Chapters: 1/2
Fandom: Heated Rivalry (TV)
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov
Characters: Ilya Rozanov, Shane Hollander, David Hollander, Yuna Hollander, Irina Rozanova, references to Grigori Rozanov, references to Alexei Rozanov
Additional Tags: Implied/Referenced Suicide, Maternal love, Familial Bonds, toxic families, Sleepy Kisses, Morning Kisses, Supportive David Hollander and Yuna Hollander, Good Parents David Hollander/Yuna Hollander, David Hollander and Yuna Hollander Love Ilya Rozanov, Married Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov, Ilya Rozanov Needs A Hug
Summary:
Ilya dreams about his mother and their conversation gives him an idea about his last name now that he's married. Changes are made. He also spends a lot of time thinking about his mom, their family in general, and also how much he loves David and Yuna.
***TRIGGER WARNING (I did include it in the tags, but just to cover my bases) the fact that Irina took her own life briefly mentioned, but not in graphic detail. It's more about Ilya's emotions reflecting back on childhood memories.
Also, I realize Ilya and his mother would be speaking Russian in Ilya's dreams and memories, but I don't speak Russian, so let's just imagine the scene as if they're speaking Russian.
Excerpt below the cut
Ilya sits on a thick blanket on the snow covered hillside watching a translucent image of eight year old him skate circles and figure eights on the ice, dodging occasional snowballs thrown by his laughing mother. Their secret pond hidden in the woods. It had been a silly, joyful little haven he and his mother used to escape to. Not nearly as often as Ilya would have liked, but it was better than nothing. They never actaully discussed keeping it a secret either. She never sat him down or pointed a finger in his face for a stern “your father can never know about his place” speech. No, it was just . . . understood. This place belonged to them.
Suddenly a second, more weary, version of his mother plunks down next to him and swipes the cigarette from his lips with an admonishing scowl. “You shouldn’t be smoking, it’s terrible for your health.”
“Not when I’m dreaming it isn’t!” Ilya whines as he tries and fails to reclaim the smoldering stick.
Irina sighs and watches the memory of herself throwing snowballs at little Ilya for a moment, then takes a long, deep drag off the cigarette before turning to blow the smoke in her son’s face.“Then at least don’t do it while I’m here, please.” Her smile is soft and kind but her eyes are haunted, like they hold the ghosts of a thousand tragic legacies stretching back through unknown expanses of time. “Good mothers don’t let their babies hurt themselves.”
“Okay mama.”
“Ever.”
“I said okay!”
The cigarette, along with all trace of its scent, vanishes in a blink. For a long while they sit watching their happy younger versions play on the ice in cozy silence. But then he blinks again, and suddenly Little Ilya is wearing a hockey jersey with his name stamped on the back in bold, blood red letters.
“Rozanov,” His mother spits bitterly, “God I hate that you’re stuck with that man’s name!”
It occurs to him with a jolt of surprise that he doesn’t even know his mother’s given name. The one from before Grigori lured her into marriage with promises of stability and comfort.
I must have heard it at some fucking point, right? He thinks. Someone must have mentioned . . . if that’s true then it’s still in here . . . somewhere . . . Ilya wracks his tingling, frustrated brain, digging through a mishmash of dim recollections from his childhood all piled together in a disorganized heap. Her name . . . her fucking unmarried name . . . IT HAS TO BE HERE!
“Lebedeva.” She mutters, gently stroking his cheek with the back of her hand. “Daughter of two people who never liked me much.”
“Irina Lebedeva.” As Ilya mutters the name over and over again the ‘Rozanov’ on the back of Little Ilya’s jersey fades until only a blank space remains. He keeps stareing at the space, waiting for the name ‘Lebedevov’ to appear. He needs it to appear. With all the intensity he can muster he demands it . . .
“Too late to change anything now.” His mother says quietly. Her fragile voice shakes with apology as she leans in and presses her forehead against his temple. “It was what it was. Is what it is." Breath from another heavy sigh warms the side of Ilya's face before she leans back again and ruffles his hair. "Stupid useless past, yes? . . . On second thought, maybe I should let you have a smoke.”
FOR THE REST OF CH.1 CLICK HERE (ch.2 coming soon)
I was going to keep going w/my iwtv rewatch tonight, but in honor of the late, great, Anthony Head I'll be rewatching Giles-heavy episodes of btvs instead. The funny ones like A New Man. Giles x Spike scenes were peak comedy and I wish we'd gotten more of them as a cranky duo.
