Don't visit me. Shoo

they/them. thank you

[puyopuyo]

what the fuck

[puyopuyo]

[the-worm-man]

[vivaciousarcanist]

[levil0vesyou]

I’m on mobile someone add Mr Mime

[tumblingclockwork]

[homo-sex-shoe-whale]

My sense of humour: the comments on the official music video for Sugar We’re Goin Down by Fall Out Boy

[salami-dono]

My father says I complain a lot for someone who lives here for free. Whaaaat…?

I just asked him to rinse his plate so it would be easier for me to clean later!

[hampop]

[a-small-teacat]

Ye after my parents went way you far with “You do what I WANT under MY ROOF. If you don’t want to then MOVE OUT” I did what they asked me to

I moved out. Without a word. I just took my things and left.

Then my parents were like “how could you move out like that? It was just talking”

I just said I’m done with this talking, they went too far and I am not coming back, ever.

Of course they used manipulation, guilt, gastling, anything and everything so I would move back (and they could use me like a punching bag) but I stood strong.

They were honestly surprised that I had the audacity to get out of this abusive household. My mother even guilt tripped me that now father focuses or abuse on her. So I said “do what I did, get out” but she can’t. And I can’t even be sorry for her because she was also emotionally abusive towards me.

I guess it’s “either get out from the abuser or stay long enough to be like him” because I sure as hell see signs of my father in me so I went to therapy. I’m not about to became him after I escaped no fucking way

[valtsv]

enthralled and obsessed with this car i saw at the science museum today

[valtsv]

[awed-frog]

For all my fellow oversharers out there.

[agoodcartoon]

im sure there’s a self-own in here somewhere but i’m gonna leave this one up to sarcastic teens on the internet

[jonbutter]

[fatgaysinglenyer]

Fixed it

[hannahbadgerdontcare]

I’ll just leave this here

[dankmemeuniversity]

[jaubaius]

Diver convince octopus to trade his plastic cup for a seashell

[teathattast]

[carrionthrash-deactivated201904]

really loving how ominous this is

[outofcontextbratz]

[mollymurakami-archive]

i made a friend at target and we found a really good glitter nail polish that neither of us bought. also i love his mom

[adamdoesntusethisanymore-deacti]

I’ve been making dad jokes for years but my wife and I are expecting our first child and I’ve finally been making dad jokes while actually being a dad.

When we were in the hospital I got my wife a blanket. What was awesome was they were kept in this machine that was specifically made to heat blankets. I laid the blanket over my wife and said, “do you think they keep these at womb temperature?” I heard a nurse laugh for a solid 3 minutes.

[zeekubeast]

wanting to draw things but not having the energy to put effort into drawings

[valtsv]

hero: IS THAT THE BEST YOU CAN DO???

villain: *choking back tears* uh, yeah, i'm actually trying really hard here man

hero: *now looking uncomfortable* oh

[dreamterlude]

hero: hey man its okay that was good you uh you did good back there

villain: i did good??

hero: i mean- bad!! you did bad!!

[crack--attack]

villain: I did BAD?!?!

[official-lucifers-child]

hero: i mean... you did good at being bad!

villain: oh... thank you?

hero: *awkwardness intensifies* no problem...

[fagsystem]

villain, tearing up again: no one has ever told me I'm good at anything!

hero: where are your parents I just want to talk

[candace-gertrude-flynn-deactiva]

[broadwaytheanimatedseries]

All the best hero - villain dynamics just lead right back to these two

[fruitpinch-deactivated20161206]

i was in the car with my dad and he said to me, “hey theres a sticker on that car with uh, that guy on it” and the car drove away before i could see it so my dad was trying to describe it to me he was like, “his face is inside of his hat” and i was like dad what in the world are you trying to say. so later i had completely forgotten about the whole thing but apparently he was still hung up on it cause he handed me a piece of paper with a small drawing on it and said “this is the guy”

[rasec-wizzlbang-blog]

thats him officer

[mwagneto]

when you're scrolling through tumblr and you suddenly think of something to post or Google or whatever but you keep scrolling coz you can't stop and then you realise oh shit I forgot what i was gonna do so you have to scroll back to where you were when the thought™ occured even if the post was completely unrelated because doing this somehow magically summons your memories

[aawesomepenguin]

[youaremyeverlovin]

asleep on a thursday night? God, you’re responsible

[vodcar]

take off your shoes in bed you dirty little rodent

[dotmatrixisms-deactivated202304]

yeah you’d like to see sonics feet wouldn’t you

[nb-tomfool]

The burn was so powerful it killed the speaker instead