Untitled @clearlemon - Tumblr Blog

Every night you dream that you talk to a genie, when you wake up you can't remember what you wished for. One morning you wake up with a giant crab pincer replacing your right arm. What do you do?

Get an eye patch and join a ship

#show and tell time #show and tell #satt #satt-prompt #satt-writing-prompt #satt-genie

txttletale

if we’ve been mutuals for long enough i don’t even care what you post anymore. if one of my mutuals of two years suddenly gets really into competitive caber toss i just accept zenlike that half my dash is going to be gifsets of burly men hefting logs forever now. i adapt to all online conditions like an animal with high toxicity tolerance

tsuquilisda

i love being friends with bitches who won’t shut up. i never know what to talk about. please tell me your whole life story and then infodump to me about warrior cats or greek history

ozhawkauthor

The Three Laws of Fandom

If you wish to take part in any fandom, you need to accept and respect these three laws.

If you aren’t able to do that, then you need to realise that your actions are making fandom unsafe for creators. That you are stifling creativity.

Like vaccination, fandom only works if everyone respects these rules. Creators need to be free to make their fanart, fanfics and all other content without fear of being harassed or concern-trolled for their creative choices, no matter whether you happen to like that content or not.

The First Law of Fandom

Don’t Like; Don’t Read (DL;DR)

It is up to you what you see online. It is not anyone else’s place to tell you what you should or should not consume in terms of content; it is not up to anyone else to police the internet so that you do not see things you do not like. At the same time, it is not up to YOU to police fandom to protect yourself or anyone else, real or hypothetical.

There are tools out there to help protect you if you have triggers or squicks. Learn to use them, and to take care of your own mental health. If you are consuming fan-made content and you find that you are disliking it - STOP.

The Second Law of Fandom

Your Kink Is Not My Kink (YKINMK)

Simply put, this means that everyone likes different things. It’s not up to you to determine what creators are allowed to create. It’s not up to you to police fandom.

If you don’t like something, you can post meta about it or create contrarian content yourself, seek to convert other fans to your way of thinking.

But you have no right to say to any creator “I do not like this, therefore you should not create it. Nobody should like this. It should not exist.”

It’s not up to you to decide what other people are allowed to like or not like, to create or not to create. That’s censorship. Don’t do it.

The Third Law of Fandom

Ship And Let Ship (SALS)

Much (though not all) fandom is about shipping. There are as many possible ships as there are fans, maybe more. You may have an OTP (One True Pairing), you may have a NOTP, that pairing that makes you want to barf at the very thought of its existence.

It’s not up to you to police ships or to determine what other people are allowed to ship. Just because you find that one particular ship problematic or disgusting, does not mean that other people are not allowed to explore its possibilities in their fanworks.

You are free to create contrarian content, to write meta about why a particular ship is repulsive, to discuss it endlessly on your private blog with like-minded persons.

It is not appropriate to harass creators about their ships, it is not appropriate to demand they do not create any more fanworks about those ships, or that they create fanwork only in a manner that you deem appropriate.

These three laws add up to the following:

You are not paying for fanworks content, and you have no rights to it other than to choose to consume it, or not consume it. If you do choose to consume it, do not then attack the creator if it wasn’t to your taste. That’s the height of bad manners.

Be courteous in fandom. It makes the whole experience better for all of us.

ekbelsher

Truer words were never written.

wilwheaton

Well THAT was fucking awesome!!!!

I couldn't help but tear up at the description of the funeral procession

Thank you so much!

That was one of the most satisfying and enjoyable performances I've done in my entire career.

neil-gaiman

It’s really stunning. When it came to casting Brant Tucker I knew I needed someone who could act, and narrate, and narrate while acting. The Worlds’ End storyline relies completely on whether or not he can pull off the final description of the procession and make you believe it. I thought of Wil first, asked him, and then spent about 18 months hoping he’d pulled it off as well as I had hoped he would. He did.

1968bullittmustang

I love this so much! Even as it feels vaguely like tumblr nepotism, it also seems supremely just!

