nature valley crunch fans get crumbly

[tiktoksthataregood-ish]

[luisonte]

One punch man

[dzamie]

THE FLOURISH AND SHEATHE

[the-void-machine-system]

As a professional swordsman should

[salvasti]

15

[rococo-crow]

[ihaveapproximately4bones]

[viralfrog]

[24985uhjnetfoiuswhiejnklmpfos0]

fuck it 10 pm post we like to party

[moonkitty]

this video feels like seeing an old friend for the first time in a decade

[solarsyrup]

for whatever reason tumblr has flagged this post from a deleted blog as explicit so I can't even reblog it anymore which is a shame because it's one of my absolute favorites

[dwinkus]

nonlocal area code = hang up. obvious telemarketer

local area code = hang up. this one is also a telemarketer but trying to be sneaky

never answer the phone ever

[cigarettesforcats]

this is why everyone on this website is a virgin

[dwinkus]

I’m not gonna fuck the telemarketer man

[the-spoopy-ghost-of-raejin99]

[angelnumber27]

[honeysider]

[esynk]

[tatzelwurming]

in the dungeon you will have to face a monster with the nose of a tiger, the teeth of a tiger, the ears of a tiger the eyes of a tiger , the cheeks of a tiger , the neck of a tiger, the torso of a tiger, the arms of a tiger, the paws of a tiger, the belly of a tiger the back of a tiger, the the legs of a tiger, the claws of a tiger, the ankles of a tiger, the tail of the tiger, the mind of a tiger, and the power of a tiger

[starkwoes]

There's this video of nuns talking about their favourite things to do outside of nun activities and one of them says "ultimate frisbee" and the other one goes "and sister you are so good at that." I literally cannot get "and sister you are so good at that" out of my head. Out of all my stims this one is my fav lolol

[capacity2]

a question for you

Lay it on me mister fuckinyouhard0989

[capacity2]

He’s so shy he died

[halleywars]

[itsmahblebaby]

[superchat]

why would a level 1 crook do this

[importantpics]

[dragon-in-a-fez]

it really is fucking pathetic that a country with more guns than people can't hit one guy

[dragon-in-a-fez]

if this is how you found out there was an active shooter at the White House yesterday I'm sorry

[qwanderer]

Me: oh it's this post again. Wait. Why does it say "posted 37 minutes ago"

[sixty-silver-wishes]

I love it when headlines get cut off

[jazzy-mint-219]

[beaft]

google help me

[beaft]

the thing is, stephen king is generally pretty good at creating complex, well-rounded characters, which makes it all the more jarring when one of those characters abruptly comes out with what i'll term a "kingism". i don't know how best to define a kingism other than "you'll know it when you see it". it's the voice of the author intruding on the voice of the character, and in this case the voice of the author has a bad sense of humour and is ravenously, inexplicably horny

[beaft]

random example of a kingism aka "he would not fucking say that"

[beaft]

this too is a kingism

[beaft]

one of the hallmarks of a kingism is that when a character is being Horny On Main (or In Maine), they can never do it in a normal way. they have to come up with a sequence of words that nobody has ever said before in the history of the english language. here's another example:

[beaft]

i'm starting a collection

[mikkeneko]

[bonniebugsy]

These are all from Needful Things, which was written during King's "coked out of his fucking gourd 24/7" era. Pretty much all Kingisms come from those books.

[magicalgirlcrazycatlady]

And Needful Things was a big thing among King fans at the time! The town of Castle Rock had shown up in multiple King stories, and this was the book that would destroy that small town. That was the selling point, how would King destroy this reoccurring location?

Everyone knew this, anticipated this. And this was the prose we had to overlook to get to a shop that sold ... sun glasses that let the wearer fuck Elvis Prestley, in exchange for ONE Harmless Prank done to a friend. Your hearts desire for one small favor, it was masterful manipulation to turn everyone against each other but I still can't get over those glasses.