Honda Civic Stan blog

this blog is not Yoda or ricer related please go away I do car identifications (not just Civics), send an ask or submission

[civicposting]

[smarties-03]

Age regressing to three seconds ago when the light was still yellow so as to avoid getting a red light ticket

[things-about-cars-in-posts]

We need to do most nonbinary cars next. Because it's obviously the NB miata. I mean come on

Alright then, let apostrophe s!

So, we already have one candidate - two if you split them between pre-and post facelift...

...but let's see if we can do better.

The first course of action was to ask an expert in nonbinary, my nonbinary ex. They suggested "that asymmetrical car from the commercial", and I immediately realized, oh right, the Hyundai Veloster!

Literally rejecting the binary between hatchbacks with rear doors and hatchbacks with none, as illustrated by quite a commercial if I do say so myself.

As the ad hints, yes indeed the Veloster's rear door was always opposite the driver's side, including in right hand drive cars - meaning yes, the Veloster's rear door changes side with the market it's sold in...

...a bit like what my ex was actually referring to: the third generation Nissan Cube, another asymmetric vehicle with two symmetrical versions, as explained in my Pike Cars post (and indeed, the Cube also got a spectacular campaign - you really gotta go have a look at that post right there).

So, having gotten their suggestion (and another unrelated pick that they did however approve...)

...I set about hitting up the Discord for completion's sake, where @chevyventure gave a couple suggestions of his own: the Kia Soul.

And let me tell you, the commercials just keep getting weirder.

And this is not even about the commercial itself, it's how long they kept rolling with the idea, and really, how far they took it too. From its debut...

...to its small restyling in 2012...

...to its redesign in 2014...

...and more: that's not even most of them! But I'll stick to suggesting you look them up on YouTube because we still have to get to our friend's other suggestions.

Luckily, the 5th generation Camry will be quick work, since the main argument for its nonbinariness is that swinging either particular way would imply some sort of characteristic, thus violating the spirit of the Camry, a car so committed to the bland that for years the most interesting thing about them have been their dents.

And so we get to the final suggestion, the second-gen Scion xB.

Okay, so, storytime, I was looking to get some pictures of the car going on, right? So I found this one which is of good quality, a well-representing angle and a color that compliments its enbyness, so I clicked on the Car And Driver article this is from to browse its gallery and find a rear shot and what do I not see as the first picture in the album.

I mean, that is on the nose for my standards.

And I'm not the only one who made interesting finds looking for these pictures...

So, what'll it be?

Most nonbinary car:

NB Miata (pre or post facelift, if this option wins they'll have a standoff)

Hyundai Veloster

Nissan Cube

5th gen Toyota Camry

Scion xB

Scion xD / Toyota Urban Cruiser

Voting ended onDec 8, 2023

"But wait", I hear you think because not only can I hear the sounds you make yes even the farts but also your thoughts, "what was that Discord you were referring to, does this blog have a- wait even that silent one from a minute ago?". And, setting aside the serious work your definition of 'silent' needs, yes it does!!!! Click that blue link to find out more!

Links in blue are posts of mine about the topic in question - if you liked this post, you might like those!

[2014-scion-xd]

2014 Scion XD supports Nonbinary rights

[things-about-cars-in-posts]

I love this place.

[civicposting]

I am so glad I decided to go down car tumblr to cheer myself up after coming across some anti-car posts :( (listen I completely agree that car-centric infrastructure is a bad thing but come on do you really need to act like Every Car Ever is Pure Evil? Some people have never looked into the eyes headlights of a 2001-03 Civic and felt its Love) but I digress (sorry I just discovered your blog @things-about-cars-in-posts and I love you and your ramblings and now I feel inspired to ramble myself <3)

Personally I see most cars as non-binary by default, however often they either lean towards or are masculine to me (the way I describe this to people is that I get the same feeling from looking at a car as when you see a little bug crawling on the ground and are like "look at him go! :)". They're just little guys to me :) (this ESPECIALLY applies to Honda Civics))

BUT I would like to mention a few of my friends'* cars that they deem non-binary (and I think they are completely right for it)

A *former friend of mine drove a Nissan Juke. The Juke was non-binary and used they/them pronouns.

Another (not former) friend drives a Chevrolet Spark named Trix who also is non-binary (the car, not the owner (actually wait no both the owner and car are non-binary)). Trix has auto headlights, stock Apple CarPlay... and crank/manual windows. Interesting combination of features.

