On when Blitz finally figured out the true meaning of rhe Asmodean Crystal
"Hey, Blitz," Vassago said, leaning against the doorframe of the observation room. He adjusted his sharp, tailored suit. Blitz didn't look up from the complex schematics spread across the table.
"What is it, bird brain? Can't you see I'm working?" Blitz grunted, marking a section of a schematic with a red pen.
Vassago chuckled, the sound dry as parchment. "Oh, just the usual Goetia affairs. I heard a rather amusing bet was settled today." He pushed off the frame, gliding smoothly over to the table and perching delicately on its edge, crossing one leg over the other.
Blitz paused, the pen hovering. "A bet? About what?"
"About you, primarily," Vassago said with a smirk, running a manicured claw along the edge of the glass containing a miniature nebula. "Specifically, about how long it would take you to figure out what that little trinket Stolas gave you actually meant."
Blitz’s brow furrowed. "Trinket? The Asmodean crystal?" He tapped the crystal hanging around his neck under his jacket. "It's a useful source of power, sure. Lets me jump between rings without a book. What else is there to figure out?"
Vassago let out a short, sharp laugh, pulling a sleek flask from his inner pocket and taking a sip. "Oh, you mortal-born imps are so adorably ignorant of ancient traditions. It’s a riot, truly." He leaned in closer, his tone dropping into a conspiratorial purr.
"You see, for us ancient Hell royalty, particularly within the Goetia lineage and the courts of the Ars Goetia, we don't just hand out powerful artifacts like candy," he explained, a glint in his eye. "Courtship is a delicate, symbolic dance. Back in the day—and believe me, those traditions die hard with some of my siblings—a suitor would present a specific, powerful gemstone as the first formal step."
Blitz stared at him, uncomprehending. "A step for what? A business partnership?"
Vassago sighed dramatically, tilting his head back. "No, you absolute obtuse imp. A proposal. An engagement. A declaration that the recipient is highly valued and marked as one’s intended." He straightened up again, finishing his drink. "Stolas followed protocol perfectly. He practically proposed to you on the spot, according to our customs."
Blitz’s eyes widened to the size of dinner plates, his jaw dropping silently. A series of flashbacks—Stolas's flushed cheeks, his overly serious tone when presenting the gift, the nervous energy—flashed through his mind.
"You're... you're shitting me," Blitz whispered, the color draining from his face. "He... he proposed? With a glorified teleportation rock?"
"Indeed," Vassago said, utterly pleased with the chaos he was sowing. "A rather significant one, too. Asmodean crystals are potent. The entire family—well, the ones not currently in spatial lockup—has been placing bets on when your thick skull would finally make the connection. I had a rather handsome wager on you figuring it out within the month, but alas, Orobas took the pot."
He hopped off the table and stretched languishingly.
"Anyway, thought you should know," Vassago continued, heading back toward the door. "Might want to bring that up over your next ‘business’ dinner. It should be a fun conversation starter. Ciao, fiancé."
Vassago disappeared through the doorway, leaving Blitz alone in the lab, staring at the red pen in his hand, a look of profound, existential realization dawning on his face.
"That absolute fucking drama queen," Blitz muttered to himself, running a hand through his hair. "Stolas... the motherfucker proposed to me. With a rock."
"Oh, now you get it?" Stolas asked, a smirk playing on his lips as he watched Blitzø finally connect the dots [2].
Blitzø, who had been staring blankly at the Asmodean Crystal sitting on their coffee table for the last ten minutes, looked up, a flush creeping up his neck. "Get what? The fact that you just happened to have a spare magical battery lying around?"
Stolas chuckled, leaning back on the sofa and crossing one leg over the other. "Darling, my family has a very... traditional approach to courtship" [2].
Blitzø groaned, rubbing his temples. "I thought you were just being extra generous. An alliance thing."
"An alliance is an engagement in our circles, in a way," Stolas said smoothly. "But no, the gifting of a gemstone, particularly one as significant as an Asmodean Crystal, holds a very specific meaning. A formal proposal, if you will" [2].
Blitzø felt his eye twitch. "You mean... that crystal? The one I’ve been using to power my TV and occasionally as a very expensive paperweight? That was a ring?"
"Well, not a ring," Stolas clarified, "but the Goetias were all placing bets on when you'd figure it out." [2].
Stolas leaned forward, his amber eyes sparkling with amusement. "He was the one who suggested I mention the 'ancient hell royal courtship' rule book. Apparently, I had been far too subtle with my intentions" [2].
Blitzø just stared at the crystal, then back at Stolas, his mouth slightly agape. "You absolute... bird-brain! You let me use our engagement present to watch Knight Rider reruns?!"
Stolas let out a full, rich laugh. "Oh, the look on your face when you finally understood was worth the wait! Very few people get to say they powered their home appliances with their fiancé’s formal declaration of intent."
Blitzø jumped up, pointing a finger at the tall demon. "Okay, that's it. I'm going to go start writing that book right now: 'Navigating Your Future In-Laws: They Might Accidentally Propose to You with a Power Source and Bet on Your Stupidity'" [2].
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