Serious congrats to you both!

neil-gaiman

If it's anything, it's nepotism from a long dead bulletin board called GEnie. When I turned up there in 1992 (I'd just moved to the US. You couldn't get into GEnie from the UK) I joined the SF Forum. I looked in the comics Forum and saw that there was a Sandman discussion topic thread, started a few years earlier by ROQ LOBSTER (if I remember correctly). That was Wil. So I knew he existed and was a Sandman fan back then. And when I met Roger Avary he sent me a film he'd made called Mr Stitch, that Wil starred in. And after that we had blogs at the same time, and I wrote the original introduction to Wil's book Just a Geek, because he asked. So the Tumblr connection at this point is almost incidental. I like that we use Tumblr in different ways, too.

lets have phone sex over walkie talkies

rninor-blog

“bend over” “bend what? over”

I hate this place

People who try to tell me things are ‘not that deep’ fundamentally misunderstand me, I am not a fish desperately in search of the ocean, I am a magpie that roves the canons, searching for shiny things to put in my nest. Whether or not it actually is given deep narrative weight by canon itself is of secondary importance to the fact that it has the potential to be interesting, and thus, I covet it.

tailornorata

“It’s not that deep”

Maybe not originally, but the ground is soft and I’m ready to dig.

copperbadge

“The ground is soft and I’m ready to dig” is the best description of the fanfic attitude I’ve ever seen.

recoveryforray

@shitpostsampler

shitpostsampler

thechekhov

So I gotta confess, several years ago I was very malicious towards the LGBT and Gender Identity. It wasn’t until I became close friends with someone who identified as non-binary that I tried to be more tolerant for their sake. But the truth is I simply cannot be accepting to people I cannot understand.

Like I understand Lesbians, Homosexuals, and Bisexuals they simply have an attraction towards a gender. But for the life of me I cannot grasp my head around transgender, gender neutral, non-binary, agender, pangender, genderqueer, two-spirit, or third gender. I cannot understand why people would feel uncomfortable with their born gender are and why they so desperately want to be something else. I can understand the Intersex, they didn’t have a choice in the matter. But I really want to understand, I really really want to.

Please explain this to me! It’s eating me up inside and I want to understand for my friend’s sake!

(My own personal explanation of non-binary identity, with a fun little Imagine This As A Metaphor in the middle)

(What Is A Social Construct, and Why Is Gender Socially Negotiated Instead of Biologically Inherent)

Trans-cript under the cut (haha, geddit, trans-cript? Because-- haha... nevermind.)

When you get this you have to answer with 5 things u like about yourself, publicly. Then, send this ask to 10 of your favorite followers (non-negotiable, positivity is cool)📷📷

Things I like about myself:

1. My kids

2. Sense of humor

3. My legs

4. My taste in movies: Dark humor

5. My friends

streetlifemanifesto

Don’t trust morning you. Morning you is a dick. Morning you would sell your loved ones if it got them 5 minutes of extra sleep

sarapsys

maybe morning me wouldn’t be such a dick if that flaky bitch evening me had gone to bed instead of tumblring til butts oclock int he morning

bigmouthlass

Well evening me might have fallen asleep at a reasonable hour if that dumbass afternoon me hadn’t lain down for a “little nap” that lasted four hours.

bane-of-technology

kyoki777-deactivated20221113

Now accepting prompts. Can be an idea, a word, a song you want me to listen to. Maybe a quote?

Any pairing you want though feeling tomione

clearlemon

Hermione wakes up from a nightmare. It turns out all the events of the series were a fever dream with her boyfriend being the villain since all of her friends think he's suspiciously too perfect.

falsedetective

my grandparents have to lock their car doors when they go to sunday mass because people have been breaking in to unlocked cars and leaving entire piles of zucchini

falsedetective

i feel like i should’ve added more context when i posted this. my grandparents live in a rural area where farmers and casual gardeners alike are, at this point in the year, suddenly being hit with unexpectedly abundant zucchini crops. there aren’t just some random vandals leaving zucchinis in people’s cars for the hell of it, this is the work of some very exasperated, probably very elderly, folks who have more zucchini than they know what to do with

thegreenwolf

Yep. You can also expect to find a bag of zucchini on your porch.

abwatt

My grandfather once found his neighbor stealing his tomatoes out of his garden at three in the morning. Red-handed, with a basket of the nearly-ripened ones. He thought he was going to find gophers or something, but no, here’s Henry, taking his tomatoes. The best ones.

