Fan Trash

I like reading fanfiction more than finding new books..... because new books don't have very much fanfiction.

[valtsv]

[valtsv]

[thecryptkeeper]

i know the way people talk about their pets now is probably how we’ve been doing it for all of history. a cat owner in ancient rome saw their cat lounging on the dining pillows and commented “he thinks himself to be the senator claudius 🤣”

[isa-ah]

it should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. like no i shut it off and back on again why are you still here

[phantomrose96]

First season of FMA:B is actually unreasonably funny because every episode at the 2 minute mark Ed goes “remember Al we can’t let anyone know our bodies are metal and we committed human transmutation. Because the military will probably execute us” and then every episode at the 14 minute mark Ed is screaming at the top of his lungs about how he and Al are made of metal and committed human transmutation. And also the President of the Military is there smiling and nodding and not giving a fuck because Ed is the military’s specialist little boy and he’s expressly permitted to commit murder in the streets and do arson and treason and tax evasion if he’s got enough hands for it and that’s completely fine because, as previously stated, he’s their specialist little sacrifice boy.

[phantomrose96]

And also the military already knows he committed human transmutation and they think that’s really really great. It’s their favorite Edward Elric fun fact.

[phantomrose96]

@redrobin-detective it is in fact a really great subversion of the “teenage protagonist successfully has the Adult Institution scrambling and fumbling, due to his cunning teenage wiles.” Ed DOES fancy himself cunning, but he’s literally only getting away with this because Bradley Is Letting Him. For the first several seasons they’re just letting him.

In the arc leading up to the Promised Day when all cards are out on the table, adult military strategist Roy Mustang is leading a charge against the establishment while Ed has faked his death and gone into hiding as, genuinely, the only thing he’s capable of doing on his own as a naive and scared 16 year old just trying to survive.

[blorbologist]

'on his own' even then he's being babysat by two chimeras and a homunculus + prince having a custody dispute over a teenage body! And before then half the time Mustang is lobbing problems at Ed like enrichment in their enclosure, or Armstrong, Ross, Brosh and Hughes are keeping an eye on him - he is regularly on his own in the field or when he's going rogue to be a curious little shit, but there's very often the hand of an adult present! Even several! It takes a village to raise a smartass child soldier and his brother 💕

(It's also really fun once the gloves come off and Bradley goes 'okay your special little boy privileges are revoked. That includes you Mustang btw I'm taking your toys away'. Timeout for naughty disruptive scientist-magician-soldiers.)

[tiktoksthataregood-ish]

[desert-palm]

[captain-acab]

Catch me being a modern-day cyberpirate screaming up alongside you on the 405 in my mad max car with half a bitcoin farm's worth of RAM in the backseat as I hack your Bitchless Towyota™ device and steal the boat you're towing right off the back bumper of the tesla your dad bought you

As i roar into the sunset you have to swerve* to avoid the small flotilla of hacked Towyota devices trailing behind me

(*in fact you do not swerve because you're on hands-free driving to go along with your hitch-free towing so you can only watch helplessly as your tesla mistakes your stolen booty for a small child and accelerates crashing into it and killing you instantly)

[iwilltryalittlearter]

I’m sorry I had no choice, my hands moved on their own

[citycept]

Let her stay! Yeah she's trash and she honestly doesn't deserve it but she should stay!

[sizzlingsandwichperfection-blog]

jeez. sorry you didn't like it.

[beardedmrbean]

[oneheadtoanother]

[pangur-and-grim]

do you have a favourite book that you love with all your heart but would never recommend to someone without knowing them super well because of the uh, content matter? mine is Throne of Bones by Brian McNaughton. and if you want to tell me yours…. I’m always looking for something to read 👀

[skrytch]

Ooh I know!

You should read this awesome New Book called "Apparently Sir Cameron Needs to Die" by Greer Stothers

[pangur-and-grim]

I don’t know man…. I’m into some sick stuff, but that’s pushing it even for me.

[qcharlie]

please god watch this right now

[fangirltothefullest]

The editing of this video is hysterical and genius- they switch between so many editing styles to reflect exactly what kind of thing they're going for in each segment its GREAT.

[panthepotman]

I'm obsessed with the Elizabethan ruff

[airinyourtires]

If you’re pining you need to stop and pick a different tree. You know, spruce it up a little

[airinyourtires]

I’m still proud of this post. It’s evergreen

[prokopetz]

Concept: fairy tale where the wicked step-parent (who is of course also some sort of warlock) transforms the princess into a swan, as one does, but rather than running off to mope around in a lake and be beautifully tragic, the princess decides to stick around the palace and cause problems on purpose.

[alarajrogers]

It is a beautiful day in the palace, and you are a horrible swan princess.

[marypsue]

In my defense, who turns somebody they want to get rid of into a swan, anyway?

Like. Swans are gigantic, territorial, feather-clad balls of muscle and hatred. Also, magic is expensive and complicated and makes you grow an ugly little goatee - although maybe that’s just my uncle. Why would you even bother? Like, poison is right there. 

Of course, unfortunately, my uncle has always subscribed to the philosophy of ‘why be evil if you can’t be dramatic about it?’.

Keep reading

[marypsue]

Put this one on AO3 because why not.

[anexperimentallife]

[uncivilliberties]

Too good et cetera et cetera