Why @clairesatoms - Tumblr Blog

i love little kids with very niche interests. Like for awhile I nannied for a family who had a little girl who loved old black and white movies. She adopted a transatlantic accent, constantly wore a long string of plastic pearls, and would often dramatically drape herself over pieces of furniture when told to do something and say “I just can’t do it babe”

dare-i-say-asexual

i once dropped her stuffed animal and she yelled “there’s been a murder!”

inkdot-deactivated20200219

no shit.

This weekend I was told a story which, although I’m kind of ashamed to admit it, because holy shit is it ever obvious, is kind of blowing my mind.

A friend of a friend won a free consultation with Clinton Kelly of What Not To Wear, and she was very excited, because she has a plus-size body, and wanted some tips on how to make the most of her wardrobe in a fashion culture which deliberately puts her body at a disadvantage.

Her first question for him was this: how do celebrities make a plain white t-shirt and a pair of weekend jeans look chic? She always assumed it was because so many celebrities have, by nature or by design, very slender frames, and because they can afford very expensive clothing. But when she watched What Not To Wear, she noticed that women of all sizes ended up in cute clothes that really fit their bodies and looked great. She had tried to apply some guidelines from the show into her own wardrobe, but with only mixed success. So - what gives?

His answer was that everything you will ever see on a celebrity’s body, including their outfits when they’re out and about and they just get caught by a paparazzo, has been tailored, and the same goes for everything on What Not To Wear. Jeans, blazers, dresses - everything right down to plain t-shirts and camisoles. He pointed out that historically, up until the last few generations, the vast majority of people either made their own clothing or had their clothing made by tailors and seamstresses. You had your clothing made to accommodate the measurements of your individual body, and then you moved the fuck on. Nothing on the show or in People magazine is off the rack and unaltered. He said that what they do is ignore the actual size numbers on the tags, find something that fits an individual’s widest place, and then have it completely altered to fit. That’s how celebrities have jeans that magically fit them all over, and the rest of us chumps can’t ever find a pair that doesn’t gape here or ride up or slouch down or have about four yards of extra fabric here and there.

I knew that having dresses and blazers altered was probably something they were doing, but to me, having alterations done generally means having my jeans hemmed and then simply living with the fact that I will always be adjusting my clothing while I’m wearing it because I have curves from here to ya-ya, some things don’t fit right, and the world is just unfair that way. I didn’t think that having everything tailored was something that people did.

It’s so obvious, I can’t believe I didn’t know this. But no one ever told me. I was told about bikini season and dieting and targeting your “problem areas” and avoiding horizontal stripes. No one told me that Jennifer Aniston is out there wearing a bigger size of Ralph Lauren t-shirt and having it altered to fit her.

I sat there after I was told this story, and I really thought about how hard I have worked not to care about the number or the letter on the tag of my clothes, how hard I have tried to just love my body the way it is, and where I’ve succeeded and failed. I thought about all the times I’ve stood in a fitting room and stared up at the lights and bit my lip so hard it bled, just to keep myself from crying about how nothing fits the way it’s supposed to. No one told me that it wasn’t supposed to. I guess I just didn’t know. I was too busy thinking that I was the one that didn’t fit.

I thought about that, and about all the other girls and women out there whose proportions are “wrong,” who can’t find a good pair of work trousers, who can’t fill a sweater, who feel excluded and freakish and sad and frustrated because they have to go up a size, when really the size doesn’t mean anything and it never, ever did, and this is just another bullshit thing thrown in your path to make you feel shitty about yourself.

I thought about all of that, and then I thought that in elementary school, there should be a class for girls where they sit you down and tell you this stuff before you waste years of your life feeling like someone put you together wrong.

So, I have to take that and sit with it for a while. But in the meantime, I thought perhaps I should post this, because maybe my friend, her friend, and I are the only clueless people who did not realise this, but maybe we’re not. Maybe some of you have tried to embrace the arbitrary size you are, but still couldn’t find a cute pair of jeans, and didn’t know why.

weavemama

the only good thing about trump supporters is how easy it is to drag them with the simplest fact

paigemist

the greatest plan in history

formorrow-sur

unclefather

smfih

j7eternal-deactivated20180402

THIS!!!!!!!

liloloveyou024

I think Bo Burnham put it best

(From God’s Perspective (x))

chokkilissa-nahollos

you know what? go to your local library.

nobody cares if you just want to read Twitter with the free wifi. in fact we’re ecstatic you’re there.

don’t be afraid to touch the books. hell, taking them off the shelf and leaving them on shelving carts is one of the main ways the library counts usage and foot traffic, so don’t reshelve them yourself and don’t be afraid of looking at them!

most libraries now allow covered drinks, and many have special areas where you’re allowed to bring something to eat. have your lunch there, it’s quiet!

lovely large tables for crafts or art? they have you covered!

magazines and periodicals so you can read the newest events or pick up a new recipe? check!

you can even just watch a DVD if you have the appropriate portable screen and courtesy headphones.