There was a long pause between them.

My grandfather (allegedly) said, “Henry… it’s OK. You can take some tomatoes if you want them.”

Henry sighed in relief.

“But,” my grandfather said, “you have to take two zucchini for every tomato.”

There was another long silence. “That’s a harsh bargain, John,” said Henry. “But I accept. I’ll tell Joe up the street, too.”

My grandfather said, “Tell Joe he needs to take three.”

ladypandacat

a friend of my dad’s came by in the middle of the night, he seemed very nervous when my dad answered the door. he wouldn’t come inside but he leaned in and whispered to my dad in spanish, “i have some fresh grapes for you.” and then this happened:

the melon was a special bonus.

angeliccelestine-deactivated201

MY DREAM

dragoneyes

A friend of mine lives in a rural area and he has been surrounded by zucchini for most of May, June, and July.

At one point he was so done with the whole zucchini madness that he came to classes actively begging people to “Please please please!! Take some my family’s damned zucchini!! I’ve been eating zucchini for weeks!! I’m going insane!!!”

kynthaworld

Having grown up in a rural area and having come home to zucchini on the front step or in the mailbox, i find it highly amusing the OP had to clarify. I’m sitting here nodding “yup.”

costumersupportdept

I have a friend with a garden in Oregon who literally made Zucchini Chocolate Chip Cookies and sent them to me in Indiana. I texted her back “I SEE WHAT YOU’RE DOING HERE”

ash-of-the-loam

I’m waiting for the day when someone will hear about my background in Botany and ask me for advice on what someone who’s just wanting to start exploring planting vegetables should try.

I know fuckall about gardening because my background is wild plants and not agriculture, but I’m gonna tell them

“Zucchini. Definitely try Zucchini. Just plant plenty of them and you’ll get a decent sized crop! They’re very rewarding to grow.”

It may be a bit of a long game, but I’ll enjoy their screams of despair from across the void as they realize that they will eat zucchini forever

deadmomjokes

This is NOT an exaggeration, guys. Zucchini (and most squashes, really) will outgrow you so fast. Let our tale be a caution– or an encouragement, whichever. You decide as you hear the story of Squish.

When we were so broke we had to choose between gas and store-bought-food (I think I was about 10?), we had a garden so we could eat regularly (we also had chickens and pigs and hunted, but that’s beside this point). One summer, we planted 6 rows of yellow squash and 6 rows of zucchini. Each row probably had 10, maybe 12 plants in it. We created this giant squash-block in our garden plot so it was all right there together in the middle, and the needier plants like tomatoes were on the outside of the whole plot. We thought we were clever, til the first crop started coming in.

The outside two rows of each squash, yellow and zucchini, were normal. High yield, of course (because squash), but standard size for both summer squash and Italian zucchini. The inner 8 rows, however, created this hybrid monstrosity that we called Squish. It was pretty– a nice swirly yellow and green combination that made it clear the squash and zucchini had interbred.

Squish became a living nightmare for us. Something about the hybridization caused them to forget how to stop growing, or at least how to grow at a normal rate because those suckers were longer than my dad’s forearm, and bigger around than my (albeit child-sized) thighs. They didn’t get all hard and nasty on the inside, either, for some reason, like most squash will at that size. And they just kept coming. I don’t even remember seeing that many flowers, but every day we were pulling upwards of 20lbs of Squish out of the garden, only for there to be more the next day, or sometimes by the end of the day if we harvested in the morning. I don’t know where they were hiding, but it was like some sort of squash portal had opened into our yard and started crapping out Frankenstein’s Squashes.