And another friend drives a VW Jetta named Jenson Barbie. I don't remember Jenson's gender, but the owner/my friend refers to him with he/him pronouns usually, and often calls him "Jenny" as well. Plus the owner is also enby and his enby energy has spread to his car in my eyes. Jenny has a lot of character (is in questionable condition) and we love him for it <3

(stock photos of the same generation cars, not the exact cars (I do have pictures of the exact cars because of course I take pictures of my friends cars, I'm just too lazy to look for them right now lol))

[civicposting]

ADDENDUM:

Currently with the owner of Jenson, he reminded me (cant believe I forgot) that Jenson "runs on gender fluid". Incredible.

There he is :)

(Also ft. my Civic)

[things-about-cars-in-posts]

We need to do most nonbinary cars next. Because it's obviously the NB miata. I mean come on

Alright then, let apostrophe s!

So, we already have one candidate - two if you split them between pre-and post facelift...

...but let's see if we can do better.

The first course of action was to ask an expert in nonbinary, my nonbinary ex. They suggested "that asymmetrical car from the commercial", and I immediately realized, oh right, the Hyundai Veloster!

Literally rejecting the binary between hatchbacks with rear doors and hatchbacks with none, as illustrated by quite a commercial if I do say so myself.

As the ad hints, yes indeed the Veloster's rear door was always opposite the driver's side, including in right hand drive cars - meaning yes, the Veloster's rear door changes side with the market it's sold in...

...a bit like what my ex was actually referring to: the third generation Nissan Cube, another asymmetric vehicle with two symmetrical versions, as explained in my Pike Cars post (and indeed, the Cube also got a spectacular campaign - you really gotta go have a look at that post right there).

So, having gotten their suggestion (and another unrelated pick that they did however approve...)

...I set about hitting up the Discord for completion's sake, where @chevyventure gave a couple suggestions of his own: the Kia Soul.

And let me tell you, the commercials just keep getting weirder.

And this is not even about the commercial itself, it's how long they kept rolling with the idea, and really, how far they took it too. From its debut...

...to its small restyling in 2012...

...to its redesign in 2014...

...and more: that's not even most of them! But I'll stick to suggesting you look them up on YouTube because we still have to get to our friend's other suggestions.

Luckily, the 5th generation Camry will be quick work, since the main argument for its nonbinariness is that swinging either particular way would imply some sort of characteristic, thus violating the spirit of the Camry, a car so committed to the bland that for years the most interesting thing about them have been their dents.

And so we get to the final suggestion, the second-gen Scion xB.

Okay, so, storytime, I was looking to get some pictures of the car going on, right? So I found this one which is of good quality, a well-representing angle and a color that compliments its enbyness, so I clicked on the Car And Driver article this is from to browse its gallery and find a rear shot and what do I not see as the first picture in the album.

I mean, that is on the nose for my standards.

And I'm not the only one who made interesting finds looking for these pictures...

So, what'll it be?

Most nonbinary car:

NB Miata (pre or post facelift, if this option wins they'll have a standoff)

Hyundai Veloster

Nissan Cube

5th gen Toyota Camry

Scion xB

Scion xD / Toyota Urban Cruiser

Voting ended onDec 8, 2023

"But wait", I hear you think because not only can I hear the sounds you make yes even the farts but also your thoughts, "what was that Discord you were referring to, does this blog have a- wait even that silent one from a minute ago?". And, setting aside the serious work your definition of 'silent' needs, yes it does!!!! Click that blue link to find out more!

Links in blue are posts of mine about the topic in question - if you liked this post, you might like those!

[2014-scion-xd]

2014 Scion XD supports Nonbinary rights

[things-about-cars-in-posts]

I love this place.

[civicposting]

I am so glad I decided to go down car tumblr to cheer myself up after coming across some anti-car posts :( (listen I completely agree that car-centric infrastructure is a bad thing but come on do you really need to act like Every Car Ever is Pure Evil? Some people have never looked into the eyes headlights of a 2001-03 Civic and felt its Love) but I digress (sorry I just discovered your blog @things-about-cars-in-posts and I love you and your ramblings and now I feel inspired to ramble myself <3)

Personally I see most cars as non-binary by default, however often they either lean towards or are masculine to me (the way I describe this to people is that I get the same feeling from looking at a car as when you see a little bug crawling on the ground and are like "look at him go! :)". They're just little guys to me :) (this ESPECIALLY applies to Honda Civics))

BUT I would like to mention a few of my friends'* cars that they deem non-binary (and I think they are completely right for it)

A *former friend of mine drove a Nissan Juke. The Juke was non-binary and used they/them pronouns.

Another (not former) friend drives a Chevrolet Spark named Trix who also is non-binary (the car, not the owner (actually wait no both the owner and car are non-binary)). Trix has auto headlights, stock Apple CarPlay... and crank/manual windows. Interesting combination of features.

