Another scrapped batjokes fic- 😞
Im so sorry 😭 I just keep hating everything I write at this moment, but I dont have the heart to simply erase it from existance-
And this is also not proofread-
The batmobile was on its way to Arkham. Joker sat hand-cuffed in the passenger's seat, leaning towards the window. Bruce could feel the clown's eyes on him, as always.
Right when they got to the Asylum, Bruce got a message from Clark.
The clown leaned in as close as he could, trying to figure out what it was about.
Bruce soon got out of the vehicle and went over to open the door on Joker's side. "Always the gentleman, arent you, Batsy?" Joker cooed.
"Get down." Bruce said sternly. And somehow, the clown obeyed immediately.
"I'm gonna miss you," Joker spoke slowly. His smile was soft, eyes crinkling at the corners. His pupils were blown wide. "Batsy, will you miss me?"
"I dont have time for this, Joker." Batman grunted.
"Yeah, yeah, you got other villains to fight and a herd of superfriends waiting to hang out with you or whatever." Joker rolled his eyes, his mood souring.
"But! Before you leave," Joker leaned closer, his smile returning as fast as it had left. "Give me a little kiss." He drawled, eyes half-lidded. "I dont bite. Promise." Then he winked and lowered his voice. "Unless you want me to, of course." He giggled.
"Thats enough, Joker. Start walking." The Bat growled. He felt his face heat up a little- maybe he really had spent too long in the suit as Alfred says.
Joker feigned a pout. "Oh, come on Bats, just one kiss? Please? Pretty please?" The clown batted his eyeslashes at him.
"No." Bruce growled, grabbing a boney shoulder clad in the familiar purple suit. "Dont waste my time, Joker. I have more important things to do than dealing with you right now." Joker frowned as he was then shoved forward and urged to walk; his irritation was apparent in his eyes.
Handing the madman over to the guards, Batman began walking away. "Wait. Bats- Come back! Bats!" Joker snarled, sounding like a rabid dog throwing a fit as he was dragged away. "FUCKING LOOK AT ME, BATMAN!"
Bruce froze. Joker almost never called him that; choosing to use some sort of petname to refer to him, always.
But by the time Bruce glanced back, Joker was already gone, and the doors were closed.
"I just dont get it, Lexy!" Joker whined, swinging all 4 of his limbs around, sprawled naked on Lex's bed. "I know he loves me, he really does! But he just- wont fucking admit it!"
Lex sighed; he could already feel the signs of an oncoming migrane. 'So much for being tired out.'
The clown would usually have been sound asleep by now- but he seemed to be fuelled by spite at the moment, and Lex knew all too well that there was no other better source of energy to fuel a human.
Lex was used to it by now though; Joker randomly showing up in his penthouse looking for a distraction from complaining about Batman.
Although, he could do without the annoying whining- lord knows the clown was already annoying as hell when he didnt have anything to say.
Lex hummed responses absent-mindedly from the corner of the bed, sipping on his glass of wine. The green-haired bastard always took up thrice as much space than what he actually needed.
Lex shouldnt have induldged the clown when he had just shown up there, fresh out of Arkham.
'A bit too late to be realising that right now.' He thought to himself bitterly.
Though, he had to admit, it was quite impressive that the man had made it all the way to metropolis while still in his Arkham uniform.
But Lex supposed that it was mostly thanks to the fact that both Superman and Batman were busy elsewhere.