Clian

This is a diary for my mental deteoration and my yearnings. Carol, 22, she/her, trans. Minors DNI.

[clianlia]

Carol | 23 | Trans Woman | Lesbian | Brazilian | 🐺

This blog will contain me, my thoughts, feelings, yearnings and anything else I might want to post. I know it's kind of vague, but just look at my posts and you will get an idea of what I like.

Hobbies are reading mangas and books, gaming, writing, watching animes and movies and sometimes going on walks, I also wanted to get into baking, but I didn't get the opportunity yet.

My asks and dms are open!

Minors DNI!!

[clianlia]

I miss my plushie

[tiredkitchenwitch]

[psin314]

thanks artfight for reminding me that my ocs need refs.

[youmegravity]

I feel like some people are very protective of saying "I love you", treating it like some magical words, I've even read people say they consider it a red flag if someone says it before ~6 months of dating which is insane to me. How can you kiss someone regularly without wanting to tell them you love them? "I love you" isn't a promise that I will love you forever, but I love you today and I think that's what matters.

[msh2o2]

idk this makes me wonder what love even means to you?

[villainessbian]

If love only exists if it exists forever, I'm sorry to say fewer than 100 people have ever loved in the history of humanity

[isopost-headquarters]

the thing is, TRUE love just hasn't been achieved yet

[villainessbian]

Then what did I have with my mother

[villainessbian]

*your

[villainessbian]

FUCK

[clianlia]

Villainess caught loving her own mother, reputation as an evil woman ruined

[dancwart]

Happy Pancake Thursday!

She didn't like it. Sororitas are so hard to please :'(

[clianlia]

My Morvenn Vahl book arrived!! I read the first two chapters today and I am so excited to read more!

[sailatina3]

[clianlia]

kind of funny to think that 1 and a half years ago I was so lonely and suffering so much from undiagnosed bpd that I was deeply obsessed with yanderes and being the target of someone's obsession.

Now I am more interested in getting to know someone intimately and getting lightly obsessed with them, not enough to lock them in a room and make them mine exclusively

But enough to put lots of bite marks on their skins and make sure they're wearing a collar.

[clianlia]

So I recently finished the Rogue Trader game and it's sooooo good

The writing is genuinely comparable to Baldurs Gate 3, and the entire game is just as good if you don't mind the lack of animations and voice acting.

I had so much fun and I was obsessed with it for weeks, 10/10 game

Only bad thing is that you can't romance Argenta, you can't even try to flirt with her and have her turn you down! Let me lesbian heart at least try flirting with the Sister of Battle!

[ouroborosorder]

god I wish I could tell my current work drama without doxxing myself because it’s so fucking funny. I genuinely can’t put into words how fucking funny it is

[ouroborosorder]

basically someone spent years trying to get his ego passion project through approvals. then on the launch date of the project, he rides a motorcycle indoors to promote it, gasses every customer with exhaust fumes, and gets written up by every person he could be written up by. then his passion project flops hard because no one but him cared about it

[demilypyro]

No spoilers, just themes.

With the finale out now I think a central theme that I've recognized and really adore is "all of these characters are more complex than an audience would appreciate." They are all being squished into a child-friendly set of archetypes, be that by Caine, Jax, or metatextually, the fandom. Caine doesn't want them complaining, swearing or having sex, they just have to go on endless, mindless, youtube-monetizable adventures. He's the ringmaster, he puts them in a bright poppy's playtime ass stage and demands for funny to happen. Meanwhile, Jax doesn't want to address the dire reality of their situation and copes by playing along, treating himself and all the characters as flat archetypes with no internality, so that the elephants in the room can safely be ignored. The fandom, meanwhile, is quietly guilty of all the same things. "Why isn't my favorite character acting in accordance with my headcanon? Which characters are flatly evil so we can hate them? Will they achieve my perfect happy ending? Because if not I'll be mad about it."

It doesn't work. Because they're more complex than that. They're people, they need more, they have emotions and traumas and wants and needs. Ragatha isn't always cheerful, she's not just the mom friend, and she's not some manipulator either. She's a person, trying her best, and very often failing. Pomni isn't always anxious, she's a natural leader and she wants the best for everyone, but she's not perfect either. She's a person, trying her best, and very often failing. And Jax isn't just a villain, he's a very complicated ball of traumas whose consistent first instinct is to push everyone away, hurting others so that he won't get hurt himself. He's a person, trying his best, and very often failing. She might even be a girl. Zooble isn't just a grump, Gangle isn't just a wimp, Kinger isn't just crazy. They're humans. And humans aren't always good. They're messy, screwed up, complicated things. They're things that can't be flattened down to archetypes, no matter how much Caine, Jax, or the fandom wants it.

The fandom wanted a bunch of cookie cutter adventures with good guys and bad guys, but what we got is just a bunch of people, stuck together, their traumas rubbing up against eachother until something catches fire and explodes. And I think that's way more interesting. I'm glad the show is that. I understand not everyone feels that way, though. A lot of people wanted something less nuanced. But I don't think the show not matching your expectations is the show's fault. I think people just need to come at it with the right mindset. Meet the story where it's at.

People are always more complicated than an audience wants them to be.

[captain-price-returns]

Ball over every thing.

[cheaphalloweencostume]

this actually makes more sense to me than like anything else happening in the world currently. like it blows catastrophically to be sure but it checks out

[hylianane]

functionally suicidal character saying “I would die for you” to their significant other and its like. I get the sentiment, honey, but if a hot dog vendor told me he’d sell hot dogs for me, I wouldn’t feel very moved now would I

[maseratus]

Now a functionally suicidal character saying “I will live for you”. Now that’s a dynamic I can sink my teeth into.

[mousidy]

now how about a functionally suicidal character saying "I will sell hot dogs for you"

[mousidy]

[messedupdoggirl]

The woman who kidnapped me and relentlessly abused me over the last week for nothing but her own pure sadistic enjoyment took me out for a walk in the woods and unleashed me and told me to run!! I think shes letting me go finally :D

[parkchanwoohoo]