And another friend drives a VW Jetta named Jenson Barbie. I don't remember Jenson's gender, but the owner/my friend refers to him with he/him pronouns usually, and often calls him "Jenny" as well. Plus the owner is also enby and his enby energy has spread to his car in my eyes. Jenny has a lot of character (is in questionable condition) and we love him for it <3

(stock photos of the same generation cars, not the exact cars (I do have pictures of the exact cars because of course I take pictures of my friends cars, I'm just too lazy to look for them right now lol))

[christianstepmoms]

I know it's a mess, but they don't make Honda sized mason jars so what do you expect?

[charl0ttan]

posting has never been lower

[seat-safety-switch]

Lots of folks own bad cars. Owning an interesting bad car, though? That's where you'll get my respect. Anyone can pick up a misfiring Infiniti G35 with the lower half of its drivers' door missing, but it's not a compelling package. Show up with a wheezing rotary-swapped MGB GT, and you can be King Shit of Beater Island for very little cash outlay.

People who aren't "into" cars like to imagine that car people all fantasize about the expensive cars. A Ferrari is pretty pricey, and flashy, and rich people drive them, but if you ask the folks I hang out with, it's not an object of desire. Sure, it would be fun to beat on for a little while until the bearings come out the top, and then swap in whatever Cuban diesel tractor engine you can find in the corner of the garage. You can't buy that from a dealership, mostly because what they are really selling you is a lifestyle.

Now, you don't need to heavily modify your car to be interesting either. Sometimes, just buying a car that nobody else has could do it. My neighbour has a Suzuki Kizashi, and if you know what that looks like without having to do a Google image search, we should probably hang out sometime. If that thing ever goes up for sale, I'm going to be over there that same day, offering an insultingly low amount of money for it. I can roll that thing up to my local burger meet and everyone will be staring at it instead of the guy with a Camaro. He's trying too hard to have a "good car," which is a moral failing.

What I'm trying to get at is this: the best way to have fun with cars is to get a fun car. Listen to that little voice in your head that tells you what to do, that you ignore all the time. Whatever mental illness and/or lifelong childhood trauma you're holding onto can be a helpful method for selecting a unique beater. And don't be afraid to just randomly show up at a used car dealership and demand to drive the first thing you see with a logo you don't recognize. Salespeople think in brands, and being ignorant of the very concept of brands weakens them deeply. Then you can get a pretty good deal. I'll wave and give you that little half-nod when you're broken down on the side of the road. I'd stop, but my brakes don't work.

[bewbin]

you were born in 2006? what are you? a Honda Civic?

[2006-honda-civic]

can i fucking help you?

[seat-safety-switch]

Television news is doomed, really. Virtually none of the people who get their information from this perverted column will watch a television news program today. If they do, they do so only under duress, or accidentally while waiting for an airplane, or in the lobby of their dealer's condo building. That's why it's time for television news to refocus on what really matters.

Politics are fun, if you're the kind of person who has fun with politics. Sports? That's just politics with burlier men. Stocks? You don't know what a stock is. National news? Here's your headline: bad things happen to good people, nobody can stop it. Local news? Don't make me laugh. If you still have any reporters in your town, they're covering the local cat fair instead of the important stuff.

Important stuff, you ask? Of course. It's what you've always known is important in your life: junkyard reports. Sure, nowadays you can sign up to get pinged whenever the Pick-Your-Part gets in a new Camaro, but how do you really know what condition that is in? Now that we've bought CNN, you'll hear all about it the second it drops off the forklift.

Finally, the 24-hour news cycle has real news for the whole 24 hours! There's junkyards all over the planet. A Polara hitting the ground in Arkansas will get quickly reviewed for transmission and final drive ratio, and then a few hours later we'll be covering the hottest Corolla IIs to flirt with the crusher in Fukuoka. That's the real dream of the media: relevant information for the common person, like you.

Sure, there are some downsides. We won't be able to cover the formerly boring kinds of news, if you're that kind of person. Honestly, though, that stuff was just stressing you out anyway. Why cheer for the Green Bay Packers when you can get excited about a Green Bay Packard? That 3-speed will go great in your weekend hot rod project. You just have to compete with the rest of our viewership for it, which brings us to how we're going to make money: CNN Junkyard Report, But Five Minutes Earlier Than Everyone Else Gets.

