Hyesung is having the hardest time of his life being trapped between prankster Eric and his RicSung fanclub president Minwoo xDD fancam cr @.comet791127
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@cissoye
Hyesung is having the hardest time of his life being trapped between prankster Eric and his RicSung fanclub president Minwoo xDD fancam cr @.comet791127
Hey there - I don't really have any pressing story-related questions at present, but I'd just like to thank you for your awesome answers and your commitment to maintaining this blog! :) I hope this month goes well for you! Although since I'm already using the ask-box, I guess I'd ask: What general cliches about torture's effects on its victims would you like to see subverted more often? By that I'd mean - what kind of 'victim reactions' do you think are overdone or misleading?
That really does dependon how I’m feeling and what I’ve been watching or reading at the time.
I tend to draw a prettyclear distinction between stuff I don’t like or find overdone and tropes thatactively justify torture.
For the purposes ofthis question let’s take it as read that fiction which shows torture as a ‘good’or even remotely justifiable thing tends to send me into a frothing rage.
One of the tropes Ithink is very misleading is the tendency to show torture making people passive.
I’mthinking in particular about stories set in periods that had slavery and justhow often enslaved and subjugated people are shown as….good but submissive.They’re shown as unhappy and aware of the injustice of their position but alsounable or unwilling to do anything to change it.
They’rewritten as if they are all, alwayssuffering from a very particular set of depressive symptoms.
Andthat’s usually done so that a brave, bold outsider can sweep in and rescueeveryone.
Thereare Issues with that sort of story line that are well outside what it saysabout torture and torture victims.
ButI think this one really stands out as ‘off’ to me because it’s so much at oddswith the behaviour I see recorded. Especially in the Caribbean and the NewWorld.
EnslavedAfricans in the New World repeatedly and given the circumstances prettysuccessfully resisted.
I’vegot a whole book entirely on the violent African-led wars in Brazil and Cuba.And I use the word ‘war’ instead of uprising very deliberately because that iswhat the black people in Brazil and Cuba said themselves.
‘We are making war on the whites.’
Thesewere people who had lived in one of the biggest periods of instability WesternAfrica had ever seen. Many of them were captured soldiers.
Theyorganised across plantations, communicated, stockpiled food and weapons. Theyattacked key strategic positions, occupied towns and in Brazil they regularly set up their own parallel societies inisolated regions that conducted periodic raids on ‘white’ society.
Oneof my favourite martial arts, capoeira, was actually formed in one of thesesocieties. Its movements, culture and the method of training were all designedprimarily to evade detection by an insanely unjust elite that was completely paranoidabout any form of African resistance to slavery.
Infact when I was first given a capoeira name it was explained to me in terms oftorture: ‘We had these nicknames so thatif the whites tortured people they would not be able to betray their friends.Now that’s part of our tradition.’
Theonly successful slave-led war inhistory was in the Caribbean, in Haiti. Toussaint Louverture led an army thatwas regularly with proper clothing and footwear let alone weaponry and beat inno particular order: the French, the British, the Spanish and Napoleon.
Andyet somehow, time and time again, I see black people in the Caribbean andAmerica portrayed as passive.
Ithink it does a huge disservice to the historical record and to black people inthe New World today. It shows all of us a very distorted view of their history.
Andfrom the point of view of writing torture victims it doesn’t entirely add up.
Victimscan be too afraid to resist in obvious ways or at all. They can be paralysed by fear or apathy.
Butthey can also be highly aggressive towards their captors. They can be recklessand they can plan meticulously. They can be ruthless and daring. They cansacrifice themselves for the sake of others.
Theycan, in short, access the full range of human emotions.
Jumpingforward in time by a few hundred years does anyone remember the occupation ofMali’s north by armed extremists several years ago?
Inan area where music had long been a central part of life these armed groupsbanned it. They burnt recording studios, smashed instruments and threatened tomaim or murder musicians.
Afew years later someone made a documentary on the effect this had on the peopletalking particularly to musicians. Taking the title from the attitude thesepeople showed it was called They Will Have to Kill UsFirst.
People are rarelypassive and torture victims, so far as I can see always seem to find some way to resist, even if it seemssmall.
I wish less fictionshowed them as passive objects and I wish less fiction assumed violentresistance was the only form that ‘counts’.
The more I read themore I find thatthe Fela Kuti’s of this world are not the exception.
We can not be broken. We can not be forced.Our beliefs can not be beaten out of us.
Isn’t that the more empowering narrative?
