The time I publicly destroyed a bigot in Starbucks
This might sound fake but I assure you, my life is stranger than fiction.
Me, minding my own beeswax: Iāll get a large warm milk please!
Some guy: under his breath Warm milk? Get a life.. they donāt even sell that here
Barista: Actually yeah we do sell warm milk, does that bother you?
Some guy: Rolls eyes imagine actually drinking that
Me: I donāt have to imagine grabs my warm milk and takes a good sassy swig
The guy: Notices my ace pin Oh so youāre an aceggot? So you just donāt get laid? That figures
Me: Yup, Iām a proud āaceggotā and that has nothing to do with my preferences in beverages
Woman behind me: Did you seriously just call that person an aceggot? What kind of world are we living in!?
Me: Yep, Iām used to it though.. Thatās what you get for being openly asexual it seems!
The guy: Iām literally a gay man and I wonāt let you Jesus freak aces shame me for having gay sx, people like you are hurting my community. Iām gonna go have SX with my boyfriend
Me: Uhhhh buddy you were the one shaming me for buying warm milk and now youāre shoving the image of s*x down a sex repulsed aceās throatā¦ Not a good look. And yes, Iām a proud Jesus freak!
Woman: Iāve been an out asexual woman since the 80s and let me tell you, mr. Gay, we have done nothing but further acceptance for your community and carry your community on our backs.
Me: You have the nerve to talk down to an asexual elder? Really?
Barista: Throws water on the bigoted guy
Barista: Wellā¦ I might lose my job for this but at least I can say it was worth it
Me: picks up my warm milk and pours it on his head
Bigot: I HATE ASEXUALS AND ASEXUALITY. YOU ARE NOT EVEN HUMAN.
Me: loudly and proudly Another warm milk please, on the house! I think Iām owed it
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