At first, it was great. We could eat all we wanted and not worry about rationing it. But the growing season in Arkansas is long, and we had incredible weather that summer, so those darn things kept alternating flowers and fruit. Pull off a few Squish, new flowers budded out, and they ripened super-fast in the heat. We were absolutely swimming in Squish, because they were so big that even gorging on them meant only 1 or 2 got eaten per meal. (I think I recall using a few particularly enormous ones as swords for a duel with my sister, if that says anything about their size. I cannot overemphasize how absolutely, heinously gigantic they were. You probably don’t believe me but I am not kidding. Those things were bigger than a newborn by several many inches and a couple pounds.)

We had (luckily) a big deep freezer, and someone gifted us a bunch of freezer ziploc bags, so we started chopping them up and freezing them as we pulled them off. We ran out of bags real fast, so we caved and bought a ton more. We filled that deep freezer near to bursting. It was probably 3-4 feet deep, (as I remember barely coming up to the edge of it), and at least 4-5 feet long, about 2.5 feet across, and we filled it to the top with Squish. And that’s while we’re eating fresh ones every day with dinner! But still more Squish came before the first frost, so we started packing the fridge. And my grandma’s freezer. And my grandma’s fridge. And feeding them to the pigs and chickens. And giving them away at church.

Do you realize how big a deal it is that people who were so broke that they had to choose between gas and the power bill were GIVING AWAY FOOD??? That’s how much gosh darn Squish we had. And little did I know, but apparently, my dad HATES squash. He only planted them because they were a cheap, quick source of food and my mom loved squashes. And he got stuck with the folly of his decisions. For over a year.

Yep. We had Squish in the freezer for over a year. Eating it regularly. It lasted for over a year. A family of 5, plus often feeding my grandmother, we ate off a single garden’s haul for over a year. Of just the Squish. I tell you, if we’d had a farmer’s market back then, that Squish could probably have single-handedly lifted us out of poverty. Well, maybe not, but you get the idea.

We never planted both again, probably because my dad would have combusted out of rage if he’d ever seen another Squish in his life. But man those were the days for thems of us what loved squash.

So survival tip: If you need an absolute crapton of food, plant you a row of yellow squash and a row of zucchini, and keep that pattern going for as many rows as you like. You too can drown in Squish and love it.

vibropulse

Oh wow.

stimblegrime1

The last story is well worth the read. It might be long but I found it absolutely delightful! Thank you for sharing your childhood Squish gardening adventures!

thunderandthugnificence

Meanwhile, people are starving to death.

gothvegas

Ands What do you expect poor rural farmers who just have excess zucchini to do about that exactly? Mail them to Africa?

elodieunderglass

I was just talking to a friend today about gardening and she said “I’ll plant zucchini for this project.”

“Oh dear… what’s your damage control plan?”

“Oh,” she said, intuiting what I meant. “Eating the blossoms. Love stuffed blossoms. Pumpkin, squash, zucchini. It keeps the crop down, and you get lots of mileage out of them. You keep a mixed crop that way, too. Plus, people don’t always welcome gifts of zucchini, but they find gifts of blossoms exciting.”

This struck me as absolutely game-changing.

lizardlicks

My problem is that I legitimately love zucchini. “Lizard,” you ask, “why is that a problem? Just eat the zucchini!” The problem is that in the middle of the growing season, there will be a point where I physically can not consume enough zucchini to keep up with what the plants are producing. It does not matter how much I chop, freeze, fry, bake, etc– there will always be a point where I have more zucchini than I have time in the day to do something with that zucchini.

But eventually it runs out. Like summer, it’s as intense as it is fleeting and come November I want for some zucchini fried with onions. By January, when I’m planning out the spring garden, there’s always that thought, that voice of hubris whispering in my ear… “maybe I should grow more zucchini?”

Children, it is a trap.

elidyce

Stories like this are why, despite my absolute passion for zucchini, I have never tried to grow them. I have more than one chronic illness. I will not have the strength to fight this fight, I know it.

tomionessen

hermione on her 1940′s to do list:

january

avoid riddle at all costs. ✓

february

avoid riddle at all costs. ✓

at least avoid riddle’s attention

march

avoid riddle at all costs. ✓

at least avoid riddle’s attention

try NOT to punch voldemort.

april

avoid riddle at all costs. ✓

at least avoid riddle’s attention

try NOT to punch voldemort.

but avoid him obsessing over you!!

may

avoid riddle at all costs. ✓

at least avoid riddle’s attention

try NOT to punch voldemort.

but avoid him obsessing over you!! wth is going on?

ok, just please don’t shag the dark lord.

june

,-.