At some point I'll re-watch a few Uther-heavy episodes of Merlin as well, but I can't handle the dark-and-mean vibes right now even though Anthony Head does crush it. No, for now I need Giles to give me a hug and serve me tea and tell me everything will be okay.
Cliff wants to be a good bro and a good ally so when he and Ilya hang out to watch a movie, he decides they’re gonna watch a Gay Movie. And what is the one Gay Movie every straight guy knows? Brokeback Mountain. And what is the only thing straight guys know about Brokeback Mountain? That it’s the gay cowboy movie. And hey that sounds fun, cowboys are fun
Shane gets a text two hours later from Cliff that’s a picture of Ilya on the couch with his head down between his knees and he’s just like “HELP I BROKE HIM IM SORRY I DIDNT KNOW THEY BROKE UP AND THEN THE ONE GUY GOT HATECRIMED TO DEATH I THOUGHT THERE WOULD BE GUNS AND TRAIN ROBBING”
Posting another excerpt from What's in a Name? below the cut. Just because. Taken from Ch.1, this snippet is part of a dream sequence between Ilya and his mother. (please imagine they're speaking Russian)
“Hm? What did you say?” Irina prods his arm. “Speak up, my darling boy.”
His eyes flutter shut and his body floods with warmth as he recalls how much it used to embarrass him when she called him that. 'Darling boy.' So much. Especially when she did it in front of the other boys because then they’d tease him about it. Laugh and call him a baby, things like that. Typical kid stuff. So many times he’d whined at her to please, please stop calling him stupid baby names, at least in front of the other boys, until eventually she did as he asked. She stopped. No more ‘darling boy.’
If Ilya could go back now and change things, he would. He’d glare down every single one of those boys and tell them that their mothers were miserable old cows who smelled like cabbage and they could all go eat rocks.
“I’m only half a Rozanov now, mama,” he says with quiet pride. “I got married. New last name is Hollander-Rozanov.”
“Oh, that’s wonderful!” Irina squeals, showering him with congratulations and kisses all over his face. “Tell me everything about him!”
“His name is Shane.” Ilya’s voice lilts happily. Almost musically. “You would love him so much. He’s so sweet and gentle, and he has freckles, and brown eyes, and a perfect heart. He’s even a great hockey player. Almost as good as me,” He grins, holding his thumb and forefinger barely a wisp apart. “This close. He fucking loves the ice.”
“Language!”
“Sorry, mama.”
“The mouth on you! You'd better not be cussing like that in front of Shane’s parents!”
“I’m a grown man!” Ilya laughs and wriggles out of his mother’s embrace to kick snow at her, but she anticipates the move and kicks back. The two exchange fire for quite a long while before calling a truce, breathless from laughing and shouting mild pretend ‘insults’ at one another.
Irina smooths down her darling boy’s mussed up hair as he settles his head on her shoulder. “Hollander-Rozanov. Hmmmm . . . okay, yes. I think I could get used to it. But why not go by Hollander if you hate your father’s name as much as I do?”
“I don’t know,” Ilya shrugs. “Most couples like us hyphenate, sooooo . . . I guess that’s just what we did.”
“Well, is there a strict law against changing it twice?” Irina scoffs.
“No.”
“No there is not?”
“No!”
“So why not do it, then?”
*********** Tor read from the beginning click HERE, it's a short and sweet 2 chapter completed work. No smut, lots of family and nostalgia.
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
FINALLY got this chapter posted a few days ago and forgot to come here and wave it around for attention and praise. Don't know what the fuck I was thinking, but anyway, there it is!!!! Excerpt below the cut. *cue joyful parade*
Chapter synopsis: Ilya asks David and Yuna permission to take their name, gets a gift from David, and an old man named Winston helps him do something amazing. [To go to Ch.1 click HERE.]
Ilya rubs sweaty palms together under the table. They’re cold. Why the fuck am I so nervous? He wonders. Shane is right, they’re absolutely going to say yes and then we’ll have tea and cookies! But his body apparently isn’t convinced and he has to press a firm palm down on one knee to stop it from bouncing frenetically. When he feels Shane’s warm hand settle on top of his, patting gently, the touch provides him with a rush of confidence.
Okay, let’s do this. He clears his throat and jumps in. “So, you both know a little bit about my childhood. How it was . . . not so nice.”