Disclaimer
& voila, Merry Christmas and happy new year with the beautiful Christmas tree (even without the star) xDD
i’m seeing a lot of people reblogging suicide hotlines and this is just a reminder that this is a suicide help line that works like a text-based instant messenger for people who may need to talk to someone but have trouble/are uncomfortable making phone calls
Never don’t reblog this. There are so many people who have such bad anxiety about phone calls. This can save so many lives
to early emphasis: dear cloud’s nine has confirmed that she was asked by jonghyun to post his final note before passing to fans. she has also confirmed that she was given the blessing from his family to share it with the world. you can find confirmation of this here. below will be proper triggers for this post as it is not easy to read. i will also leave nine’s comment that she left on her post as it is important in regards to why she was asked to post it. if you feel that i have missed any please do not hesitation message me on my personal blog (jaekyung) and i will add them as quickly as i am able to. also thank you to sonexstella for translating. —- trigger warning(s): death tw, depression tw, suicide ideation tw, suicide tw nine: i said my final goodbye with jonghyunnie. even after seeing his smiling portrait of the deceased, it still feels like jonghyunnie will come to me and smile as if all of this was a dream. starting from awhile back, jonghyunnie told me his dark and deep internal stories. i think each day was very difficult for him. i kept having uneasy thoughts so i made it known to his family and tried my hardest to capture his heart but it only ended up postponing time and i could not block his last (action). i still cannot believe he is not in this world and it’s so painful. i’m still afraid, not knowing if it’s the right thing to upload these words but jonghyun himself asked me to please upload these words if he disappeared from this world. i wished this day would never come … after discussing with his family i am uploading his final note, according to his last wishes. i think that there must be a reason why he left this up to me. i worry that there will be controversy. however, i think that he predicted this and asked me, so i decided that i will do the one last thing i can do for jonghyunnie. i hope everyone knows now that jonghyun was not alone and that he worked hard … that he did really well … please thank him for withstanding well … beautiful jonghyun, i really love you a lot. going forward, i will love you a lot. in that place, please don’t be in pain and i hope you will be peaceful … —- i am broken from the inside. depression that slowly ate away at me ended up swallowing me. i couldn’t beat it. i hated myself. i held onto memories that have died out and, even though i shouted to snap out of it, there was no response. if suffocating breaths will not open up it’s better instead to stop. i asked who can take responsibility for myself. it’s you. i was completely alone. it’s easy to say you’ll end it. it’s hard to end it. i lived up to now admist that difficulty. you said i wanted to run away. that’s right. i wanted to run away. from myself. from you. i asked who was there. i said it was me. again, it was me. and once again, it was me. i asked why i kept losing memories. it’s my personality. i see. in the end, it’s all my fault. i hoped someone would notice, but no one knew. never met me, so of course, no one knew i was there. i asked why i was living. just. just. everyone just lives. if i asked why someone would die, you would say you’re exhausted. i suffered from concern. i never learned how to change tiresome pains into joy. pain is just pain. i urged myself not to be like that. why? why can’t i end it according to my own will? i tried to find out why i was in pain. i knew too well. i am in pain because of myself. it’s all because it’s my fault and because i’m foolish. teacher, did you want to hear these words? no. i did nothing wrong. when he blamed my personality with a quiet voice i thought it was so easy to be a doctor. it’s fascinating to see why i’m in this much pain. people who have more hardships than i do live well. people who are weaker than me live well. maybe that’s not it. of people who are alive, there is no one who has more hardships than i do, and who is weaker than i am. despite this, i was told to live. i asked why this is the case a hundred times, and it’s never for me. it’s for you. i wanted it to be for me. please don’t say things you don’t know. find out why it’s difficult. i told you many times why it’s difficult for me. with that, is it not possible for it to be this difficult? does there need to be more concrete drama? are you wanting more of a story? i already told you. did you not pay attention? what i can overcome doesn’t leave a scar. colliding with the world must not have been my fate. being known to the world must not have been my life. that’s why everything was difficult. colliding, and being known was difficult. why did i chose that. it’s a funny incident. it’s commendable that i was able to withstand up to this point. what more can i say? just tell me i worked hard. that i did a good job. that i went through a lot. even if you can’t smile, please don’t send me off in blame. you worked hard. you went through a lot. goodbye.
