*talks about demons loudly in local diner*

I am probably the worst dressed customer currently eating mozzarella sticks in this establishment.

[angel54980-deactivated20211025]

Anyone else feel like an accused outcast village witch?

[determinate-negation]

dropping out of school to become one of those medieval priests who live in caves and whip themselves and never eat

[harrysalbums-deactivated2018031]

[dingdongyouarewrong]

[railroadsoftware]

person: so what have you been up to me: (speaking very humble) well, I just got some new carpet.. it’s plush… person: (trying not to sound envious) pl… plush? wow. I hear thats the nicest of all carpets me: oh it’s nothing..

[beeftea78-deactivated20200113]

Imagine if you were a Christian medieval person from a small village and you had a feud with your neighbour… how annoying would it be to see them in church every Sunday? Not only are you obliged to be in the same space with them every week but you’d have to watch them receive the sacrament and have their sins forgiven even though you know damn well they don’t deserve it… and on top of that you get the priest preaching “love thy neighbour” from the pulpit, I think the fuck not, I’ll not love an unneighbourly misbegotten churl such as he, preach though thou might, father

[beeftea78-deactivated20200113]

I think I just got possessed by the ghost of a man who’s still really upset about his neighbour’s pigs eating his cabbages

[elucubrare]

i think my ideal life is a senator’s son in, say, 140 BC. I’m climbing the cursus honorum, but in a very leisurely way; I’m not really aiming for consul, which would be Too Much Trouble. I have dinner parties at which we discuss Greek theater and maybe think about trying to write Latin versions of them, but dismiss it as, again, too much work. Cato probably hates me. i am idle. my villa is opulent. 

[unclefather]

[illumie]

op literally has bubonic plague but go off

[bob-belcher]

me, driving down the road: I am so much happier now that I'm dead. Technically, missing. Soon to be presumed dead. Gone. And my lying, cheating, obvlivious--

my driving instructor: please stop doing that

[badamazonfinds]

Submitted by @bumblechub

[peterlewis]

[listens to any fob song i’ve heard 500 times before] fuck dude this is such a banger. what a jam. god

[driflloon]

a trip into the wilderness: maeve whalen for anOther magazine fall / winter 2017

[whythebigpaws]

[sibbun]

List of ancient beings on earth right now

Tommy Wiseau

Eric Andre

Keanu Reeves

[susiethemoderator]

This is Jeff Goldum erasure

[creepsandcrawlers]

Eric and Jeff are both like… Young immortals, a couple hundred years old

Keanu is a healthy fully formed immortal, a good 2-3 thousand years old

Tommy wiseau predates modern man, and has gone mad with eternity

[paramar]

Steamed Hams but it’s a YouTube Explainer (Featuring Bill Oakley) 

x

[gotitforcheap-deactivated201611]

*signs one change.org petition*

first email in my gmail account the next day: THEY’RE SHOOTING BABIES OUT OF A LIVE CANNON AND YOU’RE JUST SITTING THERE AT YOUR COMPUTER LIKE A COMPLETE DUMB SHIT 

[ripplestitchskein]

Ummmm so I ordered a bag of star anise off Amazon and there…is a fucking tooth…. in my bag???

A tooth.

[jonbutter]

i love that even though he was introduced and then killed off within 10 episodes, Lil Sebastian left a bigger impact on the entire show than Mark Brendanawicz did after 2 fuckin seasons