“You’ve given us that impression, yes.” David confirms. He’s always had a gut feeling about Ilya’s past. That a lot of his emotional wounds slice deeper than he’ll ever admit to anyone. Possibly even including Shane.
“Well, most of it was because of my dad. Even a lot of the way my brother behaves. It was, well, I think it’s a lot to do with, the start was . . .” he stops to get his thoughts in order and do a little re-sorting. Maybe I’m overthinking this . . . .
There was no real reason for him to unpack decades of ugly backstory in agonizing detail for the Hollanders before getting to his question, but . . . somehow telling them feels right. So he takes a deep, steadying breath, and keeps going. “My father got his hooks in Alexei when we were very little and, um, ‘created a monster’ I think is the expression. Now that I’m older I can see it more clearly. The way he pitted us against eachother, always rewarding Alexei for acting like an asshole–well, ‘being typical boy’ is what he called it. So, my brother was constantly allowed to misbehave while I had to be levelheaded and so fucking focused all the time or else I would ‘bring shame to our family.’”
“What a lovely man,” Yuna mutters under her breath.
“So very.” Ilya nods. “But then every time I did succeed he would brag at the top of his lungs to everyone we knew. To all of Moscow. And totally ignore my brother. Every time I won anything it meant, well . . . Alexei became invisible boy. So,” he shrugs, “we grew up resenting eachother very, very badly. And my poor mother–” he pauses to get control of the growing lump in his throat and waits a moment for it to shrink. “My father, he . . . he cut her down all the time. My mother. Even in public. In front of other people. At family gatherings, formal events, even in the grocery store. Whenever he wanted to feel big, someone else had to feel small. And I think he felt the biggest in front of an audience.”
David frowns and shakes his head in harsh disapproval of the man he’d never get the opportunity to punch in the balls. “I bet you're right, Ilya, that kind of bully thrives on attention. You all deserved better.”
“You really did.” Yuna shudders and wraps her arms around her midsection, hugging tight as a means of self-comfort. To grow up in a home where cruelty was not only common, but blatant and intentional as well? It was something she couldn’t even fathom. Her own parents certainly hadn’t been perfect; but the few genuine emotional scars they’d inflicted during her childhood had been unintentional, and always rooted in a place of good intention, however misguided. If she could have Grigori Rozanov in front of her right now she would shred him to fucking pieces.
Ilya watches Yuna’s jaw tense and her eyes blaze and can’t help but love the way she’s so visibly pissed off on his behalf. It makes him suspect that anyone who tried to bully Shane as a child is probably lucky they survived. “Yes, my father was an awful, horrible man. Annnnnnnd I suppose that brings me to the point. I want to be rid of him. Completely free.”
“Well he is, y’know . . . dead,” David points out the obvious with a confused frown. “I don’t know how much more free of him you could get.”
Ilya chuckles despite the heavy mood. He loves David. “I know this. I know he can never hurt me again, but, I . . . I still carry his name. Still a Rozanov, and, um, I decided last night that I don’t want to be. Not anymore. So, Yuna, David,” he looks each of them respectively in the eye and nods, “with your permission I would like to take your family’s name. Just yours. Shane and I can come back if you’d like to discuss–”
“Discuss? Are you kidding?!” David yelps, leaping out of his chair so he can devastate his son in law’s ribs with a crushing hug.
“Unf,” Ilya grunts as David yanks him to his feet. This man is much stronger than he looks!
“Oh Ilya, you are just the most precious boy!” Yuna warbles, tilting her head up and blinking rapidly to hold the threat of tears at bay as she gets to her feet and waits for David to make room for her.
Shane, meanwhile, remains seated, content to gaze up at this beautiful tableau. His family. The Hollanders.
“Up, up!” Yuna waves her son over to join the huddle.
“Yes, mother.” Shane obeys dutifully, giving Ilya’s neck a quick kiss as he slides into place.
the ratings for Nashville being virtually unchanged once again proves that fandom is only a teeny tiny portion of the viewing audience.
They marketed that episode FOR fandom by sending only the two "hottest" guys to Nashville, but the actual general audience was still like "ok, cool, still don't watch that tho" 🤣
fandom (especially BoBs lbr) always screaming about how many viewers they'll lose or gain depending on Bvddie is the pinnacle of delusion.
Even if we acknowledge that they're the largest faction within fandom, fandom numbers are miniscule in comparison to the GA and on top of that a large contingent of fandom is international viewers who will never count towards US live viewers numbers/ratings anyway.
