Because I refuse to let this die! Doctor Who Reactions 1-4
Woo! 4! 4 whole episodes! On a roll! Woo!
Alright, enough gratuitous self-celebration. Let’s get to it.
44:20: home again home again jiggity jig.
43:46: actually, why not tell your mother? Honesty is the best policy, after all.
43:25: god earth is so boring when things aren’t blowing up.
42:56: Doctor who, master kidnapper, is definitely not on the case!
42:36: don’t look at me like that! Months and hours are practically the same in Gallifreyan! Like their and there! Yeah, or language is actually really inconvenient when trying to talk about time.
42:33: I like the smile he had there. Totally isn’t nearly as sorry as he should be.
41:48: bad wolf, bad wolf, bad wolf, it’s bad!
41:28: just tell her the truth. It would probably be easier for everybody involved.
41:11: pretty much, I mean, um, DOH!
40:50: totally deserved that.
40:20: JUST TELL HER! What would be the repercussions of it? Especially if you explain it to her in a calm, orderly fashion? You’re smarter than this, rose, c’mon!
38:55: alright, time to pull a Hudson River landing! Let’s do this!
38:51: alright, a little steep, but you got a clear shot on the left there…
38:47: …or not. You know, whatever. Just... land whenever it suits you.
38:36: “don’t worry guys, I totally got this!”
38:27: oh no. you’re not going to do it.
38:21: YOU BLOODY IDIOT! You had MILES of space on either side of the ONE FUCKING CLOCK TOWER. The SINGULAR tall thing that is between you and the river you manage to hit! IT’S NOT EVEN THAT BIG! Did you just feel like destroying earth property on purpose? Did you stop to consider that crashing into solid objects generally damages a ship, something that considering the SMOKE COMING OFF YOUR SHIP you should probably be avoiding?
38:13: yep. Perfect landing. Screw you, aliens.
37:19: considering the sheer amount of knowledge the doctor seems to possess about modern earth history, I am kind of surprised that first contact didn’t catch his attention.
37:45:… BY ALIEN INCOMPETENCE; CONSIDERED A FAILED CONTACT; ALIENS ASKING FOR “SECOND GO AT IT”; MORE ONCE THE PARLIAMENT DECIDES WHETHER FIRST IMPRESSION IMPLIES ONLY ONE SHOT, OR THE FIRST ONE YOU PERSONALLY COUNT
36:37: boy am I glad that humans are so great. Alien makes a crash landing in your river? Loot the neighbors! World monument destroyed? Loot the neighbors! Historic first contact occurring in your city, a city whose populace will give the first impression to an entire hyper-advanced species? Arson!
35:40: you say that like it’s a surprise or something that literally everybody had not already guessed. I would be more surprised if it was a secret spy craft from France at this point.
35:04: “john, the government is telling us to shut down. They have an emergency broadcast!” “Keep running” “Sir, I don’t think we can do that. An alien landed in London.” “WELL THAT’S JUST TOO BAD. I WILL NOT DENY THE GOOD PEOPLE OF BRITIAN MY COOKING ADVICE!”
34:58: “John, can we at least make it space themed?” “Fine. But it has to look really stupid. I won’t have these aliens getting the spotlight that only I deserve!”
34:47: “What do you mean international news networks have footage of us dragging a body out of the ship? It was… an air balloon! Yes and air balloon within a bigger air balloon. An air balloon that piloted its air balloon into big ben and then deflated. Yep… briefing over.”
33:52: yes, general, it was a hoax. Somebody invented a space-ship just to fuck with you. You know those Russians!
33:09: way to blow protocol there, lady. You don’t see any of the soldiers questioning the general during a national crisis.
32:38: I know nothing about British government, but that sounds like a committee that might actually exist. Poor, sad fools.
32:12: I like the look of utter dejection and shock on her face. Like she still expected to get in at this point. How did she get high enough to talk to the prime minister with that level of intellect?
32:01: so unlike in America, where the power of the presidency is passed on only when the current president is completely unable to run the government, in Britain it just happens when the prime minister isn’t on the scene fast enough? If some low-level flunky flew to a foreign country where a British person got murdered, could they declare war as “acting prime minister”?
31:49: couldn’t you just helicopter in somebody? Is the entire parliament out of town right now? This seems like a major flaw in your infrastructure.
31:23: wait, those exist? I want to be the guy who writes those things! That sounds so cool!
31:17: even after watching the king’s speech, I figure the constant farting would be far harder to lead with then a speech impediment.
30:27: racist doctor! Or, rather, speciest doctor! Species-ist? You know what, bigoted. Bigoted Doctor!
30:07: poor way of making first contact. Destroying big ben and all.
28:28: poor mickey. One day you will show you are best human. One day.
28:00: doctor, since when have sledgehammers been good repair tools? That is explicitly the opposite of what they supposed to do.
26:43: dick way of saying it, but yeah, that’s probably the correct response to being accosted by random parliamentarians during this event.
26:12: I really, really hope there are security camera’s in this room. Because I’m fairly sure this is all kinds of illegal.
25:00: call security. Call it. Do it. Do it before you die.
24:40: call security. You are a doctor. More importantly, you are a responsible adult.
24:01: you know what? You deserve to die at this point. The building is crawling with security and armed guards, but you decide that your 130 pound body can take on any threat violently smashing itself against the door.
23:27: you didn’t get that during the several minutes you listened to it bang around its storage box?
23:10: Woo, military guys, being methodical and smart and all! At least some of the humans in the building are competent.