“A few years ago, I was crying and whining at my mom and sister while I was really drunk. I asked my mom and sister… it wasn’t long after we’d moved. I asked them if they were happy. I got drunk and woke up my entire sleeping family, like some ahjussi. It had been my number one goal in life, you know, to make my mom and sister happy. They both woke up and told me they were happy. But I was so envious at the fact that they were able to reply that they were, indeed, happy. Because it wasn’t like that for me. I told them while sobbing: I want to be happy too. Then I felt like I’d done my mom and sister wrong. But from then on, I started contemplating about happiness. For about six months, I pondered specifically over what I would need to do to become happy. I think that time of transformation has come. I think I need to be happy, now. I must become happy. I am going to be happy.”
Rest in Peace. You will be missed, our dear Jonghyun. Life may have been cruel now, but I hope you find another life where you’ll achieve your happiness. Sing on in heaven, and watch over the boys and shawols you left behind. We aren’t angry, we aren’t going to curse you, you won’t be remembered for how you died but for how you lived. You touched millions of hearts and graced a gift upon this world that can never be replaced. You’ll live on in our hearts and within the happiest memories we shared these last ten years. Go In peace, this is our final goodbye.Let’s meet again.
things abuse survivors think/say
maybe my trauma wasn’t bad enough
maybe what happened was just my fault??
but what if I can’t hold that person accountable? what if they meant well
what if I don’t have the right to be angry?
but what if they didn’t know they were hurting me? maybe its my fault for not saying it
it’s my fault, i’ve always been hiding how badly things hurt me
i’m just weak and pathetic and everything hurts me it’s not their fault i’m like this
hey this this thing actually happen or did i make that up
if i ask abuser they’ll tell me i made it up that must be true they do say i’m delusional
maybe if I’ve done something differently this wouldn’t have happened
guilt guilt guilt guilt
what if abuser is right tho? what if they’re telling the truth and it’s okay to tell it in insults then?
i’m garbage, i knew it
yeah everyone deserves compassion and comfort but me? no.
I am the sole person who is just bad enough to deserve everything that has happened to me
no this person didn’t mean to hurt my feelings i’m just too sensitive!!!
maybe someone else wouldn’t be hurt by this, this means its my fault
i hate myself
how long until everyone realizes i’m just a fake and there’s nothing valuable inside of me
yeah they like me now but i’m going to fuck it up and they’ll hate me like everyone else
was that abuse? no it can’t be. its my fault. if I wasn’t the way I am it wouldn’t have happened
everything people do to me is just what I deserved
what this person is doing bothers me so I have to try harder not to be bothered by it
this person is wrong but everyone believes them so it must be okay
yeah they hate me but i don’t want them to leave me maybe i can get them to hate me less
yeah this person is hurting me but i still need them in my life maybe if i change myself
it doesn’t matter if they hurt me, i’m used to it
what if everyone abandons me and I die alone
this person scares me but I can’t let that affect me
I shouldn’t be feeling this way, I need to get over my feelings
I can’t let anyone notice how I feel or they will hate me
how does everyone just stay calm? why can’t I do that
I’m a burden on everyone, I bet they’d all be happier if I wasn’t there
if I disappeared right now wouldn’t everything be better?
*these are not truths, this is after-effect of long term abuse
A useful guide for people writing about abuse survivors!
Where can I buy her album tho
that vibrato
SHE SOUND SO GOOD!!!!!
what did she do?
that.
The warning that you can totally relate to ..
10 Things Introvert Need in a Relationship | Psych2Go
This is important. Help share for your fellow introverts?
The master of pranks got totally pranked!! how on Earth he couldn’t notice MinDy?!! puahahaha meanwhile, the whole 3MAD staff were having the time of their lives LOL
171009 LEE MIN WOO FM in Taipei ♡ kiss it away ♡ 이민우 M
When your real friends are around, everything is gonna be okay ♥♥
Simple gestures yet shows the genuine care & love that Shinhwa members have for each other & how beautiful their real friendship is .. genuinely caring friends are such a blessing in this life. Get yourself friends like Shinhwa ♥
Shinhwa’s amazing teamwork keeps on impressing everyone .. 20 years of friendship speaks volumes ..
Minwoo giving a morning massage to the tired chef Eric ~♥ the only guests who can do that on 3MAD xD coz they are Shinhwa! :D
“WE ARE SHINHWA!” ♥♥ Minwoo caught the legendary porgy fish that has been the dream of everyone on all 3MAD seasons to catch. RicMinDy celebrate the achievement with Shinhwa’s distinctive greeting :)) their happy smiles ♥ & Andy’s “daebak”! Anywhere, anytime .. we are Shinhwa ♥
soooo much love ♥♥♥♥ & look at how Seojin looked at them with a smile on his face