In conclusion fandom is great especially if people are having fun, but a show catering to it's online fandom is idiotic and exactly why 911 hasn't done so and will never do it with that ship (Mayvi was small stakes, and they didn't have anything plotwise for either of them anyway so why not put them together — also the fact Mayvi happened within 1 episode after never previously interacting should tell Bvddies everything they need to know about the show making ships happen if they wanted to, but of course it won't wouldn't wanna let go of the delusion)
Shocking plot twist: Buck and Eddie both die at the end of 9x13 and their last words to each other are "you've always been the best brother I could have asked for" and everyone is pissed.
“Buck NDE and Eddie realizes his feelings” girl Buck has one NDE every year and he’s lucky if Eddie acknowledges it before telling him he’s being selfish about it. There’s never going to be a NDE Feelings Realization.
I'm sure we're just not MEDIA LITERATE enough to interpret canon events correctly and soon we'll all be feeling really, really fucking stupid. So, so, so soon. It's going to be so embarrassing for us!
The Rozanov family treated Ilya like shit. Who knows what his mother's maiden name was, but Gregori Rozanov created a horrible, toxic family environment for all of them. So I really wouldn't mind if Ilya decides to take Shane's name when they get married. The Hollander family welcomed him into the fold practically the moment they found out about his relationship with Shane and they've treated him the way his own family should have.
I think it could be an interesting plotline if, in the months after he and Shane get married, he starts thinking more and more about what it would feel like to symbolically erase the side of his family that robbed him of a happy childhood (and likely played a huge role in pushing his mother over the edge as well). To wash them from his body in every sense but dna.
I can imagine Shane being fine with it but Ilya insisting they need Yuna and David's permission too because it was their name first. Personally I wouldn't care about that kind of formal gesture but Ilya strikes me as the kind of guy who would. Obviously they would love the idea and Ilya would be super relieved because he'd been having anxiety nightmares of them being horribly offended. In my head it's a really sweet, wholesome, (and kinda funny) scene.
My original was to spend today working on on Ch.4 of Evolution, but it seems I'm more inspired to paint at the moment. So in the meantime HERE is another excerpt from Ch.1 below the cut. There's no smut in the 1st (very short) chapter, but it does show up later on. Hopefully I'll be inspired to work in Ch.4 tomorrow.
Ilya’s situation was different. Only after the fact did he realize he had ventured into uncharted waters. It happened the day he was sitting in a Boston airport surrounded by teammates and counting the seconds until he could finally see Shane again and fuck him senseless. Then the stupid shitty weather ruined everything. Flight cancelled. Two feet of goddamn snow. Normally it would be a minor annoyance for Ilya. Hookup canceled? Whatever. He would just masturbate the frustration away or maybe fuck someone else; no big deal. But the moment he heard the words ‘flight canceled’ all he wanted to do was find someplace dark and quiet to hide until the next chance to feel Shane's breath on his skin came around.
That was when he woke up to the obnoxious reality of his situation. He was attached. Locked in. The exact opposite of his intention, and he kind of resented Shane for it too. Shane could have just rejected him that day in the showers and never mentioned it again. Ilya wouldn’t have kept pushing, he wasn’t a total creep. He would have dropped it and life would have moved along as usual. Normal. Meeting and fucking new people, turning to Svetlana when he needed closer companionship, sometimes with sex, sometimes not. Life would have been fine and breezy. But no, no, Shane had welcomed his advances so now he was trapped in a riptide that kept pulling him downstream toward an unmapped edge while he struggled to stay within reaching distance of normalcy.
Shane did this. Created this mess. It was all his fault. Boring Shane. Uptight Shane. Shane the overthinker. Shane the giver of magnificent blowjobs. Fuck him. Fuck his sweet dark puppy eyes; fuck his pale freckles; fuck his obsession with ginger ale; fuck all of it.
So I finally posted Ch.3 of Evolution, titled Together. Available HERE.
Chapter Synopsis: this is Ilya's POV of things that happened in Episode 5. Excerpt below the cut.
For now I'm stuck in hell. No other word for it. I see things about him and Rose Landry all the fucking time. Everywhere. The media loves them. Fans love them. I hate it. Mostly because I can’t stop clicking on them; the bullshit articles and tiktoks and entertainment tv. They make me want to scream and punch things but yes, yes, I do watch every single one. I can't stop myself and I don't fucking understand why. Maybe I just want to suffer, is that it? Fine, whatever. Who cares anyway? Fuck, why do I have to be this person?! I should just be boring like Hollander.
