Yes! Yes! Yessss!

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Love Begins
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Peter Solarz

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@cocarpenter2015-blog
Yes! Yes! Yessss!
Redyed my hair today indigo blue. Was kind of feeling myself lol
Preach!
The same person its been for nearly 2 years, and it's broken my heart for the past 4 months...
Yes they do, especially when they can't look into yours...
Love (Part 1)
I wasn’t going to begin with this story, but this story is the entire reason that my Twitter and this blog exists. I guess it’s only fitting that I would post this story one year to the day that he said he loved me for the first time. It was one of the best days of my life. I actually cried when he looked me in the eyes and said “I love you too.” I was so happy. It was almost like that day was the day that I really started living; if anything, March 20, 2017 was the day that I stopped living. I will have to break this story down into parts because it is quite extensive.
October 4, 2015 is not a day that I will ever forget. It was that night that my life changed forever. 12 years earlier, I had graduated from high school. I went to one of the not-so-greatest high schools in the city, but I was an exceptional student. I won awards. My test scores were the stuff of legend. But I wasn’t the only one. There was another student there whose academic achievements were also legend. It seemed there was a silent competition between us and I had never even heard his voice, or didn’t remember it. We ran in entirely different circles. I had my friends, he had his. By the time we graduated, he was Mr. 4.0, destined to do something academically great in college. I was Miss 3.8, right behind him. If we had had the system which awards valedictorian and such, he would have been the Valedictorian; I would have been Salutatorian. When I found out that he had gotten a perfect GPA, I was mad it wasn’t me. I cursed his name, but figured I’d never see him again. I forgot that reunions exist.
On October 26, 2013, my class had its 10th reunion. I helped plan it. I’m sure that I saw him that night, but I wasn’t paying attention to him or anyone else really. By then, I had lived a lot of life. I had gone through college, gotten married, gotten two Bachelors degree, had a miscarriage, gotten divorced, dated some guys, made some mistakes, gotten a Masters degree. So when someone told me later that he had been at the reunion, I didn’t even pay attention. Remember, he was the guy that was always one step ahead of me academically. I didn’t know what he had done since graduating high school. He was just some guy I went to high school with. October 4, 2015 changed all of that.
In July 2015, I had quit a crappy job working contracted security and entered into the Corrections world. On October 4, 2015, with less than 3 months Corrections experience under my belt, I was scheduled off of my normal shift – third – to be on loan to second shift. I remember vividly sitting in our camera room watching the monitors and hearing the ‘ping’ of Facebook messenger pop up on my phone. I recognized the name of the person messaging me. It was HIM. It started off simple enough. He told me congratulations for getting a job in corrections. I told him where I worked and he said that he had been there before on official business. I asked him if he was a paramedic because we got tons in and out all the time. He informed me that he was a police officer and had had to make some runs to where I work.
Needless to say, I was stunned. The high school nerd became a cop? WTF. He then sent me a picture of himself sitting in his patrol car…and my heart just…stopped. What I saw was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen in my life. It was him, but it didn’t look like him. No glasses. No sideburns. With the cutest little smirk ever. I couldn’t believe how much he had changed. Within a few minutes of the conversation, he remarked that since we worked in the same division, maybe he could take me to lunch sometime and that if we needed anything while he was on duty to give him a shout. I don’t know if he was just trying to play it cool or what, but it worked. I went out to smoke that night amazed. The high school nerd was messaging me and flirting with me. I was in shock but I had the biggest smile on my face. I got his phone number that night and he got mine.
