Attacking you based on your favourite midnights track <3
You hate gossip but somehow still end up in the middle of it. It. wasn’t. your. fault. You want a love that feels quiet and safe so badly you’ve totally forgotten how to accept any other form of affection. That’s a hard way to live bestie :/
You never let it show, but you are always stressed - about whether your friends hate you, about whether they’d have stayed if you just said something differently. You constantly feel blue (ironic because Red tv is your favourite album)
When was the last time someone hugged you? You exude confidence yes, but you don’t actually feel it. You constantly feel too much, like you're the overbearing side character in someone’s story; that when they get rid of you the audience will cheer. How can something so frail ever really be whole?
You’re a dreamer above all else. You constantly dream up the perfect life, the perfect love. You find comfort in that. That may be a good way not to get hurt, but not an easy way to live jaan :/
You hate asking for help, which is ironic; because you always wonder how far along you’d be if someone had just…offered to help you when you were little. You were (are) a kid. You’re not gonna quit, mama didn’t raise a quitter - though she did raise a burnt out perfectionist who will settle for mediocrity.
You had big plans, you were gonna be living in the big old city by now right? How’d they turn out? The burnt out Evelyn Hugo gentlemen. You pushed away everyone who didn’t line up with your one goal; and it hurts now to see that they’re doing better without you, while you’re so lonely.
You’re the overprotective mom friend in the group, you won’t stand anyone bad mouthing the girls but it takes everything in you not to cry while getting your point across. You like to reminisce on old novelties, it’s not a bad way to live. But you do know that life only moves forwards right?
You’re a reputation girl above all else, you’re a girl who believes in love at first sight, you are a self destructive girl, you want a love that feels quiet and safe so badly it hurts. You need to have the last word in a conversation. You are secretly sensitive but can’t let that show, you’re a girl who can’t leave the house without eyeliner on. Wonder what that says about you?
It takes 13 compliments to make you believe you’re shimmering but only one arrogant comment to make it all go away. You try to exude confidence but people don’t see how you are being so brave about everything. You do realise you can let it out once in a while right? It’s not a crime to feel things.
You feel unworthy of love but that is also the only thing you want. You’re definitely a hopeless romantic, and you can never shut up about things you find passionate, but then you look up and realise no one was listening. You feel like there is something intrinsically wrong with you, I wish I could tell you there isn’t.
You say you like to “live in the moment” but you feel terrified that this is all you have, and that after these couple of golden years your life will just be a slump. You keep choosing the life of the party thinking it’ll work itself out thinking “what’s meant to be will be”. I hope you’re right.
You find it difficult to formulate words, there is so much going on inside you but you can never get it out. Though, ironically, you love words. “For how much I loved words, it was surprising how often they failed me” you tell me. Just praying when the time comes you’ll know what to say.
You feel like you have so much to offer, you are smart and creative but not in a neurotypical manner. But you always feel like an outcast in friend groups. You may have even been in love a few times (with fictional characters of course) but you still feel like you haven’t (won’t) find your place in this world.
You try to be comforting but you have a tendency to lash out unnecessarily when you think someone is going to hurt you - so you hurt them first. That’s not very nice bestie. You feel like the road ahead of you is too long, you’re sick of fighting. Well buckle up, there’s still a long way to go.
Bigger than the whole sky
You try to be resilient and optimistic but it only takes one snarky comment to make you cry yourself to sleep. You reminisce on old memories, thinking about what could’ve, should’ve, would’ve been and you can’t help but picture a different - a better life. Anywhere but here.
You love adventure, your love language is quality time, and somehow no matter how much you try; neither fulfils you. You are the social butterfly that no one really got to know personally, you're fun in a group but can’t hold eye contact for the life of you.
You’ve made your fair share of mistakes, but you still desperately want to be wanted. You fell like you are always too hard on yourself, you never forgive yourself for hurting somebody even if they forgave you. That is a hard line to walk my love.
You tend to lean into your reckless spontaneity, pushing away every shroud of feeling thinking if you don’t feel them they won’t bother you. But it’s okay to feel things jaan i promise it won’t kill ya.
Would’ve, Could’ve, Should’ve
I know you don’t hear this often but: I’m proud of you. You’ve been through so much; and all your morrose dad leaving and trauma dumping jokes are your way of expressing yourself (or whatever self survived anyway). What happened to you wasn’t your fault, you do know that right?
Hello therapist friend who objectively gives good advice but has never once followed their own advice, how are we doing today? You DO realise taking on everyone else’s burdens without laying down your own isn’t healthy right? Yea okay just checking.
snowghoul
annaxmalina
theartofmadeline
pixelskylines
2087
stormborns
