ᯓ ☆

[clubsclassic]

writing sideblog for prty4u ,

[madelyncilne]

━━━━     click  the  source  link  and  you’ll  gain  access  to  #056  GIFS  of  DREW  STARKEY  (1993)  in  LUCKY  (S01).  drew  is  of  EUROPEAN  descent,  so  cast  accordingly  when  creating  your  muse  or  using  my  resources  !  since  these  gifs  were  made  by  me  from  scratch,  please  don’t  redistribute,  claim  as  your  own  or  edit  in  any  way  (without  permission).  additionally,  do  not:  use  my  gifs  to  portray  the  faceclaim  themselves,  use  in  taboo/smut  threads  or  be  weird.  however  do  enjoy  using  them  for  threads,  and  happy  roleplaying  !

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[stereosmindgame]

her reaction catches him completely off guard, knocking the air clean from his lungs, body moving before his mind does, one arm circling instinctively around the small of her back to steady her as the mattress dips beneath their combined weight. to be greeted with that kind of unguarded joy feels almost incongruous on him, yet fallon wore it like the most natural thing in the world. the corner of his mouth betrays him. she’s always possessed this infuriating proclivity for treating permanence as though it requires no negotiation. say stay, and she’s already planning tomorrow. he files away every detail with the same quiet diligence he reserves for things he can’t afford to lose. his thumb traces absentminded circles against her back while she excitedly lists all the places she intends to drag him. somewhere between the words and the warmth of her pressed against him, he realizes this is precisely what frightens him most. she’s never once behaved like loving him — even platonically — came with an expiration date. she assumes he’ll be there tomorrow with the same certainty she once spoke about stadiums from the roof of his childhood home. “ you’d already made an itinerary before i even agreed ? ” amusement threads through the gravel of his voice. his gaze lingers on her before another thought occurs to him. “ jordan, huh ? ” a brow arches. “ you’re introducing me to your people ? ” up until this point, he’s mostly existed in the margins of her life — the one she ran to after xander, the constant waiting back home. the thought of meeting jordan nestles somewhere dangerously warm inside him, because it sounds like she isn’t just asking him to stay now. she’s asking him to belong. he smooths the hair from where it’s fallen across her face, unable to resist the quiet affection of the gesture despite everything he’d spent the last hour trying to keep at arm’s length. “ thought i was just your hometown secret. ”

[clubsclassic]

" mhm, " hums with quiet satisfaction, " i may have had a feeling you wouldn't be able to say no to me. " canines sink into her bottom brim to stop her from showing all thirty-two. and if you were to ask her, that's one of the perks of knowing someone as long as they have, you can always use their weaknesses to your advantage. not that he's ever succeeded at resisting her. even when they were younger, all it took was a single phone call for him to show up at her door, ready and willing to listen to her ridiculous schemes or simply sit beside her when life felt too heavy. " would you rather stay cooped up between these four walls? " because they've done that plenty of times. the hiding, netflix marathons, greasy takeout containers, but she's never been good at remaining still. and something about integrating him into this part of her world feels significant, solidifying that he's not just a distraction, or filling a void that xander left behind. " not that i couldn't make it worth your while, " digits idly toy with the collar of his shirt, a hint of mischief flashing in hues at the suggestion. " but it seems kind of repetitive, don't you think? " challenges the thought, the soothing touch of his thumb against her back acting as an anchor. " figured it's about time my two worlds collided. " says it casually, as if she hasn't been entertaining the idea for weeks, wondering what their lives would look like intertwined. jordan was the first step in that, her two favorite people meeting an exciting milestone. she kept her grounded, offering a female perspective she didn't have growing up, almost sisterly in the way she looked after her. " shut up, " eyes playfully roll, shoving his chest with barely any force at the label he's given himself. “ you're so much more than that. " the words land softer, sincerity slipping through before she can mask it, letting the moment linger as he pushes a few strands of hair away from her face. " you're also my designated driver and personal pillow. " banters the latter with lighthearted ease, turning to humor as a form of deflection.

