Coerulescens

[dogwise]

PRACTICE URGE SURFING

[dogwise]

[teumessianandlaelaps]

Huh, didn't know there was a term for it. This explains why I haven't been drinking as much lately.

[the-uss-premise]

Console buttons from Star Trek: The Original Series (1966-69)

[dark-magician-girl-meets-world]

Culturally significant forbidden candy

[genderkoolaid]

how many nonbinary people have come out publicly only to then semi re-closet themselves because people are so incapable of not being extremely exorsexist towards them immediately... ive seen this happen to nonbinary people across agab we cannot catch a damn break

[genderkoolaid]

also the way people tend to see misgendering nonbinary as like. "softer" or easier or more understandable than misgendering a binary trans person. like it doesn't even really matter, because it's basically just an aesthetic choice, and not anything to be taken that seriously

[genderkoolaid]

#i remember when mr beard came out and immidiately had to go back in the closet#because people were giving him shit for not changing his presentation or pronouns#its really sad

forgot about mr. beard but yeah that made so upset on his behalf!!!!!

and what's annoying is how often binary trans people just don't seem to react? like this is what i mean by people treat misgendering nonbinary people as "softer." a trans man or a trans woman getting harassed back into the closet is a tragedy, a nonbinary person getting harassed back into the closet is just another wednesday for a lot of binary trans people.

[genderkoolaid]

#yeah.#and then when we stand up for ourselves we’re ‘difficult’ and no longer ‘one of the fun chill ones’#i can be chill#but im entitled to the same god damn respect and i will insist upon it#get yourselves right i’m fucking tired

no this too. i do feel there's this. expectation. that all nonbinary people will be rather apathetic about their genders, that the "good" nonbinary people (who isn't "crazy" and "dramatic" and "trying so hard to be woke") don't really care about what pronouns or nouns you use, will be binarize themselves in whatever way is easiest for the binary people & system around them, will be largely unobtrusive about their gender unless it can be a funny joke for binary people (even "inclusive" ones).

& then this feeds into what i described above, binary trans people & cis allies treating nonbinary people being misgendered or going back in the closet as less serious and less tragic and less disruptive than binary people. the assumption that nonbinary people somehow have less stake in being trans, that we never physically transition, that we never have dysphoria, etc. instead of being horrified that recloseting or never coming out ever is so common that so many nonbinary people are so used to repressing their own wants and needs preemptively. using pronouns they don't really connect with just to not be seen as "unreasonable" but it doesn't hurt as bad if its not technically misgendering. there's a lot of pain in the nonbinary community that i think we have never been allowed to fully voice.

[myxinidaes]

holy shit the portugese covers for the imperial radch trilogy are so cool... the colours! the style!! the way the edges of the covers form a pattern together!!!

[draconym]

It's nuts how common it is to not allow children to be angry, even (especially) in households where adults are angry all the time. As a child I knew my own anger was unacceptable--not just expressing it outwardly but feeling it at all. So now as an adult my immediate reaction to my own anger is often to feel guilt instead of like. Noticing when someone is being rude or unfair or my boundaries are being violated or whatever. fucked up.

[jackawful]

to this day "who is allowed to be angry" has been an incredible benchmark for teasing out who, in abusive situations with mutual accusations and DARVO happening, is being abusive and who is being abused. one of my favorite resources about this, the Creative Interventions Toolkit, phrases the question "who sets the weather?" in the relationship and I think about it so so often when I think about my own childhood. I was parentified in a way that set me up for future abusive relationships, because I had to soothe my parents' anger while not being allowed to feel angry myself. I am extremely grateful to everyone outside myself - friends, therapists, partners - who's gotten angry on my behalf about how I'm treated or let me know something I'd been excusing or blaming myself for was actually Not Okay. I guess the good news here is that it's possible to learn how to access anger again in a healthy way, it just takes support, like doing physical therapy for a muscle that didn't develop quite right.

[draconym]

I relate so strongly to this.

