Chimerasmoon

[wordfather]

not my circus not my monkeys but thanks to my mutuals i know some of the lore

[ruby-white-rabbit]

There’s a turtle in my yard laying eggs

This bitch really gonna dump her kids on me and vamoose

I’m not ready to be a single mom

I know shit about reptiles

[ruby-white-rabbit]

I had to put a stick next to the nest because she decided the MIDDLE of our yard was the primo spot to give birth

Mowing is gonna be interesting this summer

[ruby-white-rabbit]

Meet the mother leaving her wildlife progeny under my city girl care

[ruby-white-rabbit]

I’m googling turtles right now. I sent photos to my southern stepmom for help. Apparently she’s a box turtle?

[ruby-white-rabbit]

70 DAYS UNTIL THEY HATCH??

[timesalad]

You a mom now

[ruby-white-rabbit]

Text from stepmom “watch out for foxes, cranes, raccoons, and snakes. They’ll eat the eggs so chase them off”

I’m gonna fistfight nature

[ruby-white-rabbit]

@mrswinterbarnes you’re not wrong. When I came back from closing the barn doors she was gone. Nowhere in sight. I thought turtles were supposed to be slow

I was gone maybe ten minutes so first off, not even a goodbye??

[mrswinterbarnes]

I don’t think Box turtles return to their nest either, so until they hatch and dig out

YOU GONNA BE A MOMMA

[ruby-white-rabbit]

DAMN IT SHARRON

First that bird makes its nursery in my bike basket on our porch and now this

Why am I becoming a wildlife nanny??

[ruby-white-rabbit]

UPDATE

SHES BACK

[ruby-white-rabbit]

NEVERMIND

ITS A DIFFERENT TURTLE

That’s two deadbeat turtle moms dropping their spawn on me

[odinspattern]

Call this one Susan

[smalltall]

You’re like a really ticked-off nature witch who never signed up for this animal empath shit

[hopetimistic]

What kind of city girl has a barn in this economy?

[ruby-white-rabbit]

Hey! So I didnt explain well at the time. I grew up a city girl. My dad retired and bought property that came with a barn. Thats where we parked the mower

I still have no clue how to care properly for turtles

[segamascott]

[shetheyslain]

Dahling you simply must read this book! It’s all about this devious little caterpillar who simply gorges himself on all manner of divine things

[nudityandnerdery]

From the media that brought you "Millennials are killing [insert industry here]" articles for years and years and years, now we have....

"Hey, Gen Z, we're gonna relabel vacations into something else now and tell you how you really should be wary of taking vacation because it might impact your financial future."

This is a goddamn dystopia, we know this, right?

[rabid-transcendentalist]

[empress-runner]

I love you Bamf but that was just dumb

[yaoyaobae]

Happy Birthday Silver

[diamondguls]

Fingerless gloves are the thigh highs of hands. I will not elaborate

[wildfire-starter]

wrong. ballroom gloves are the thigh highs of hands. fingerless gloves are the booty shorts of hands.

[beardedmrbean]

successful outing is successful, everyone wins especially Hugo

[comicgeekscomicgeek]

As, he’s so happy

[8168708]

Little does he realize that I have on my discourse-proof vest.

[8168708]

[jelloapocalypse]

[somethingusefulfromflorida]

Puthykraken got dithintegrated by the dithcourthe

[chuckletons]

felt inspired by this tweet so. here are some of my favorite line deliveries from this show

[sneepsnorp3d]

major traffic incident

[kira-serialfaggot]

Look at all the fucking space he had and he still fucking hit him. This was a premeditated attack!

[the-lumpfish-queen]

That Nautilus was born to drive a BMW and is cursed to be unable to do so

[vocabulary-altering-posts]

PHRASE ADDED!

"That Nautilus was born to drive a BMW and is cursed to be unable to do so"

[wordsearchwhatever]

That Nautilus was bornto drivea BMW andis cursed tobe unable todoso

Answer:

[thememedaddy]

[bitemeonemoretime]

[dogpuppy]

[chickenmim]

Dude... allow me to add to your trove.

I have a folder of these on my phone... I'm not sure what that says about me!

[teaboot]

This has always bothered me too and it didn't make sense until someone older told me that when they were growing up "scare quotes" were used the way we used *asterisks* or ALL CAPS for emphasis

Edit: Oh. The fake kid's book is... dark.

[allthingswhumpyandangsty]

[blignick]

[teaboot]

BESPOKE