omega protection services

hey I'm Sal and I'm so normal about my interests

[sufjansjoy]

mm you’re being such an okay boy for daddy. could be better could be worse. you will receive neither reward nor punishment for your forgettable behavior. that’s my okay boy, keep doing whatever …

[ohwhatagloomyshow]

do you remember why you followed prev

yes :)

no :)

Remaining time: 3 days 20 hours

[weepingchoir]

This isn’t fucking funny. My father was torn to pieces in the noob wars by a silver rank landmine

[contemptible-scoundrel]

how does your dad being reduced to freelo protect our guild

[huffylemon]

[triviallytrue]

aren't gorillas gentle giants or something. i stay out of his way, he doesn't maul me, we have a nice time picking out clothes together in opposite sides of the mall

[friendshapedhole]

Male gorillas are super aggressive and territorial. Also they interpret nearly every human mannerism as a sign of aggression or a challenge. Smiling and eye contact are both things that zookeepers have to be taught to suppress when they’re in the vicinity of gorillas.

[triviallytrue]

Well unless the mall is his native territory I think I'm fine, I wasn't planning on smiling at him

[max1461]

This is all irrelevant because the obvious answer is five black mambas. I mean, that’s not actually very many snakes, and malls are fucking huge. And unlike a gorilla you can definitely outrun a snake if it does show up. Find an open space in the mall where you can see any snake coming and just hangout out there. Fucking easy.

[triviallytrue]

Misguided! I would much rather have a mallmate I can easily see and hear coming. I'm confident I can stay out of the gorilla's way, but if I step on a snake or one otherwise gets the jump on me, it's all over.

It's not just about the physical danger either, it's about my mental health. One gorilla, unless he's actively mad at me, I just keep a healthy distance between us and make sure I never get trapped. With the snakes, it requires a lot more constant vigilance

[ghostpalmtechnique]

They should substitute "chimpanzee" for "gorilla" in this hypothetical.

[triviallytrue]

if it was a chimp i'm taking the fucking snakes

[notwiselybuttoowell]

Black mambas have a reputation build on being very venomous and very fast. I'm not sure why you would think you could outrun one (or five) in an enclosed space like a mall.

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

Malls usually have pretty slick floors, and escalators. I’d choose the gorilla simply because I think that would make an more interesting story (and a better-selling autobiography, I Survived the Mall Gorilla) but I think I’d stand a pretty good chance at avoiding the mamba. They’re fast and aggressive and will chase you but unless we started immediately beside each other I think my sneakers would have the terrain advantage over scutes.

[nightingalesoul]

this is too good to leave hidden in the replies

[bermuda-n-drangle]

fucking enamored with the implication that this gorilla is fully intelligent but is trying to manufacture plausible deniability like the movie barnyard

[xalatath]

I'm high looking at street cat wiki. Thus is too much for me

[armandgender]

what it feels like listening to music and thinking about the character

[skopostheorie]

[gremlininho]

looking. at you

[wesandresons]

shia labeouf DIE. brad pitt DIE. chris brown DIE. johnny depp DIE. cristiano ronaldo DIE. conor mcgregor DIE. die die die die die die die DIE. every single abuser DIE. if you support them DIE TWICE!

[topgunvolleyballscene]

how often are you getting a headache

daily

weekly

monthly

couple times a year

yearly or less

Remaining time: 3 days 6 hours

[topgunvolleyballscene]

how often are you getting a tummy ache

daily

weekly

monthly

every couple months

yearly or less

Remaining time: 3 days 6 hours

[topgunvolleyballscene]

Ok so thanks for voting on this but i need you to reblog it too

[fairycosmos]

it’s the fact that work is an every day thing that doesn’t sit right with me. like surely not

[clitchuck]

I need to be killed. Badly.

[meowmorials]

2006

[mavigation]

that feeling when your laundry comes out of the dryer damp

[ishowdespair-deactivated2026012]

[ahmed-motaz]

Where do we go as night approaches? H@lp us, we won't live in s@fety. These fires you see in the picture aren't just flames; they're consuming our sky, stealing sleep from our eyes, and filling our hearts with terror every second.

[ahmed-motaz]

I'm just a child. A child's natural place is school, or a s@fe and comfortable place in their room. But my current situation is much worse. My family and I are now inside a tattered truck that offers no protection from the day's heat, nor from the night's cold, and certainly not from the shrapnel of fear that rains down around us, as you can see in the picture.

[ahmed-motaz]

Every sound of the tent pegs snapping against our flimsy shelters is a reminder of the possibility of reaching us.Our worn-out tent is all we have now, and we desperately need your support to survive. We need basic necessities like food, clean water, and a proper shelter. Ple@se h@lp us,—,I beg you, don't abandon us.

[closet-keys]

Please please help my friend Ahmed!!! He is enduring unthinkable terror and has no relief from these conditions. Help his family to raise the funds they need to survive this!!

[stonefemmesiren]

woman who is having a very very good day

[stonefemmesiren]