the novel.

Lastly, this is tangential to everything, but I found myself thinking about how Korean audiences might react differently to the Itaewon scenes and how different they must be to how things are now, post-Itaewon crush incident and how the club culture has changed as a result of that event and COVID-19. The kids apparently just don’t go to the clubs like this anymore. In that sense, these episodes feel a little like nostalgia for a generation and not just for youth in general.

[iwantoceans]

Heartbreak Love in the Big City (2024)

[heymeowmao]

I'd wondered why you slept in utter silence, like you were constantly on tiptoes. As if you'd never felt at home, no matter how long you'd lived there. Was that my fault? Or yours? Or maybe it was simply an inevitability. 대도시의 사랑법 | Love in the Big City E5-6

[phuwins]

Did I ever tell you… that I really like cats? I can’t adopt one, though. Why are we talking about cats? You’re like a tabby cat that’s crabby and mean. From now on, I will call you “crabby tabby”.

Love in the Big City (2024)

[jimmysea]

LOVE IN THE BIG CITY (2024) - Episode 6

[jimmysea]

LOVE IN THE BIG CITY (2024) - Episode 5

[fiddleyoumust]

I have many The Boyfriend finale thoughts, but I haven't organized them yet (and may not). I do want to yak about a few things, though.

Ikuo, buddy. Relationships are not communal property, and you should have minded your own business, especially in light of the later reveal that you have feelings for Dai. It truly casts a shadow over your intentions. And before anyone comes at me about this, I think in the context of Ikuo's letter, his actions DO look a bit shady. All the "I wouldn't make you feel anxious or sad or treat you carelessly" with the unspoken "like Shun" hanging over all of that just makes everything he did with the DaiShun fight feel icky and manipulative.

The DaiShun fight was, once again, a masterclass in communication once they both got over throwing their solo tantrums. I really liked Dai telling the others that he's tired of always being the one to initiate the hard conversations (even though this isn't true because Shun initiated the convo after their fight in ep 7 and he also says "I love you" first), but I understand why Dai FEELS like that's true.

Shun is a lot of work. He's going to continue to be a lot of work. A lot of people watching the show are annoyed with him and think Dai deserves better. But here's the thing. Everyone deserves love. Everyone. Even deeply flawed broken people deserve love. And we all deserve the chance to pursue the love we want. Dai chose Shun. Over and over again. Despite Shun being a pain in the ass. Despite Shun pushing him away and testing him and making him feel anxious. Dai kept choosing Shun. I think Dai knows better than any of us what Shun is like, and yet! He still wants him. He's still willing to do the work, and it's a lot of work! Even the best relationships with the healthiest people are a lot of work. So, for me, it's not about who Dai "deserves". It's about who Dai wants, and Dai wants Shun. Dai thinks Shun is worth it, and that's what matters.

The convo Dai and Shun have about the t- shirt is really layered because you once again see Shun's past coming back to haunt him. And you see Shun acknowledge (him saying "if this happens again...") that some of his worst behaviors are going to repeat. Even if Shun gets or is getting therapy, there is a lot of work to be done to break him out of these behavioral cycles, so I think it's great that both he and Dai acknowledge that Shun is LIKE THIS. He is probably going to be LIKE THIS again. He is probably going to be LIKE THIS for a long time even if he's working hard to not be like this.

But now that Dai knows what's going on in Shun's head, he can help solve the problem when it comes up again. It's never going to work to tell Shun, "Don't doubt my feelings for you." Shun does doubt and will doubt again. The same fears are going to pop up over and over again for him. His trust issues are going to be a challenge for them. But Dai saying, "I won't let this happen again, " is so good. He's unlocked another Shun level, so when he finds himself back there again, he can sprint through it now because he knows how to solve it. And the best thing is, he WANTS to solve it. I don't know how to tell you how meaningful it is for difficult damaged people to have someone who thinks they're worth the work it takes to have a relationship with them.

I hope everyone out there who is hard to love finds their Dai. We all deserve a Pylades to our Orsetes!