This is not to say that feeling anger is abusive; it's human to feel anger. But if you've ever felt like your anger was "unjustified" or were afraid to express it outwardly because you expected it to be dismissed ... ask yourself how you would react if the roles were reversed. I find that a lot of folks who were The Grown Up in a relationship with their parents hold themselves to much different standards than they hold other people.

I've seen plenty of situations that involve two or more people hurting each other and not admitting any fault because they want to protect their own egos. But. Notice when you think you're not entitled to be upset about something. When someone tells you you shouldn't be upset. There's a difference between taking your anger out on other people and just. Being allowed to feel angry.

[blue0909]

Please stop being nonbinary too. God only created one gender. You must conform to that.

THERES ONLY ONE NOW?????

[miketon]

[labcorphehe-deactivated20260118]

tmi stands for tell me immediately

[wheeloffortune-design]

CONTROVERSIAL OPINION ABOUT BISEXUALITY

that purple in the middle is not the right saturation, it doesn't fit with the other two colors and it drives me crazy.

[deus-ex-aquila]

all right, I think I got this, I've got dual citizenship and I have another flag we can borrow from:

step 1

step 2

step 3

[varangianviper]

[wheeloffortune-design]

This is true bi/ace solidarity.

[xthehatchick]

holy shit

[finnslay]

This is the only correct way

[transarsonist]

[Patchnotes]

swapped purple in bisexual and asexual flags for better saturation matching and color theory

[stra-tek]

[greppelheks]

[aro-ace-chaos]

I’m so tired of the “why do people hate aspecs, they aren’t doing anything?” argument. I know that it is an attempt to support us, but it fails so spectacularly to understand aromanticism, asexuality, and any other aspec identity that it’s actively frustrating.

We are doing something. We’re rejecting allonormative ideals and that’s a massive thing to do. We’re actively fighting not just to help other aspecs, but to help everyone, because amatonormativity (and allonormativity as a whole) hurt everyone. Single people who want to find a partner but can’t also deserve to be able to exist.

There are so many issues with the expectation of marriage, including:

A single income isn't enough to get by anymore

Having a spouse is almost necessary under the current medical system

Society shames and pressures people who are single to get into relationships constantly

Rejecting allonormativity means fighting against these things that hurt everyone.

So, no, aces and aros and other aspecs aren't "doing nothing." We're doing quite a lot.

[shy--ent]

And it also implies that other queer people are doing something. Like this isn't even stretching, I've always gotten the impression. The argument is basically "aroace ppl keep to themselves and doesn't bother anyone".

But does that not imply that being of another identity is the opposite? Being openly gay, asking for pronouns to be respected, ting like dat. Things that are more 'overt' and things that can more 'easily' be perceived.

I never liked this argument.

[obriy]

[drarry]

Imagine being the gays at a pride event in 2004 living their lives when someone grabs the microphone and announces to the room that Ronald Reagan was pronounced dead. Can you even imagine the hype, the celebration, the pure elation

[drarry]

This is the Pride Month that It will happen. I feel it in my gay bones

[broken-horn-of-equius]

[aphrostiel]

kira on my sketchbook

[nongunktional]

i do think the negative interpretations of "im probably nonbinary but i have a job right now" are kind of reaching. it's obviously a waste of time to theorize the op's intended meaning, so instead i think it's better to recognize how the phrase can be a useful framing device to criticize how much of a fucking hassle it is to get gendered correctly. "but i have a job" e.g. will face discrimination that could threaten livelihood; e.g. don't have the mental bandwidth to explain gender to others; e.g. don't have the time and energy for the soul-searching necessary to confirm. all three of these are labor issues. yes you could interpret it as "but being nonbinary isn't important enough to worry about", despite that being a blatantly bad-faith read. it's more useful to interpret it as "but being publicly nonbinary requires a lot of social effort that, in many cultural contexts, will create more problems that you can't afford to deal with". like cmon it's a really good jumping off point for productive conversations about queer labor rights

[ruhaniya]

"you should be at the club" i should be by the sea. i should be in the mountains. i should be at the moon. i should be awestruck and rendered speechless by the majesty of the natural world. if you even care.

[aphrostiel]

some of my favorite star trek ships