STOP THINKING ABOUT HIM! . . . Oh look, another insta post.
I click. Fuck me.
I try meeting new people at clubs, too. Mostly fail except a few decent blowjobs, but nothing great. And always I have to think of Shane to finish. No, he is Hollander! I yell at myself. If there is a second chance for us, you can never EVER call him Shane again!
Honestly, now I’m glad he freaked out and ran away. Becoming more like real couple would have been bad for both of us, only playing pretend. I see that now. Yes, Hollander did the right thing. Maybe for stupid fucking reasons, but in the long run it will be better. If there is a ‘long run’ for us. There might not be. He and Rose could get married and have a million boring babies.
Jesus, what a fucking nightmare my life is.
I read final picks for All-Star game and see his name on the list. He will be there. More than that, we are on same team. This is either really great news for me, or terrible. We'll find out, I guess. The league hosts a social event for the All-Star players every year. A mixer. ‘Meet-and-Greet’ they call it because Americans like things that rhyme. It’s meant to be for team bonding since not all the players know eachother well. Whatever, I don’t care. Is stupid. Or it would be stupid, except that it will be a chance for Hollander and I to . . .
I mean, at least we will talk. Yeah, for sure talk. Then again, he might not even show up to the meet and greet. Is not mandatory. I bet won't show up. Boyfriend of biggest ever movie star has no time for peasant hockey players, right? We're beneath him now.
Yes, I am bitter. I like bitter, is normal for me. Fuck off.
But what if he does show up and brings Rose as his date?
Fucking nightmare. At first I am dreading this until Svetlana points out something interesting. The night before I leave for Florida she notices all the pictures she can find of Rose and Hollander online are more than two weeks old. I have no idea why she went hunting for this stuff, but she did. Anyhow, yes, fans are still making their tiktoks and whatever about them, but all with old material. At least according to Svetlana.
Maybe they break up? . . . No, probably he just convinced her to give up being fun and stay home together reading New Yorker until they die. Just in case, though . . .
The day of social mixer I put on my bright red hawaiian shirt. Is new. Not me at all but I need to stand out so he’ll notice me even in a crowded room. If he avoids me on purpose, then . . . well, at least I'll know to keep my distance. For now. But if he and Rose are over I bet a million dollars and a pickle we hook up this weekend. He must miss me. For sure he misses me.
Don't worry, I tell myself. If Hollander is single again it's a done deal between us. The moment we see eachother, back to normal. I convince myself of this. I have to believe it or I’ll go crazy.
His room, my room, wherever. It will be as if all these bullshit months never happened. As if I never asked him to stay the night like stupid fucking idiot and he never went running into the arms of that, that . . . dammit, I do try really hard not to hate her. Is not her fault. Anyway, if she's out of the picture things can go back to normal. Same as before.
I enjoy him in person when I can, flirt over text when we’re apart, and that’s how life will be. Not so bad, right?
I sit at the bar, order a beer, and wait. I try to sip slowly, but by the time he finally shows up my drink is almost gone. He sits down next to me. Close enough to touch. Or lick, like popsicle. I tell my stomach and heart to calm down because they’re doing crazy things to my body and if they don’t chill the fuck out I might throw up.
Get yourself together Rozanov! So he’s here, so what? Means nothing. For all you know his serious girlfriend hot sexy beautiful big time movie star Rose Landry, winner of two Golden Globes and an Emmy and co-owner of a sushi bar in California is just running late. Will show up any minute. Probably wearing Armani Beauty makeup too unless those four commercials she did were bullshit. FUCK!!! FUCKING SAY SOMETHING RIGHT NOW!
********Click HERE for the rest. Or to read from the beginning go HERE
Having recently seen an elderly relative through their end of life journey, I now feel emotionally ready to get back to playing with my favorite ken dolls! Yay for me! **and there was much rejoicing** (kudos to anyone who gets that reference)
The three times that we have seen Alex working are:
The grocery store hostage scene. Where she is the one to suggest that they go in to help the PTSD veteran face to face. As much as people disagree with this course of action, it's shown to work perfectly well. At least until Eddie doesn't stop keying the radio. It's actually Eddie that ruins the plan, Alex had nothing to do with that
The dinner intervention. While the intervention did end with Hen passed out, that is not Alex's fault. She was there to be a mediator, helping them get back on track more than a few times. She is the one who encourages Hen to open up and finally admit to all of the feelings that she's been bottling up.