A few days later, I was on my normal shift and he mentioned that he got off work at 11:30pm. He asked me if I’d like him to come up to meet me at work. I said sure. I put some makeup and perfume on. I fixed my hair. I got my badass attitude going on. He messaged me when he was in the parking lot, telling me to look for his red Mustang. So, of course, I made sure that I looked like the tough Corrections Officer I’m supposed to be, I walked out the front door, and…it was like I was struck by a bolt of lightning. I saw him. I saw him standing by his car and he immediately smiled. I tried not to stumble as I walked toward him, but I could feel my knees coming out from under me. I gave him a hug…and I swear…it was like none other I’d ever had in my life. We talked for a bit and I could see this light in his eyes. Because of previous issues I’ve had to deal with, which I will talk about later, I’m never comfortable looking people in the eye. But that night…looking into those deep brown eyes…my natural reaction was to look away but somehow I kept staring. I can’t remember how long we talked because I didn’t want it to end, even though I knew when he left, we would end up talking on the phone or texting or something. He later told me after that first meeting that he had wanted to kiss me that night but didn’t want to embarrass me since some people I work around had come outside at one point.
Over the next few weeks, whenever I was at work and he was getting off of work, he would come see me in the parking lot. By then, we were hugging and kissing each other hello and goodbye. It was the most simple beginning of a romance that I had ever had. His very presence made me feel better, even on shitty days. I would wake up in the afternoon to go to class and the first thing I’d look for is a text from him. When he hadn’t texted me yet, I’d be sad. Seeing his name though made my day. On October 26, 2015, we went out on our first official date. I picked him up from his house and we went to Red Lobster. We spent the time smiling at each other and talking. I suggested we go to the mall close by. We went through the mall holding hands. I suggested some cologne for him to buy at Macy’s – Gucci Guilty. I had to go to school that day so I had to drop him back off, but I remember how happy I was. I was so monumentally happy. For the next month, we were calling each other “sorta boyfriend” and “sorta girlfriend.” Within that time period, I met his family…and his ex-girlfriend. I was so surprised when his stepmother dressed down his ex in front of me and called me his new girlfriend. I turned so beet red. By then, I guess we decided it was official and we eventually declared October 26 as our anniversary…
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This...just so much this...
Beginner Workout Tips
I know a lot of guys wanna improve their strength, and summer is definitely a good time for that. Many of us have more free time now that it’s summer. Perfect time to try out the gym. If you’re thinking of working on getting go the gym more this summer, I have a few tips that could really help:
Starting off is tough. Get through 2 weeks, though, and you’ll probably be able to make going to the gym a consistent habit! The first week is definitely the hardest. If you can, find a friend to work out with. Put the offer out there, and you’d be surprised who might say yes. It’s definitely more motivating to go when you have a friend going with you. It’ll keep you both accountable, on track, and motivated. Trust me, it worked for me back when I first decided to get serious about exercising.
Start taking a multi-vitamin. Sure, you should be able to get enough nutrition from food alone, but some diets have holes in them and multi-vitamins can fill those in. If you don’t have proper nutrition, you won’t see results, and you might actually strain your body. I know not all of us make the best food decisions every day. This will help your body stay on track.
Increase your protein intake on days you work out. When you lift weights, this is especially important. Meats are all high in protein. Try and make choices that tend to be lower in fats. Eggs are your best friends! Fish is great, and omega oils are Good for you, yo. Beans, peanut butter, nuts, milk, and yogurt all have protein, too (and the dairy items have calcium! an extra plus!), so don’t stress if you can’t have meat! And while we’re on the subject of protein, this is extremely important to point out: Protein shakes are NEVER a meal-replacement. Skipping meals or eating less than 2000 calories (if you’re counting) will hurt you. Seriously. Don’t do that. Protein shakes are meant to be consumed after workouts, unless they are specifically pre-workout shakes. Whey protein will be tough on those of you who are lactose-intolerant, because it’s made from milk, so even though it’s typically cheaper than other plant-based protein powders, the extra money will help you not feel terrible. The easiest on the stomach, I have found, are rice-based protein powders. If the store has little individual packets, buy different flavors and different ones to see which one(s) you like best. I personally am partial to the generic CVS chocolate flavored whey powder.