[stereosmindgame]

“ absolutely not— ” the protest leaves before she’s even fully processed his infuriatingly pleased expression, a scoff following. all theatrical indignation as she swats his hand away from her hair with far more offense than the gesture warrants. “ you cheated ! ” it’s exclaimed with complete conviction, as though there isn’t a single universe where xander steele earned that victory fairly.. but he did. ner nose wrinkles, narrowing her eyes at him before lifting two fingers to the center of his forehead and pushing, “ don’t look so pleased with yourself. it’s unbecoming. ” she expects him to move. instead, he only comes closer. his hands are planted on either side of her hips, his knees sinking into the cushions, leaving her enclosed in a space that suddenly feels much smaller than his living room ever has. for all her bravado, she doesn’t retreat. she simply lifts her chin another fraction, refusing to concede even an inch of ground as she holds his gaze with the same obstinate resolve that’s carried them through months of arguments, staged kisses, and every battle in between. “ you’re enjoying this far too much, ” she murmurs, unable to suppress the faint roll of her eyes. “ i already told you the truth, ” it’s insisted but the words lack their usual immaculate polish. “ i came over to hang out. ” even to her own ears, it sounds fake. her gaze falters, a fleeting descent toward the space between them before climbing back to his eyes. she suddenly becomes acutely aware of his proximity, of how absurdly difficult it is to construct another performance when he keeps looking at her like that. “ my apartment.. ” she begins, then pauses, irritation blooming more at herself than him. “ was quiet. ” the admission settles with surprising weight. a soft exhale, then another inch of surrender. “ i didn’t feel like being alone. ” an ordinary truth, which precisely makes it feel like the most vulnerable thing she’s ever said.

[clubsclassic]

" i am enjoying it. " admits with a faint smile, because if the shoe was on the other foot, she'd be milking the victory for all it was worth, putting the theatrics on full display, and never letting him hear the end of it. but the satisfaction of winning fades just as quickly as it came, the air in the room shifting to something heavier, studying her like an algebra equation he can't quite solve. her words land in a strange place, doesn't necessarily believe she would go out of her way to hang out with him, or maybe that's a sign within itself. maybe this inexplicable pull they have towards one another means more than either of them are willing to acknowledge. they're good at the performances, pretending, though when it comes to moments like these — where he's met with the slightest bit of honesty, it instills fear in him. a fear of getting too close, of opening himself up to someone he could potentially lose, of fucking up like the trail of broken hearts behind him show. then she finally spits it out: loneliness. it's a feeling that can eat you alive in this industry, a feeling he knows intimately, always filling the hollow silences with girls, parties, appearances. temporary fixes for the quiet that awaits him when everyone eventually goes home. " so, you'd rather be alone with me. " stripped of his usual cockiness, it's not a challenge or an accusation, just a simple observation he's willing to accept as truth, even if she tries to downplay it. his gaze lingers, easing himself back against the pillows on the opposite side of her. remaining casual. keeping a friendly distance. " why's that? hollywood isn't everything you dreamed of? " the question glides off the tip of his tongue, genuine curiosity laced beneath his tone as a knee gently nudges her, venturing into uncharted territory.

[stereosmindgame]

his words carve through her, stealing the breath from her lungs. instead of defending herself, she gives the smallest nod, an acknowledgement so quiet it borders on surrender. “ i know. ” it hurts because she’s only just realizing he’d been counting. europe. the kiss. outside the club. every time he found courage to choose her, she’d answered with another disappearance, too consumed by outrunning her own fear to notice what it was costing him. the realization settles somewhere beneath her ribs, heavy with belated understanding. his joke draws the ghost of a laugh from her, brittle enough to fracture before it ever becomes a smile. “ yeah, ” she murmurs. “ that’s fair. ” for a couple beats, she just looks at him, and what unnerves her isn’t the anger she’d prepared herself for — but its lack thereof — exhaustion having replaced it entirely. this is the first time he hadn’t chased after her; she had to come to him. if she’d been five minutes later, she’s not sure he would’ve followed her outside at all. “ do you know why i run ? ” the question carries no defiance, only a fatigue and after a beat, she answers it herself. “ because if i leave before you decide to.. i don’t have to watch you do it. ” her gaze falters toward the club doors for the briefest second, where sierra waits somewhere beyond them, before returning to him with an almost imperceptible sadness. maybe she’s too late this time.