[blramblingx2]

The boyfriend ep. 8

This is going to escalate... I just know it. Dai picked Ikuo when Shun found the line he should not cross... oh lord.

Dai expresses right away to Ikuo that he "nearly raised his fist", meaning he's really pissed at Shun this time and he totally should be. Like I said, Shun has issues, but he has to learn that he can't hurt others just because he's in a mood and feels a need to test their affection. The talk between Ikuo and Dai is super interesting and they are both right. Dai doesn't need to jump through all these hoops, Dai is right that Shun is not taking enough care of Dai's feelings and he is acting up. It's SO good that Dai realizes that he HAS to lay down the law now with Shun and make him see what his behaviour does. Wanting to be sure is one thing, hurting Dai now for nothing is unacceptable and Shun needs to know that. Dai is one of the most emotionally intelligent people I've ever seen on tv and he gets Shun better than he probably gets himself. Alan is the one talking to Shun then and now Shun is worried. And Shun later describes himself as "troublesome". Honey, you are in desperate need of therapy (not attention), but you are not a bad person. Basically, he has no control over his issues and feeling this up and down constantly is exhausting. NO wonder he mentally shuts down when the others around his start bickering.

Funnily enough, all Ikuo and Dai seem to do is talk about Shun :D And Shun at least texted Dai with an explanation as to why he didn't raise his hand. A normal, healthy person without Shun's issues would have probably just done that right there that morning before this escalated and hurt Dai. Just told him right there "I'm exhausted and don't want to work today. Please don't worry, nothing to do with you", but Shun is not a "normal" person when it comes to handling emotions. And then he sends the frog picture... Shun's own way of reaching out. It's so dorky and weird and he really is adorable. And it's adorable how gone Dai is for him. Ikuo looks like Dai is really beyond help at this point and he's totally right. And Dai himself knows it too.

When they get back Shun actually seeks Dai out to explain himself, which is a first. So far Dai always had to chase after him for an explanation. It shows how much Shun likes Dai. Dai also makes it clear that he feels like Shun is pushing him away and that he wishes he could express himself differently. That's a lot to take in for Shun so he falls silent right after, but he needs to hear this.

Shun then sits alone outside to think and Taeheon finds him. Shun looks so close to tears even though he shakes his head, when asked if he's sad. The way Shun starts talking about it, makes me believe that the two have talked about this before and we just haven't been shown. And Taeheon is like the therapist Shun needs right there to make him see the difference between not raising his hand (which is his right) and being sorry for hurting Dai and not telling him sorry. Thing is, that Shun needs to have someone to explain that to him because he's never learned. He knows he feels bad, he knows Dai is angry but he can't work it out between all the doubts and the feelings inside of his head and heart. So Taeheon's calm approach was amazing. And Shun actually goes to Dai, looking like a child that was sent to their room to think about what they did and then seeking out the parents right after to say sorry - which is actually pretty much what happened here between Dai and Shun - and Shun apologizes. And Dai, who I am running out of ways to praise, forgives him right away and gives him a hug and I feel like I'm watching the super nanny completing a parenting technique successfully, when parents then hug their kid and tell them they love them after a major meltdown. And Shun smiles and you can see the weight falls off his shoulders. It's also cute how Dai laughs and Ikuo grins as well, knowingly. What Shun has learned here is that if he explains himself and tells Dai how he feels and why he does what he does, he will be forgiven and loved. there's no need for him to hide or to push Dai away. Dai will stay, as long as Shun makes sure that he doesn't hurt him carelessly.

This is the communication Dai and Shun need to continue. At this point Dai has more than won Shun over.

I am not surprised that Dai has a good relationship with his parents and can talk to them about everything, because that's the vibe he's giving off and he must have also learned somewhere to be this emotionally mature and healthy. This doesn't come from nowhere.

The group talks about whether or not their parents know about them being gay and I hope no one asks Shun directly, since I am not sure the rest knows about his history. Turns out Taeheon's parents don't know he's gay and they barely have a relationship.The whole conversation is an interesting insight into coming out and parents' reactions and expectations.