If you are just starting out on lifting, do NOT go heavy. Your muscles will build p strength faster than your tendons, so you could hurt yourself if you try to go too heavy too fast. If something hurts, do NOT do the exercise. Know your limits, and never push yourself to a crazy degree. I know you wanna impress your friends you’re at the gym with, or even the cute person you’ve been eyeing across the gym, but if you hurt yourself, you will look like a huge fool. It will ruin you. Don’t. Instead, do lighter weights with higher reps. I usually go for 3 sets of 10 reps, but you can go for anywhere from 8-12 reps. Only after you have built up a certain degree of strength would I even attempt to go heavier and even target certain body parts and muscle groups more intensely than others.
Have at least 2 rest days! Rest days are important. Your body needs to recover, or else it will never grow. You’ll also just exhaust yourself, and that’s not good. Use your rest days to just chill out. Stay hydrated and stretch so the soreness from your gym days won’t make you stiff and will dissipate faster!
Split your lift days by muscle-groups. This will keep your workouts structured and keep your body’s development proportional. I divide my days up like this: pull day (biceps and back), push day (triceps and chest with some shoulders), leg day (and yeah, don’t skip it), and shoulder day (since I just really want mine to develop well lol). I do abs every time, after I lift, but you can also do them before. Don’t skimp out with abs. Sure, it hurts, but the results are great. Core strength will really help with overall strength! I do at least 5 weight-lifting exercises for each designated day. Stretch before, and then get going! If you are unsure about your form for an exercise, most gyms have personal trainers who are willing to help you. Don’t be afraid to ask them a question! Youtube is also a great resource for videos on form. I like AthleanX’s videos, as well as Gabriel Sey’s, and Buff Dudes. Proper form is extremely important, otherwise you could strain your body or even seriously injure yourself. It’s especially important for heavier exercises.
Cardio days are good for you! Have at least 1 cardio day in your week! Walking, biking, jogging, dancing, and the elliptical are great for cardio. Swimming is also good cardio, but as a poor swimmer myself, I don’t really get much of a workout from it. If you have friends who like to play sports, soccer, basketball, etc are great for getting in some cardio and also making it fun (because jogging is honestly boring unless you jog outside or have a killer playlist). Speaking of jogging, I know this may sound silly to some of you, but try not to jog at night, especially if you’re a younger guy. Safety is important, and believe it or not, younger men in their 20s are the most common victims of violent crime. Know where you are, jog with a friend or two, be aware of your surroundings (if your music is so loud you can’t hear the cars passing by, turn it down a notch), and have your phone available in case you need to make a call. If things look iffy, call it a night and go home. If you’re in a hospital (or freaking dead), you won’t be working out much anymore.
This may sound silly, but celebrate your results! Get excited over your gains. Take selfies, flex in the mirror, admire those veins that pop that weren’t there before. Also, little tip: the secret to getting arms that look bigger is working your triceps. They’re more of your arms than your biceps, so even though nice biceps look hot, good triceps will make you look stronger. It’ll make you look impressive! And being excited about your results from all your hard work will help keep you motivated!
Those are a lot of tips, so that’s enough for now. If you have questions that are more specific, my ask box is open and you can even message me if you’d prefer. Don’t be afraid if you don’t know anything about working out – that was once me, too. I ain’t gonna judge you, yo. Like I said, I don’t have any professional knowledge, but I figured some of what I know may be helpful. I won’t be able to answer every question you send my way, but if I can find a video or article that can, I will definitely send that your way instead. Have fun, and try and stay motivated! Best of luck on them gains, yo.
Introduction
In March or April 2017, I started a Twitter account which allowed me to vent about my current issues in a place where very few people would have access to my most intimate thoughts. I needed that haven. However, I have realized that my thoughts are a lot more extensive than those 140 words allowed. So, I have started this Tumblr. I have had many Tumblr accounts in my time but this is by far the most personal.
To introduce myself, I'm 32 years old. Born and raised in Kentucky. For the past 2 years, I have served as a proud Correctional Officer at a state facility. I am a third-year Doctoral student in Criminal Justice, slated to graduate in May 2018. I have had my share of accomplishments. I've published articles. I've presented at conferences. I've won awards.
2017 has been a horrendously emotional year for me. That is the purpose of this Tumblr. To get that out. To talk about my hopes, my dreams, my wishes, my fears, my aspirations.