[clubsclassic]

any fight he has left in him reignites when she begins explaining herself, teeth gnawing at the inside of his cheek in a weak attempt to calm the frustration boiling beneath his skin. shakes his head almost immediately, already prepared to cut her off. " i've never once given you a reason to believe i would leave. " digits rake through curls, tugging at the ends hard enough to ground himself before he says something he regrets. " do you realize how fucked that sounds? you don't want to get hurt, so you hurt me instead. how is that fair? " the answer is: it isn't. it's unfair to have her fears projected onto him when he's shown her patience through all of the hurdles she's thrown in his path. " i'm done chasing after you, amelia. you might not be tired, but i am. " a hand drags slowly over his face, exhaustion seeping into every expression line as he turns away from her, staring at the blank sky to steady his erratic nerves. " and to be honest, i don't think you'll ever stop running. " the realization dawns on him in a way that almost feels final. that's the cruel part of knowing someone as intimately as they do, you learn every pattern, every defense mechanism, every excuse. " you don't know what you want. " and that's the difference between them because his feelings for her have always been clear. she walks into every room like gravity bent her in his direction, effortlessly stealing his attention — even with his own damn ex-girlfriend sat beside him. it's pathetic.

[stereosmindgame]

her palm comes up and against every instinct that has governed him, he actually stops. the interruption is almost jarring. there was a time she’d let him talk circles around her until the conversation resembled whatever version of the truth he found most convenient. not anymore. his jaw flexes and only when she’s done, “ it didn’t mean enough to mention. ” the second the words leave his mouth, he hears how hollow they sound. another excuse masquerading as an explanation. then she calls him a coward, his gaze slipping away for the briefest moment, thumb absently brushing the side of his nose as something uncomfortably close to shame prickles beneath his skin. becomes acutely aware of the alcohol on his breath, the lingering cocaine in his bloodstream, of how effortlessly she can still read him after all this time. a dry laugh escapes him, “ sober me’s even less fun. ” uses dry humor as an armor but the joke dies the moment it escapes him. “ i’m not— ” mad. except the denial stalls before it can become convincing, silence filling in the rest, expression hardening instead. “ you knew exactly where i was all night. ” fleeting glances cast across the crowded room that lingered just long enough to convince him they weren’t accidents. “ you wanted me to see it. ”

[clubsclassic]

his words hold zero weight to her now, merely noise filtering in one ear and out the other. dwelling on the past wasn't going to change the outcome, and frankly, she doesn't have it in her to go around in circles with him while her date cluelessly waits for her return. the final nail in the coffin comes when he starts spewing half-hearted jokes that land nowhere close to being funny, instead acting as a reminder of why their relationship was doomed from the start. " you need help. " the sentiment is genuine, but it's delivered in a condemning tone rather than compassionate. brows knit together at his implication, which is even more insulting, as if she planned this. " right, because i have nothing better to do with my life than track your every move. " if her eyes rolled back any further, they would permanently be stuck behind her head. " you think i'm putting on a show? " challenges through grit teeth, a taunting smile lifting at the corners of her mouth. " enjoy the performance, then. " refuses to give him a second to respond before pivoting on her heels, blonde curls bouncing as she makes her way towards oliver. except this time, she finds a comfortable seat in the middle of his lap, arms wrapping around his neck to pull him closer. doesn't bother glancing over her shoulder to feel forbes' gaze boring into the back of her skull. and maybe she is proving him right. maybe every bit of this is fueled by spite. she doesn't care, lips pressing against his in a lingering kiss — one meant to erase every trace of the conversation she just left behind.

[parisgoodbyes]

things would always be complicated between them . but he was raised on the business , seeing the way his father operated . though his mother was a saint , the older bates didn't allow anything to get in the way of creating his empire . you didn't become powerful sitting on your ass or getting distracted . he didn't want to repeat the parts of his father brodie hated , but it was inevitable . especially with a woman like gia who didn't need anybody . "go find someone else to monitor ," he tells her , voice low . "i'm busy so unless you prefer i make a scene , i'd suggest listening to me for once ."