GO to the library. LOVE the library. USE the library. you already paid for it!!

metal-queer-solid

This is by far the greatest thing I’ve found in a junkyard.

So about a year ago me and my friend Nathan were walking around the “Pick-a-Part” in Clarksville Tennessee… We were searching for car badges and a spoiler to put on his trashy conversion van. While going through the lot we found what is probably the single greatest car to ever drive on any road in the world.

You are looking at… a Dora the Explorer themed gangster car… I’ve seen spongebob themed cars, Newport themed cars, sports team themed cars, but THIS.

trumps them all.

OH BUT IT GETS SO MUCH BETTER!!!!

You see… there has to be a reason that a car like this…

Would end up in the junkyard… SO me and Nathan did some looking around and tried to figure out why…

I still can’t believe the decals on this…. wait…

HOLD ON ONE FUCKING SECOND!

OH!

OH MY FUCKING GOD!

YES! SOMEONE ACTUALLY GOT SHOT WHILE DRIVING THEIR DORA THE EXPLORER CAR IN CLARKSVILLE TENNESSEE!

And THAT, is the single greatest thing I’ve found in a junkyard to this day.

vracious

okay this is totally wild but i RECOGNIZE THIS CAR

and i actually have a picture of it from its functioning days - this is dated 2012 -

parked in front of an adult store!

jewishprincess-deactivated20220

Dark tumblr show me the history of this car

i-homeostasis

dude seeing these Mega high quality images of the surface of mars that we now have has me fucked up. Like. Mars is a place. mars is a real actual place where one could hypothetically stand. It is a physical place in the universe. ITS JUST OUT THERE LOOKING LIKE UH IDK A REGULAR OLD DESERT WITH LOTS OF ROCKS BUT ITS A WHOLE OTHER PLANET?

i-homeostasis

LIKE THIS JUST LOOKS LIKE IT COULD BE A PERSON’S BACKYARD. LIKE YEA A LITTLE DUSTY MAYBE THERE WAS A SANDSTORM BUT THAT’S COOL I’M JUST GONNA WALK DOWN TO THE STORE P S Y C H YOU’RE ON MARS BICH!

schro-dingus-deactivated2023030

i hate to be rude and intrude on this post but we have decent pictures of the surface Venus too!

jumpingjacktrash

#venus has a low render distance

thecraftychemist

See also below Saturn’s moon, Titan. Mars has a blue horizon at sunset so it looks even more Earth-like in this image:

Source

Also: Comet 67P/Churyumov–Gerasimenko

sixpenceee

richardalexanderrr

frozen grape dipped in chilled water

demonicalamari

Forbidden dandelion

homo-nerd-grizz

stability

mightymargaretofanjou

Y'all can keep at it with that “Romeo and Juliet fell in love in five days how immature” shiz but Macbeth went from no murder to yes murder in like one afternoon and I feel like one of those is a significantly bigger problem than the other

frankie-steins-leg

In his defense his wife triple dog dared him and called him a pussy

vittyyluvscookies

Am I wet? Am I on my period? Did I pee my pants?- next on wtf is going on down there.

submissivefeminist

I’m so glad this is a universal wondering among vagina-owners, haha.

chaotichowlite

‘Vagina-owners’

anxiousnerd

Tune in next time for: Are these menstrual cramps? Am I pregnant? Is it just gas? I wouldn’t have to ask these questions if I didn’t have a damn uterus

sexylibrarian1

Next week: Is it a bladder infection? An ovarian cyst? Do I have endometriosis? Oh God please do not let it be cervical cancer! A 20/20 special

occupyvenus

Y'all are forgetting the all-time classic: Is it just my period or is my appendix about to burst? Some nice tea and a heatpack or 911 and emergency surgery?

phantoms-lair

There is actually a test for that last one!

Place your hand over the pain, press down slightly and release. If the pain doesn’t change by any great margin, you’re fine. If it suddenly becomes some painful you can barely stand, Get thee to an Emergency Room

taysweetbae

reblog for the safety of vaginas and their owners

greedyagain

The appendix test works with or without a vagina so reblogging for everyone.

violetwolfraven

So I just had a thought

What if supernatural creatures don’t exist anymore? What if they did once, but through the years, they slowly mixed in with humans?

You can see the blood of fairies in the way a ballet dancer hovers in mid air before he or she hits the ground. You can see it in the way that middle school girl never forgets when someone makes her a promise. You can see it in how that one little boy in the kindergarten class seems more comfortable in the forest on that field trip than the others.