..don’t do it again

july

,-.

..don’t do it again

AT LEAST STOP LIKING IT!

september

jesus fuck. kill him!

october

jesus fuck. kill him!

november

…

december

get tom a birthday present ✓

serpentinred

Thanks to @littlemulattokitten for the tag <3 <3 <3 !!!

I posted 103 times in 2021

4 posts created (4%)

99 posts reblogged (96%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 24.8 posts.

I added 19 tags in 2021

#animals - 5 posts

#reference - 4 posts

#useful - 2 posts

#tag game - 2 posts

#fanfic - 1 posts

#writing - 1 posts

#memoirs of a procrastinator - 1 posts

#tomione - 1 posts

#volmione - 1 posts

#flailing serp is flailing - 1 posts

Longest Tag: 34 characters

#i always get stunned by her beauty

My Top Posts in 2021

#4

Tagged by the lovely @littlemulattokitten ! Thanks <3 <3 <3!

How many works do you have on AO3?

25 (I have no idea why this number is showing up so huge on my screen and is fixed when I add words after it, but oh well)

What’s your total AO3 word count?

599,651 words.

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Harry Potter

Sailor Moon

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Somewhere in Time (Tomione) [Harry Potter]

The Position (Tomione) [Harry Potter - This is a collab with Nerys, so ... will add one more]

Mask (Tomione) [Harry Potter]

The Scorn of Men (Senshi/Shitennou) [Sailor Moon]

Prisms of Darkness (Tomione) [Harry Potter]

Berenice (Senshi/Shitennou, focus on Venus/Kunzite) [Sailor Moon]

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I try to. I mean, I really, really appreciate the time readers use to leave comments on my works -- and seriously, I love reading through the comments, regardless of how long or how short they are -- so I also want to let my commenters/reviewers know that I've read through their comments?

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Hm ... I hardly end my fics with angst? I mean, the only one I can think of are the one-shots that I've placed under The Thoughts Asylum. But those aren't ... exactly finished per se and can be easily continued. If I had the time, that is ...

Do you write crossovers? If so what’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Nope.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Who haven't? I would say tell me your secrets, but I find it funny because the hater is spending time on my fic, bumping up the review counts, so ... thanks.

Do you write smut? If so what kind?

I used to, but not anymore.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yep, though most, if not all, of the time, my wonderful readers would alert me about it <3 <3 <3.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

See the full post

1 notes • Posted 2021-08-27 06:38:12 GMT

#3

I just wanna say that I for one, LOVE LOVE LOVE your fanfics especially Somewhere In Time!!! Your fic is one of the first Tomione fanfics I've ever read and it's my absolute favorite, not just for Tomione but out of EVERY Harry Potter fanfic I've ever read! I find myself always coming back to this fic whenever I'm in the mood for some HP fanfic. Sometimes with other fanfics I've read, they don't seem to age well but yours is ALWAYS a classic to me. ILY and keep up the good work!!

EEP! Thank you so much for this sweet ask! Glad to hear that you enjoy my stories, and thanks for your compliments! You are too kind.

4 notes • Posted 2021-06-25 08:35:11 GMT

#2

Thanks to @littlemulattokitten for the tag! <3 <3 <3

Rank your tropes! Tagging: @clearlemon, @coppercrane2, @evillivingfluff, @gutter-star-gazer, @hauscrashburn, @imjaneees, @infalliblesbian, @nerysdax, @ozzymandius, @shadowedcries, @waterflower20, @wild0kitsune, @woodswit

5 notes • Posted 2021-08-18 06:07:27 GMT

#1

Me: *replies to one review*

Me: LOOK AT ME BEING PRODUCTIVE

Me: *writes 10 words on the same day*

Me: I'M SO PROUD OF MYSELF

7 notes • Posted 2021-06-20 14:00:35 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

clearlemon

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