It's also cute to see how Shun and Dai are constantly touching during this talk with Shun lying in Dai's arm or basically sitting halfway on his lap as Dai hugs him and showers him with affection. They seem to be in their own world more than once and it's so important for Shun and also Dai to have that. And absolutely no one looks surprised or comments.

Ikuo then goes to talk to Kazuto and Ryota is late again when he says he wants to talk to Kazuto as well. And Kazuto, once more, sounds a lot like Shun in what he says to Ikuo, just in nice. And then comes Ryota and I am so sorry for Kazuto. This must be so stressful. At least he tells Ryota this time that it's just friendship for him. Kazuto also comments on the nice friendship Ryota and Shun have. Ryota of course takes it hard, but accepts being friend-zoned. It's sad that we don't really get to see much of the friendship between Shun and Ryota, because I think it would have shown a different side of Shun, a more playful one and how he is when he's comfortable with friends. Since Shun has so much screen-time because of the thing with Dai, they have to cut somewhere though.

The next morning one last date is announced and Dai looks anxious. He sure must doubt, if Shun is agreeing to go with him this time, but might also worry that if Shun doesn't, Dai knows he might be done and end it right there. Shun chose Dai this time, who looks so happy. Alan and Kazuto will also go on a date as will Ryota and Gensei. And Gensei looks confused. Meanwhile Shun is snuggling up to Dai already and they are the absolute cutest. Walls... gone. For now.

Kazuto and Alan are a bit awkward, Gensei and Ryota go to a cafe and Dai and Shun are shipped off to their own love shack.

Both are affectionate and Shun is very approachable and open. They talk about Shun's past relationships and my only comment is that I found it... very odd that a 30 year old is dating an 18 year old boy without any experience, especially when Shun then says that relationship was "toxic". Alarm bells all over. And the second relationship with someone nearly as old was just as horrible. It also means that Shun never dated or did anything while he was still at the orphanage. And Dai reveals that Shun is the first time he's been this hung up on anyone and the first time he is invested enough to jump through all the hoops. Shun's reaction is overwhelmed, of course, but he also likes it.

At the other date spot, Alan has learned from the last time and doesn't come on as strong anymore. Gensei and Ryota meanwhile stay at the Green Room and to me it feels more like two friends hanging out than a date, especially now that Ryota has changed his mind for the second time. I just wonder where the rest of the guys are. Were they kicked out of the house for this?

Shun then addresses with Dai what's going to happen when they are out of the house and I am not surprised that he is super clingy and texting all the time when in a relationship, at least when that person is not around. Remember my list about the symptoms of child abandonment syndrome? Shun has now checked the last two categories as well, that back then I said we hadn't seen yet, which are "Seeking reassurance" and "Over-attachment". ( You can find the full list here)

I also feel like Dai is the one to slowly teach Shun that's not normal and he will have to if this lasts, because just because they are together, Shun's issues won't simply vanish. They then talk about how much Shun wants to be part of a family and Dai reveals he also wants a family of his own and kids. I find it interesting that Shun says one has to be ready for kids "financially and mentally". I have to say that when I was his age, I was aware of the financial aspect, but I did not realize how my issues would affect my mental state and those of my children. In a way I am sure Shun knows he either needs therapy or is already having it, because this is an aspect that takes a lot of self-reflection to come to terms with.

The discussion that follows by the hosts is an important one to have and I am hoping many people will come to understand how big a problem legally it is for same sex couples to adopt.

And then Shun and Dai go to bed, separate beds at first but the undercurrent of that tension is not letting them rest at all. Both seem nervous and fidget. And Dai is SO patient, my god. Shun finally takes the leap, literally, and jumps into Dai's bed. And Dai waits, even though it's nearly killing him to not kiss Shun first.

And finally, FINALLY Shun takes that last step and kisses Dai. And I can hear all of us CHEERING and SCREAMING at our screens. And so do the hosts.

I also appreciate that the camera pans out and gives them some privacy.... Dai got his Shun. I'm happy. So happy that Shun found someone who gets him and worked for him and makes the effort. Dai is such a treasure. And I would be very surprised after this if they don't make it after the show. They are in deep. Both of them.