Memento Mori

Butts, Cats, Occult/Religion, Pokemon, and my own Antiquated Delusions. TracyMartel & Yekaterina Petrovna Zamolodchikova TWITTER background by fionahsieh

[cinderxiii]

My love is a wisteria; slow creaking enwreathment.

I may not be native to your heart, but I was native to somewhere, and I am beautiful

And I am poison

[victusinveritas]

A collection of time travel humor text posts, not censored by me.

All of these really made me laugh, and laughter is a very good thing sometimes. All of the time, actually. Unless you're doing something that requires a still hand or silence I guess.

[the-haiku-bot]

A collection of

time travel humor text posts,

not censored by me.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[cinderxiii]

I wanted to be someone you could finally feel safe with.

[irondive]

i was enveloped by healing light in a Wendy's bathroom

[odd-maid3n]

[knight--error]

[therobotmonster]

[leothewerelion]

inshallah he will be drank

[everythingfox]

I was so confused for a second

(via)

[thepineapplepanda]

I honestly thought-

[bluebirdlester]

@birds-in-posts

[birds-in-posts]

Black swan (Cygnus atratus)

[weirdstrangeandawful]

@elodieunderglass

[elodieunderglass]

Oh it’s lovely to see this again thank you!

[twocubes]

what if you combined a pressure cooker and a deep fryer and made a pressure fryer, the most dangerous kitchen implement in history

[baedlyweathered]

does this imply you want to heat cooking oil to past its boiling point at one atmosphere

[iatrophilosophos]

Its real and its called a broaster.

[garaged0g]

*grabs america by the shoulders* we have got to lock the fuck in. south asia and the middle east are running goddamn circles around us. we have got to come up with a more dangerous way of cooking food now or we can kiss these quarter finals goodbye

[c3po]

over tourism is ruining the beach that makes you old

[effemimaniac]

it doesn't even make you that old anymore.

[c3po]

last time i went i saw a baby there. that shouldn’t even be possible

[otterlycurly]

Can’t stop thinking about this video so i’m posting it here from the bird app for oomf and oomf ONLY

[scruffycatdaddy]

Can I say something?

[ceruleanfuckup]

I NEED someone to do a tag compilation on this post because the notes are fucking perfect

[wagitfag]

there were a lot

[so-much-for-subtlety]

he’s danmath24 on insta

[borzoibabe]

did you know?

- the menu at a restaurant is not an ingredient list you can use to create new dishes we could hypothetically make for you instead of the choices on the menu

- we do not have omelets on the menu because we do not make or serve omelets

- yes, i know we have eggs on the menu, but we still do not have omelets.

- yes, i realize omelets are eggs, but not all eggs are omelets, and the eggs we serve are not omelets.

- you cannot out-logic me so that i cave in and ring in an omelet for you. i am better at arguing than you are.

- there are no omelets here. there have not been, and will not be, omelets here. if you want an omelet you will need to go somewhere else.

- i can also promise that you do not want an omelet cooked by line cooks who have not been trained how to make omelets. because we don't sell omelets.

- no, i am not going to single-handedly put service on pause for the next twenty minutes while three cooks google how to make an omelet and then proceed to fuck up multiple omelets that our kitchen is not set up to prepare, so you can have an omelet.

-and we both know you'd bitch if it takes longer than six minutes to come out anyway.

- no, you may not just go back into the kitchen and make yourself an omelet. the line cooks do not take kindly to trespassing. also, what the hell.

- i hear that you want an omelet. that does not change the fact that we do not offer omelets. if you want to eat an omelet, you will need to go to another restaurant that does have omelets on the menu. this is not negotiable.

- i am the manager.

- yeah, alright, go fuck yourself too, bob.

[manuelmoncayo]

Dreams as reality: Guillermo II 2026 Manuel Moncayo

[memories-of-ancients]

Silver figurine depicting a dragon or a tiger, China, 18th century

[nuclearfaggot]

stop arching your back boy you’re being dissected

[cyb3r-pupp]

Category 5 yearning faggot event. 43 dead 87 injured

[mapledre-deactivated20191006]

Can I get a booty pic with your panties on and one without them on? Can I also get 3 different pics of your boobs any position. Also, can i get just a normal pic of your pussy from the front and one where it's spread a bit open. Can i get a picture of you fingering yourself? Can i

[sonypraystation]

[mihai-florescu]

The lion does not concern itself with the bank account balance when a little treat is calling

[mihai-florescu]

The lion will never financially recover from this

[urban-industrial-aesthetic-2]