You can see the blood of dryads in hikers who never trip over roots. You can see it in that suburban grandmother never lets any of her garden die. You can see it in that one kid who climbs a tree faster than his friends, barely looking at the branches as he goes.

You can see the blood of naiads in the way a professional swimmer seems to command the water to help them. You can see it in how a cross country runner needs a water break more often than his teammates. You can see it in the way that one girl in your class always has a water bottle on her desk.

You can see the blood of mermaids in a surfer who can be tossed around underwater for a long time without drowning. You can see it in a teenage boy who doesn’t have to pretend to be unbothered by the pressure when he races his friends to the bottom of a swimming pool. You can see it in the little girl who wades into every stream she sees on a hike without quite knowing why.

You can see the blood of sirens in people who never have a problem with getting people to date them. You can see it in that soprano who can hit notes most of her fellows can only dream of. You can see it in the camp counselor who all the straight girls have a crush on, who can play guitar and sing better than any of the others.

You can see the blood of shapeshifters in the way an actor adjusts their personality to become their character with scary accuracy. You can see it in the subconscious, barely noticeable changes a tween girl’s eyes make to match her outfit better. You can see it in the way you always lose that one friend in a crowd if you’re not careful, because he’s just too good at blending in.

People who carry the blood of werewolves don’t change with the full moon anymore, but you can still see it in the way your best friend always knows something is wrong, though even they don’t know they’re smelling the changes in your body chemistry. You can see it in the way that one guy always seems to eat more than the reasonable amount of red meat at an all-you-can-eat buffet. You can see it in the way that one werido never has a problem when the teacher turns off the lights before a PowerPoint presentation because her eyes adjust quicker and better than yours.

The blood of supernatural creatures may have mostly faded away. But if you look closely, you can still see it.

krablord

So I found a site that does a subscription box for your period- it sends you basics like hygiene products, pain medication as well as snacks and pampering stuff to make you feel good,

but the best thing is they have a specialty boxes, like vegan or kosher only snacks but also

they specifically offer boxes for menstruating guys and nb folks.

which is pretty darn cool.

it’s called bonjourjolie and I think it’s 1000% awesome tbh

sketchthetrees-blog

i think this is the best thing omf

writerpyre

@mygenderadventures, don’t know if this is content you’d put on your blog, but I think this is fantastic.

mygenderadventures

I don’t tend to post non-art stuff but thanks for the shout-out anyway!!! I’m sure this will be of interest to a few people here :)

yournewapartment

This is such an exciting thing!!

Please don’t read the comments, some people are so embarrassingly uneducated and cruel. YNA supports our trans and nonbinary followers! ❤️❤️

mylegendaryquotes-deactivated20

Whoever came up with this idea is just awesome. They really take their costumers’ diets into account, like there’s so many options. Look at all this

And if they still don’t have a box to accommodate your needs, you can even order special items and ask for a box that doesn’t have anything you’re allergic to in it

Not to mention how amazing this is

I hope this service might help some of you guys

rockin-reaper

I dont know too much about Dalmatians or what they were bred for so the other day i was talking to the security guard on campus about em and decided to google why they’re so aggressive and hard to handle and apparently its because they were bread as coach dogs, which means that they were trained to run alongside a coach or carriage and fucking attack anything that wasn’t their carriage. Like they were bonded to the horses used to pull the coach and to their handlers and other than that they would just jump anyone who came near em. If you had coach dogs you actually had to have someone who rode ahead and warned anyone coming toward you that you had coach dogs so they could move out of the way and not get attacked. So thats a mystery solved for me.

huskychronicles

That’s fuckin wild I had no idea

rockin-reaper

*me, a Regency-era noble, displaying my wealth and status by releasing a large pack of dalmatians onto the street* fuck it up, boys

ordinarytalk

I grew up with dalmatians and yeah, they can be territorial if they’re not socialized and holy shit do they have so much energy, but.

But.

The best interaction I ever saw was the time my dog Maggie first met a horse. She was running around outside and some guy was riding a horse down our street because fuck it, I have a horse, I do what I want.

Maggie screeched to a halt, staring at the horse. I began running over there because I wasn’t sure if she was going to start barking or trying to chase it or what, and then I saw her whole body language sort of shift, like hundreds of years of selective breeding were making themselves known for the first time.

Her tail began wagging, very slowly. I could see her think, “Big…friend?” She got closer and her tail began wagging faster. “Big Friend!!” She began absolutely dancing around this horse, I have never seen her so happy.

She ran next to the horse for as long as I would let her (the rider thought it was hilarious), and she was incredibly disappointed when her Big Friend had to go home.

And that’s the story of how I tried to convince my mom we needed a horse for my dog.

rockin-reaper

That’s the best story I’ve ever heard

LET MAGGIE HAVE A HORSE