Let me talk about one other adultism thing, that I feel a lot of folks just do not realize.
I have experienced this a bunch of times myself when I was a kid, but also have run into both times I observed child abuse and tried to get the child help. And that is this idea:
If they are abused, why don't they ask for help?
People told me that if my mother abused me, I should just have gotten help. Tell the CPS.
And when I reported the abusive parents of other kids, CPS told me: "Well, this child is a teen. They can talk. If they truly are abused they can call CPS themselves."
Which is absolute bullshit. Because that is not how this works. And fucking CPS should know this.
A child has no point of reference of what is a normal home life and what is not. If a child is getting abused, they often will assume that this is just how parents treat children. This especially goes for non-physical abuse. While children might at some point start to realize that being beaten until heavily bruised is not considered "normal", as this topic tends to be discussed in media from time to time, everything else is not. And even with being beaten... a big thing is: most kids will not be beaten or otherwise abused in front of outsiders. So what the child will usually take from this is: "This is how parental care looks like. Everyone is being treated this way by their parents. We do not talk about this. That is just one of those social rules that I do not fully understand. It is a thing that just happens but does not get talked about. Okay." Because a child has a very limited framework for understanding the world. Duh.
When I was a child and I was being mostly verbally and emotionally abused by my mother, I never thought it was an issue. I assumed all mothers treated kids this way. This was not helped by children's books (like Harry Potter) portraying this kind of abuse as positive, or by the fact that teachers did know some of it, and just never called it out as a thing. I ran away from home twice, and the only two adults who ever flagged it as a possible issue were mothers of romantic partners I had - one of whom was herself abusive to her son due to her depression, and the other was obviously not listened to because she was openly queer while raising a child in the early 2000s.
This is also, mind you, why kids need to be taught at a certain age about sexual abuse. Because if you turn this into a taboo topic, every sexually abused child just will think: "Oh, this is just a secret thing adults do with kids and that is happening to every kid, and it just is not a thing we talk about. Understood."
And also, to the CPS worker who told me - upon me telling her that my neighbor was beating his kids - that "the oldest is 13, she can call herself"... Just fuck you. Fuck you. I get that CPS is overworked and underfunded. But just... fuck you.
Additionally to this, there is also the issue that most kids tend to still love their parents. Even if they are getting abused. Partially because everything in the world tells them that they need to love their parents. Partially because there likely is some inherent bonding between young and their parents. And partially because even abusive parents will have good moments - a honeymoon phase and all that. And because of this, even if the kid realized they are being abused they often will not say to protect their parents. I mean, heck, worst part is that kids at times do understand that their parents are mostly just stressed and overwhelmed. Because I will remind y'all once more: abuse is rarely this massively calculated thing. It is usually that happens when people who themselves are often severely traumatized are put into situations where they are overwhelmed, and then let all of this out on someone who cannot fight back, be it romantic partners, friends, children, or animals.
Like, I am sorry. But everyone needs to stop blaming literal children for their abuse. This is all so much bullshit. Kids should be protected by the society. And that includes listening to them, not putting them back after they ran away from home, but also teaching them what abuse looks like so they have a frame of reference.
dededos
blakekathryn
areudirty
janainaart
snowghoul