[clubsclassic]

eyes narrow in on him the way they used to when he gave her an answer she didn't like. " mmm, i don't think so. " stands firm in her position, arms folding across her chest while she continues sizing him up. " you're on my turf, remember? " and last she checked, ace of spades never called a truce with inferno, so his refusal to disclose why he's there sparks intrigue — suddenly interested in the game plan he's set in motion because she knows this is business. it always is with him. they're cut from the same cloth in that sense. " what're you gonna do, bates? " taunts through teeth, the tiniest hint of amusement laced through syllables as if calling him on his bluff. " drag me out of here kicking and screaming? "

[parisgoodbyes]

"the pool boys kept me busy ," more like the second she checked into rehab , they cut off all signs of the outside world . no visitors , no contact with anyone beside her parents , who didn't bother to show . she sobered up , swearing she'll be good . they believed her -- that was their first mistake . because a girl like bridget monaco could make anything sound pretty even if it was wrapped in dirt . she hums low , allowing the cool air to whisk past tendrils , some strands getting stuck to her lipgloss as she smiles , shrugging . "i think i missed the age limit for leo , but there's always toby ."

[clubsclassic]

he's not sure how he's supposed to act now that she's standing beside him in the flesh, still struggling with the fact that she vanished for months. worrying about her has always come naturally to him, a protective instinct he couldn't shake, even when they were kids. " bet you had them following you around like lap dogs. " because he knows her reputation, how men are so willing to fall at her feet — him being one of them, but enough time has passed to convince himself those feelings have run their course. out of sight, out of mind. " poor bastard wouldn't know what hit him. " an airy laugh cuts through the tension, quickly swallowed by the oceanic breeze as his gaze drifts towards the sun melting into the horizon. " are we not gonna address the elephant? " takes a sip from the beer bottle tucked between digits, " s'not like you to disappear on me like that. "

[stereosmindgame]

it’s the exhaustion that undoes her, not the question itself. somewhere along the way, his anger had calcified into something quieter, more perilous, and all at once the speech she’d painstakingly rehearsed dissolves into nothing. her gaze drops to the pavement for the briefest moment, gathering whatever courage remains before lifting back to him with a small, barely perceptible breath. “ to explain. ” words arrive softer than she’d intended, eyes searching his face for some indication he hasn’t already decided there’s nothing left worth hearing. “ nothing happened with jameson. he’s a friend. ” a disastrous influence, perhaps, and she’d admittedly never been particularly gifted at refusing the night’s temptations, especially when they came dusted in white. but jameson had always understood where the line was, and more importantly, he’d never once tried to cross it. her lips press together. “ i didn’t know how to call you. ” after that night with alex and the kiss they shared. “ every day i waited.. it just became harder. ”

[clubsclassic]

doubts an explanation would fix the damage that's already been done, just a handful of words meant to bandage a festering wound. " jameson isn't even the problem. " not really. sure, it stung watching them together, but he's one of the many pawns tangled up in this game of chess she plays. " you are. " and that lands harsher, edged with all the resentment that's been building inside of him since the first time she disappeared without a trace. it feels impossible to let go of the past when she keeps repeating the same mistakes over and over again. " i've put myself out there twice now, and what do i get other than a fucking slap in the face? " because the simple truth is, everything about this hurts. it hurts to see her give herself to a guy like alex, it hurts to be brushed aside, it hurts to love someone who always has one foot out the door before he can ask her to stay. " you like running so much, you may as well join the women's olympic team. " breathless chuckle follows the remark, the most brutally honest he's been with her, and part of him thinks maybe that's exactly what she needs to hear.

[stereosmindgame]

her retreat doesn’t go unnoticed, instinct telling him to bridge the distance she’s so deliberately carved between them, but something in the way she looks at him makes the impulse wither before it ever reaches his feet. instead, his hands disappear into the pockets of his jacket, a subconscious move that hints he knows he’s already overstepped enough. still, he can’t help the humorless scoff that escapes him. “ you know there was never anything there. ” shoulders lift in a careless shrug, “ amelia told you that much, didn’t she ? ” it isn’t the amelia jab that lingers, it’s the guess i have a type, those five words somehow lodging themselves beneath his ribs as they reduce everything they’ve been to little more than another bad habit she outgrew. he huffs out a quiet laugh, absent of any real amusement. “ probably, ” he concedes because she’s right then almost immediately, he ruins it. “ doesn’t make me wrong. ” his gaze drifts briefly toward oliver before settling back on her. “ you don’t even like him. you’re just trying to convince yourself that you do. ”