[fuzzyghost]

[noosferik]

You've certainly heard this tossed around as a fun fact before, maybe you've dismissed it as a joke... But it's actually 100% true. The tanned hide of an animal stretched over a car seat imbues the vehicle with the respective animus, hence cars have such distinct temperaments.... Having found this out from a friend of an uncle on facebook marketplace, for weeks I fashioned my bespoke car seats from dog leather, yes, dog leather, there are now a couple dozen laika spirits bound to this honda civic. Nowhere will you find another car as loyal to its master. So no, I did not "randomly" swerve out of the lane officer. Fuck you.

[civicposting]

This is true however it's worth mentioning that a Honda Civic is an extremely loyal car by default. Source: mine has cloth seats and it only "randomly" swerves out of lanes when I tell it to!

[civicposting]

Okay wait i need to share some of the tags on this post because I love them

(RIP to El Scrapo btw 😔 @mindcool25 )

[noosferik]

You've certainly heard this tossed around as a fun fact before, maybe you've dismissed it as a joke... But it's actually 100% true. The tanned hide of an animal stretched over a car seat imbues the vehicle with the respective animus, hence cars have such distinct temperaments.... Having found this out from a friend of an uncle on facebook marketplace, for weeks I fashioned my bespoke car seats from dog leather, yes, dog leather, there are now a couple dozen laika spirits bound to this honda civic. Nowhere will you find another car as loyal to its master. So no, I did not "randomly" swerve out of the lane officer. Fuck you.

[civicposting]

This is true however it's worth mentioning that a Honda Civic is an extremely loyal car by default. Source: mine has cloth seats and it only "randomly" swerves out of lanes when I tell it to!

[cikero]

I LOVE DRIVING SAFELY AND MAKING SURE PEDESTRIANS AND CYCLISTS ARE SAFE BECAUSE I KNOW IM DRIVING A 2800 LB DEATH MACHINE AND THEY ARE JUST PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[one-time-i-dreamt]

There was a specific chain of malls in America that were known for their “drive-through buffet”.

[one-time-i-dreamt]

Intrigued and obsessed by the concept of a drive-through buffet

[sammythekidd]

[coldswarkids]

I want you all to imagine with me, if you will, what I witnessed today.

McDonalds parking lot. teenage boy. giant polished white ford Tundra. windows down. blasting. I mean BLASTING. Beethoven's moonlight sonata. boy demolishing burger.

[domina-honoribila]

White Boy Summer

[berandomness]

Ford F150 or toyota tundra? this is a critical clarification. I need to categorize this white boy by truck and the ford tundra doesn't exiiiiiiiiiiist!!!!!

[civicposting]

THANK YOU I immediately had the same thought and had to make sure I wasnt alone

[thebirdtm]

look at my car. look at him now. his name is kurculion. the engine bay is deeply crusted over with oil from a long term oil leak. he is disgusting. god can't kill him if they tried. one time i unplugged a wiring harness and forgot to plug it back in and the engine sounded like it had rocks in it. i plugged it back in and he was fine because he's self-healing. there is dirt, rocks, and one pink screwdriver shoved into places that you nor i can even imagine at this point. i love him

[ceasarslegion]

Every trans person i know who drives including me drives a toyota. The T in LGBT stands for Toyota i guess

[ceasarslegion]

Subaru is the lesbian car

Toyota is the transgender car

Gays, bisexuals, queers, asexuals, and intersex people are yet to be determined. If you are any of these the first one of you who comments with what car they drive that isnt a toyota or Subaru will decide what your sexualitys car is based entirely on my need to make a stupid joke post.

[ceasarslegion]

Someone already said Honda is the gay car so I will create my predictions based on that

L stands for Subaru. Historical basis in Subaru being the place that lesbians knew they were welcomed in

G stands for Honda. Because thebirdtm drives a Honda civic and commented first

B stands for Volkswagen. Idk Volkswagen has a bisexual vibe. The beetle, the hippie van, etc.

T stands for Toyota. Because every trans person i know including me drives some shitty toyota that's beat up and rusty but just refuses to die and could go on a 5k road trip tomorrow. Much like the transgender spirit

Q stands for Lexus. Sleek, shiny. The luxury car for the everyman. Much like how the queer label is the luxury that everybody in the community deserves.

I stands for jeep. Often misunderstood. Reliable and sturdy if treated right. The reason people kill jeeps so often is because they dont understand their specialized needs that cant be applied to every other car brand. If taken care of properly they will be as unkillable as a toyota.

A stands for Volvo. Idk much like the Volkswagen it just has the asexual swag. To me. My ace friends who drive drive a Chevy and a Honda respectively but one lives in the country ass end of nowhere and Honda was already taken. I think they deserve volvos

[ceasarslegion]

"But what do the cis straights drive?" Ford.

[introvertedx10]

They must really love Chili's