Titles Are Hard

I'm too old to take writing a bio on tumblr seriously.

[headspace-hotel]

how does this even fucking happen

[evilvillain123456789]

I am going to fuck this cartoon character . (pulls lever, machinery begins powering on)

[things-that-are-not-true]

my names sweetie 3000 because the last 2999 sweeties were all destroyed

[lycanthropicture]

tumblr is so good. whole website dedicated to BITCHING and MOANING. and television

[mintsky420]

these miis are driving me nuts

[larval-tear]

gravity is widely known to be a purple element

[10001gecs]

I need to suck you off until you’re groaning like a beached whale 🫣

ok you can give me a blowjob but take the time to think of a more sexy simile please

[10001gecs]

😭

[segamascott]

[blessyouhawkeye]

forever thinking about that girl at my uni orientation who, after being told to pour out her water bottle before entering an event, looked at me and said "they tell us to stay hydrated and then make us pour out our water, this is like totally kafkaesque" and then poured out what was very obviously an entire water bottle full of whiskey. hope she's doing well.

[tothechaos]

aw what the hell change my leitmotif to a minor key im not driving

[ordr]

Thanks for sexualizing peoples trauma fuckhead

anytime

[adaine]

the death of dvds is so fucked. what about bonus features

[adaine]

far far away idol would never happen now

[half-gobbled-piece-of-toast]

“I ain’t reading all that” your brain is rotting and shrinking

[springsgreenleaves]

Yes, but also, I am begging you on bended knee, paragraph breaks.

[the-haiku-bot]

Yes, but also, I

am begging you on bended

knee, paragraph breaks.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[ozempicofficial]

[playthings2007]

Don't come to elf practice tomorrow

[skarchomp]

dracula after bdsm (bat dracula sex monster): and now i vill perform the afterscare

[rabioheab-deactivated20200416]

earlier this year 2 boys got expelled from my school for going on a teachers email and sending another teacher an email that says “you’re a disgusting little man” and i laugh about it all the time because imagine opening an email from your coworker and thinking it’s important and then it says that