Eddie calls Alex for housing placement for Abigail. We know this is extremely last minute, but still Alex shows up with a plan, a place for her to stay. Yes, it's faith based housing, but last minute emergency placements are gonna get what they got. Not to mention, if the writers are smart (jury is out in that one), they'll make that part of Abigails ending. Finding a community that is faith based, but not awful. Teaching her she doesn't have to give up god just because her religion was used against her growing up. Kind of like Eddie reconnecting with his own faith in 9x05 but without feeling like he needs to go to church anymore. Some people also mention her acting 'weird' on the background of one scene but idk if I put any stock into that.
So no, Alex isn't bad at her job, some of you are just primed to immediately hate new women on this show. Even if she ends up not dating Eddie, having a therapist/social worker on call is an interesting new angle to explore.
It's just really telling that some of you went immediately to this new woman is evil and incompetent.
I'm working on Ch. 3 of Evolution at the moment, title to be determined. The rough draft turned out longer than I expected and will probably take a few days to edit, but go ahead and check out an excerpt below the cut. It's Ilya's POV of a few things that happen in episode 5.
I read final picks for All-Star game and see his name on the list. He will be there. More than that, we are on same team. This is either great news for me, or terrible. Only time will tell. The league hosts a social event for the All-Star players every year. A mixer. ‘Meet-and-Greet’ they call it because Americans like things that rhyme. It’s meant to be good for team bonding since not all of the players know eachother very well. Whatever, I don’t care. Is stupid. Or would be stupid, except it will be a chance for Hollander and I to . . . I mean, at least we will talk. Yes, for sure talk.
He might not show up though, the meet and greet is not mandatory thing. I bet he doesn't show up. Boyfriend of biggest movie star ever has no time for hockey player peasants, right?
Yes, I am bitter. I like bitter, is normal for me. Fuck off.
But what if he does show up and brings Rose as his date?
At first I am dreading this idea until Svetlana points out something interesting. The night before I leave for Florida she notices that all the pictures of Hollander and Rose together are more than two weeks old. Sure, fans are still making bullshit tiktoks about them or whatever, but all with old material. At least according to Svetlana.
Maybe they broke up? . . . No, no, he probably just convinced her they should give up being fun and stay home reading New Yorker together until they die. Just in case, though . . .
The day of social mixer I put on my bright red hawaiian shirt. Is new. Not me at all but I need to stand out so he’ll see me even if the room is crowded. Even if he does spot me and avoids me on purpose then at least then I will know to keep my distance for now. But . . . if he and Rose are over? I bet a million dollars and a pickle we hook up.
Yes, absolutely. If Hollander is single now it will be done deal the moment we see eachother. Back to normal. I convince myself of this. I have to believe it or I’ll go crazy.
His room, my room, wherever. It will be as if all these bullshit months never happened. As if I never asked him to stay the night at my place like fucking idiot and he never dated that fucking actress! Things can be exactly like before and we won't ever have to speak of these wasted months again.
I'll enjoy him in person when I can, flirt over text when we’re apart, and that’s how life will be. Not so bad, right? Right.
I sit at the bar, order a beer, and wait. I try to sip slowly, but by the time he finally shows up my drink is almost gone. He sits down next to me. Close enough to touch--or lick, like popsicle. I tell my stomach and heart to calm down because they’re doing crazy horrible things in my body right now and if they don't chill the fuck out I might throw up.
STOP IT! So he’s here, so what? Means nothing. For all you know his serious girlfriend hot sexy beautiful big time movie star Rose Landry, winner of two Golden Globes and an Emmy and co-owner of a sushi bar in California is just running late. Will show up any minute. Probably wearing Armani Beauty makeup too, if those four commercials she did aren’t bullshit. FUCK!!! FUCKING SAY SOMETHING RIGHT NOW, IDIOT!
Apparently gay Eddie canon is totally happening tonight--or a BIG gay Eddie hint. Well guys, it's been fun but I guess now is the time to pack up our sandbox toys and go home.
--or--
We could all gather together and watch it NOT HAPPEN again for the 100,000th time . . . I don't know, y'all. I'm torn.
My favorite thing about the cottage is that Shane and Ilya became exclusive, planned to spend two weeks together, came up with a plan to literally be together forever... THEN said I love you... THEN decided they were boyfriends. The most backwards relationship to ever do it I would die for both of them