[clubsclassic]

palm lifts up to stop him before he can say another word, " it doesn't matter. you should've told me yourself. " because the embarrassment of finding that out was the cherry on top of everything else. she doesn't like to hold grudges, prides herself on giving people the benefit of the doubt, but there's a particular kind of disappointment in wishing someone could be the version of themselves you'd hoped for. and forbes was never going to be that person for her, no matter how desperately she wanted it. the future she envisioned was a fantasy built on drug infused delusions and lies. now that she's stepped away from it, peeled off her rose-colored glasses, the reality is crystal clear. " then again, i shouldn't expect anything more from a coward. you can't even have this conversation with me sober. " spent enough time memorizing every version of him to recognize the one standing in front of her instantly, a dry scoff slipping between the tension, though the satisfaction she gets from the jab dies down when his next words hit — blood running cold. " you don't know shit, forbes. you're just mad that i'm moving on. "

[stereosmindgame]

knows how damning the optics are — she’d disappeared when he needed answers, then given him the worst possible first impression when they finally crossed paths again. the tragedy of it is that appearances have always been far more convincing than her intentions. ignores the needless introduction, attention focused solely on dean. his question lands exactly as she’d expected it would, his accusation masquerading as casual conversation. she looks at him with an amicable expression that feels increasingly decorative. “ i wasn’t looking for jameson. ” i’d been looking for you. but this isn’t ideal — not like this, not with an audience. her attention shifts politely back to sierra, “ would you mind if i stole him for a second ? ” it’s asked with a practiced smile. “ i promise i’ll bring him back. ” yet her eyes never leave dean’s, the request belonging more to him than the femme standing beside him.

[clubsclassic]

it should make him feel better, knowing jameson isn't at the forefront of her mind and she's come searching for him instead, but it doesn't — far past the point of finding comfort in half-measures. sierra offers a nod to her question, refusing to put up much of a fight when amelia asks to whisk him away. he's reluctant to give her the time of day, though his legs betray him, already pushing himself up from his seat at the bar. follows behind her in long strides, remaining painfully quiet, the only sound coming from the muffled music that fades when they step outside. hues drag over her expectantly, as if waiting for an explanation he isn't convinced is coming, arms folding across his chest. " what do you want, amelia? " exhaustion bleeds through his voice, worn thin from constantly chasing after someone who doesn't want to be caught, and he's finally beginning to accept the reality for what it is.

[stereosmindgame]

she has always been patient with him, even when he gave her every reason not to be. so hearing that sharp edge directed at him lands with an almost sobering clarity, cutting clean through the haze of liquor and whatever still lingered in his bloodstream. he looks past her shoulder toward oliver, the other man lingering where they left him, making no attempt to intervene as though he understands this is a history he’s arrived too late to compete with. only then does forbes realize he’s still holding her wrist, fingers loosening almost reluctantly. silence stretches, exposing the inconvenient truth that he dragged her away with no plan beyond the overwhelming need to make her stop looking so comfortable with somebody else. “ that’s your date ? ” his mouth twists. “ you can do better than amelia’s leftovers from boarding school. ”

[clubsclassic]

the shift is felt instantaneously, how she's no longer willing to accept the bare minimum, and it shows in the way she yanks her body away from him once his grip around her wrist loosens. feet take two deliberate steps back to maintain a safe distance, sardonic laugh erupting from the base of her throat at his twisted attempt to look out for her. like he should be the one talking. " aren't you amelia's leftovers, too? " question slips past glossed brims before she can stop it, completely mocking in tone as a manicured digit lifts up to her mouth, teeth grazing her nail to contemplate the thought. if he wants to get into the nitty gritty details, then they can hash everything out right now. " guess i have a type. " the irony leaves a bitter taste on her tongue, but somehow she still manages to finds their entire exchange laughable. " this whole 'you can do better' speech is actually a joke coming from you. "

[stereosmindgame]

“ there you are. ” though the timing feels almost cruel as her gaze catches his ex beside him, offering her a practiced smile anyway. “ well, isn’t this nostalgic. ”

