One of the aspects I appreciate most about Natalieās portrayal is that her addiction extends beyond substances. The drugs are only one form of Natās much deeper compulsive pattern of repeatedly latching onto something and becoming singularly consumed by it as a way of coping.
The clearest example of this pattern is her dynamic with Travis. She sees him suffering in the aftermath of his fatherās death and latches onto him, in part, as a way of escaping her own pain. Her entire sense of purpose narrows into protecting him, caring for him, and keeping him close, to the point that Sophie Thatcher has described Travis as Natalieās āobsession.ā Nat has felt useless, directionless, and unworthy her entire life, and her dynamic with Travis offers her the fulfilling feeling of being needed. She centers herself on that euphoric feeling of intimacy and her role as a caretaker for Travis, particularly after Doomcoming. Natalie repeatedly prioritizes maintaining access to Travis over respecting his boundaries, autonomy, or well-being. When Travis becomes more distant from her and drawn toward Lottie, Nat fakes Javi's death to draw Travis back to her and her, reestablishing their connection and his reliance on her. In the adult timeline, when she sees that he's apparently happy and living a more stable life in a new relationship without her, she re-invades his life with the explicit purpose of ruining this stability. When he changes his legal name and moves away to distance himself from her, she tracks him down, breaks into his house, and goes to his place of work to find him. The more unavailable he becomes, the more frantic and destructive the pursuit becomes. This reflects a pattern often seen in addiction: the escalating desperation to preserve the thing providing relief, purpose, or escape once it begins slipping away.
Then this pattern takes form in leading the group as the new queen and fulfilling that lifelong craving for praise and usefulness, then itās a secretive operation to secure rescue from the wilderness, then itās a reckless investigation into the blackmailer and finding Travisā supposed killer, then exposing Lottie to her followers at her compound, then finally reconnecting with the Wilderness at the compound in hopes of finding some kind of peace or healing. Every season gives Natalie a new fixation, a new āfix,ā and she throws herself into it with the same desperation and tunnel vision that fuels her substance abuse.
It's especially prominent in the latter two examples, as Nat becomes so singularly obsessed with finding Travis' supposed killers and then finding healing at Lottie's compound (her abrupt and jarring shift from fierce non-believer to full-on organic smoothie-drinking cult follower) that she comes off as almost manic in the destructive things she is willing to do to chase these obsessions. She behaves wildly; destroying her entire motel room when she can't gain access to Travis' bank account, almost killing the blackmailer on an impulse, breaking into Lottie's office and screaming in front of all of Lottie's followers in an attempt to expose her, agreeing to hypnosis, encourgaing all of the other survivors to stay at Lottie's compound and engage in her treatments despite even Lottie being hesistant about it. I've seen people argue that these are all evidence of a manic episode, but I would actually say these actions are more aligned with withdrawal. The logic of it feels addictive; she is willing to do anything for even a semblance of emotional relief, connection, or distraction (the euphoria, the high).
These obsessions have the same function as her substance use. She uses them to fill a void within her, distracting herself so she doesnāt have to sit with herself for too long, and to find some sense of purpose amidst her unbearable, lifelong feeling of being lost, untethered, and without a home. So she needs something external to pour herself into. These obsessions give her direction, purpose, and a means of escape (albeit temporary). She is starving for something to attach herself to, something that can recreate the feeling of purpose, certainty, or emotional anesthesia she cannot generate internally. It's portrayed brilliantly through Natalie and reveals a truth that addiction is often much more centered around a deeper internal wound than the substances themselves.
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