in my unfunny era

E // 25 // bisexual // she/they

[what-even-is-thiss]

“Cats don’t actually love you”

A cat is a small creature in the middle of the food chain that is fully aware that you are a very large thing that could stomp its head in at any moment and yet it chooses to rest its tiny little head on your leg for a nap and spreads out on the floor near you exposing its belly and its most sensitive organs. It brings dead mice and bugs to you to share food.

Don’t you get it? This tiny thing trusts you. It wants to help you too. It licks your leg thinking that it’s helping. It kneads on you to find comfort. It shares its body warmth with you in the cold and gives you your space in the heat. It hisses at other mammals it sees outside including other cats in an effort to protect its family.

Cats love you so so much. But they will keep trying to eat plastic.

[officialrung-deactivated2020010]

new ask game send me a 🌻 and ill just tell you whatever the fuck i want

[punksalmon]

whenever you take too much time to write something know it is because stephen king has been stealing your life force

[a-concert-just-for-me]

They should invent a me that wants to do tasks. And maybe if they’re feeling generous, a me that feels good after completing a task, too.

[neenarchive]

the sense of horror when you finish a book that was Ass Bad and you go to see what fellow haters are saying but all the reviews say it is the best thing they've ever read. feel like i just saw my reflection in the mirror move all by itself or something

[sagasolejma]

[bakwaaas]

no offence but I hate when people my age start projecting their own fears and ideas about aging and youth onto me. girl sorry but I’m young and beautiful if you think women in their late 20s onwards are worthless old hags who have run out of time that’s a personal problem

[ill-crawl-home-to-her]

“Hozier is a lesbian” “Hozier is a man written by a woman” “Hozier is like if a man was raised by lesbian mothers” “Hozier is like if a man was a woman” quick give me one reason why a man can’t be soft and gentle and poetic and in love without sounding like a terf or a misogynist

[dogrotpdf]

how’s that house that raised you?

[draconym]

The reason this makes the rhubarb plant sweeter is because all the glucose that would be spent growing the plant's inedible leaves is instead kept in the edible stalk. Omelas ass gardening technique.

[irl-donut]

this is like the opposite of that post about growing weed, cause you want to keep the plants horny so that they make flowers, but dont let them actually reproduce.

point is humans be putting plants in situations

[irl-donut]

are you a marijuana sex dungeon girlie or a rhubarb torment nexus girlie?

[tearlessrain]

sometimes someone will casually mention using chatgpt or some other generative ai thing and I can actually feel the little

above my head

[marquisoforder]

Butchered Tongue being on the Unreal Unearth album is so quintessentially Hozier to me cause he was like yes I’m going through a terrible breakup yes it has changed me in irreversible ways and YES I’m still pissed off and disgusted by colonialism if you were wondering btw

[hoziercriespower]

Hozier's interview for parademag at Lollapalooza

❝ Is there anyone you're looking forward to seeing? Are you going to watch any performance this year? ❞

[shamebats]

They made divorce so expensive because they knew ppl would do it for kink reasons

[gayweedanimal]

[knightofleo]

[escuerzoresucitado]

[bekgoldblog]

New work uniform

[baddywronglegs]

Public transport pro tip! Trains are much less crowded if you let people get off before you try to get on! It's not going anywhere before they do, so you might as well exercise a modicum of fucking patience!