[clubsclassic]

doesn't have the energy to plaster on a fake smile as femme stood opposite them wears so effortlessly, acting like everything is perfectly fine while his emotions couldn't be more out of control. " amelia. sierra. " lazily motions between the women with the glass in his hand, " i'm sure you two remember each other. " head tilts back to finish his whiskey, welcoming the burn as it slides down his throat. and still, the feeling doesn't compare to the sting of seeing her do lines off another guy — not when so much was left unspoken after their kiss. " where's your pal jameson? "

[stereosmindgame]

without asking permission, he grabs her wrist and tugs her to her feet, gaze flicking briefly toward oliver before settling back on her. “ i’m stealing you for a minute. ”

[clubsclassic]

barely has time to protest before he's dragging her across the bar, a hurried 'sorry' mouthed in oliver's direction, annoyance curling tighter with each step she takes. gaze rakes over him in disbelief, because of course he would interfere the second she starts to move on with someone else. twists her wrist against his grip, determined to free herself from his grasp, " what's so important that you had to pull me away from my date? " bites out with a harshness that feels unnatural to her, but he has a special talent of unraveling her emotions in a way that steals every ounce of composure she has.

[pomspurin]

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[parisgoodbyes]

she tries to bury it , ignore the way he bulldozed himself into her life , into caring for her , but the more he went on , the more her resolve began to snap . "you are doing something wrong , vince . don't you get it ? you shouldn't be here because i have nothing to give you !" frustrations get the best of her . a first for femme who bottled it all up and pretended so well she even convinced herself it were true . after everything that has transpired , she wasn't prepared for his caring to come visit her in the middle of the night . she meets his gaze head on , chest visibly aching beneath every long winded breath that escapes her , "you think you found something here , but it doesn't exist . do you understand me ? you're just going to get yourself killed and for what ? some pussy ?" she shakes her head , laughing to herself , resembling something painful rather than animosity . "save yourself the trouble , vince . he'll come after you if you don't and nothing is worth that ."

[clubsclassic]

doesn't expect the unraveling, to watch her resolve deteriorate in front of his eyes. feels like the first time he's getting a sliver of truth out of her. " you've made it very clear you have nothing to give me. " and still, he's stood in her corner, stubbornly unwilling to walk away, even when he knows he's punching above his weight. " i could get killed for much less. " almost sounds sardonic against his tongue because in this world, every action comes with even bigger consequence, sometimes deadly ones. he's dealt with his fair share of dangerous men at the hands of brody, sharpened his skills like a blade. understands nothing is guaranteed. learned that lesson the hard way after his injury — how fragile life can be, how one wrong move can impact you forever. except there's a shift edged in her warning, realization slowly dawning on him. " oh, i see what this is. " motions a lazy finger towards her, fighting back the grin that threatens to lift at the corners of his mouth as he dares to take a step closer. " you're worried about me. " it shouldn't tug at his heartstrings, but it does. proof that she cares.

[stereosmindgame]

she adjusts the fall of her coat again, a small, almost imperceptible recalibration like she’s re-centering herself in a space that has suddenly become too intimate, too charged with his proximity. her face stays composed and neutral in that practiced way of hers, but her attention sharpens with reluctant precision — he has it now, which is rare, and therefore slightly dangerous. “ you don’t actually want to be understood, nate. ” it’s almost contemplative as though she’s naming a pattern she’s long since archived. “ you want to be argued with. ” more than jealousy in her stillness, it’s disappointment, carefully contained and quietly corrosive. because she recognizes this reflex, his deflection dressed as provocation, his need to turn exposure into performance. “ i stopped trying to solve you a while ago. ”

[clubsclassic]

flicks the lighter until a flame catches, drawing a long drag before blowing a stream of smoke into the air. you don't want to be understood, a dry scoff slips past brims at the accusation. " oh, and you do? " question hangs heavy, lifting his gaze to meet hers directly, because they're not that different after all. sees that same restlessness brewing inside of her, the instinct to keep people at arm's length. and maybe that's why he's always found himself drawn to her — knowing they were both detached enough to make a casual arrangement work. except it doesn't feel very casual now. " if i wanted to be psychoanalyzed, i'd hire a therapist. " words come out flat, lacking the usual humor and lighthearted charm he's mastered. " you can act like you don't care, but you're the one storming off the second you see me cozied up with another girl. so, explain that one. "