23:00: lady you could have warned me before I sent away the heavily armed guards. Do you just have a pathological fear of the military or something?
22:20: at least, one person in this entire series, when confronted with a direct threat, does something besides cringe! I’m starting too really like this episode.
22:07: that was the least dignified combat that soldier will ever see. Ever.
22:04: because it was a screaming alien and also BECAUSE IT’S WHAT I GET PAYED TO DO.
21:58: well I’m sorry I couldn’t pick up the emotional cues of a horrific beast running straight at me! If it was so scared, why was it charging me like an angry boar?
20:44: ah. That explains why this guy is still prime minister… wait, why did anybody actually listen to him when he said “Don’t fly in, guys, I got this.”?
20:25: hurray! ...wait, sudden music sting. Uh oh.
19:51: alright, general, pull a gun on them! I know you can do it!
19:38: …I guess no hard feelings. I salute you, only upper-tier government guy with any sense.
18:53: please, call me by my full title…Doctor… BATMAN! (credits roll)
18:33: years later you’ll all look back and realize you toasted the xeno-americans with what had become a racial slur. You monsters.
18:27: T.V. talking about the royal family makes me wonder: could the queen start running things now? She seems to be the only one around and competent. I wonder if she couldn’t take over Britain for a day, like a roman dictatorship kind of dealy.
17:04: Yeah, mickey, he’s just infinitely more important than you! Even if we got married, he would be 1,000 times more important than you could even be! I pour ceaseless abuse on you and expect you to take it all and additionally my subtle disdain for humanity as a whole! I don’t even know why I still go out with you, except that you’re the only person strong enough to take my bile!
16:41: should have told her. Should have. No reason not to. If you had a reason this might be kind of interesting, but you “just couldn’t”. Darn you rose.
16:05: Interesting. Doctor feels totally justified in his actions, or at least doesn’t seem to care about the consequences. Or doesn’t want to address them, so hides behind the first two.
14:30: you know that guy that has done nothing but aid us in the past? He gets a red alert. He is the biggest threat Britain has ever known. We cannot allow his charity and benevolence to continue, the scum.
13:51: no, mickey, don’t fall for it! This is how abusive relationships work! Abuse, followed by apology, followed by abuse! Get out of it now, before rose sucks you into her terrible personal problems!
11:51: I was going to ask how they were going to cover up the general disappearing, but I guess Oliver isn’t important enough to be noticed.
11:02: so for the guy that you regularly consult, you have a red alert? Seems a bit confusing, honestly.
10:11: because that worked perfectly last time. Maybe this time don’t choose a place within line of sight of a large residential area?
9:58: WE WISH TO CONSULT WITH YOU ABOUT THE RECENT LANDING! EVERYTHING YOU SAID CAN AND WILL BE USED AGAINST YOU! THIS IS THE BEST WAY TO ENTICE YOU INTO WORKING WITH US!
9:42: go mickey go! Man, he can run. I wouldn’t have expected it out of a computer expert.
9:22: I don’t know why, but I think that a police car probably isn’t the most secure form of transport, especially with aliens involved. Got any armored trucks or something?
9:09: then why this big charade with arresting you? It seems like they could have just escorted you without that bit.
5:30: why did you not show this to a guard? You know, somebody qualified to do this? WHY DOES NOBODY GO FOR THE GAURDS?
4:00: yeah, kind of surprised nobody caught that. Like I said earlier, serious problems with you infrastructure, especially the communication.
3:27: not even trying anymore. It’s not like the guards suddenly disappeared or anything. Arguably, when you’re in a room surrounded by alien experts, you are actually in a worse situation then a room full of guards.
3:17: yeah, so does anybody want to call the guards? Anybody?
2:45: nobody? FINE. You ALL deserve to die. you all had something like a solid half-minute in which to act, and not a single one of you, experts, doctor, or government officials, tried to do anything. Screw you guys!
2:09: minute and a half, and everybody is still standing around.
2:04: damn it, we’re back to the “cringe slighty” defense strategy! We were so close to escaping that!
1:45: really guys, really? He just pulled out what is obviously a detonator of some kind, and you did nothing. This is something even regular humans know is bad! Why is nobody doing anything!
1:38: Humanity is so fucking incompetent that even its finest experts stare at their field of study with mild puzzlement and shrug in apathy. And then get killed.
1:24: just once can we see humans do anything to indicate that they will be the dominant species in a short time? Just once? That’s all I ask!
So, that was… infuriating. Infuriating beyond belief. At least, the end part was. Up until then it was mostly great. We got to see the personal consequences of travelling with the Doctor. We got to see the Doctor be a generally terrible person towards mickey, cementing that he isn’t always good. We got a fairly intelligent plot that provided intrigue and action. We had fairly competent villain’s who remained hidden for most of the episode to increase the tension. We had acknowledgement that the Doctor has had an effect on the world around him such that people remember him. We even got to tie up some loose ends with rose’s family and friends. Or at least, starting to tie them up.
Now for the bad things. This episode suffers from “guards? What guards?” syndrome, one I just invented. Surrounded by highly trained soldiers, barely anybody thinks of using them. It also suffers from “It’s evil’s turn” syndrome, again, invented. The last 3 or so minutes consist of a mass of highly intelligent experts and political officials staring at their enemy and doing nothing, as if it was no longer their turn and they could do nothing. Also in this episode we see what I am going to call the beginning of the end for rose. She has turned from a competent and down to earth partner to a bitchy and hateful burden. I don’t know how long I can go before these reactions all turn to poorly spelled leet-speak rants about my utter hatred for rose. Only time will tell.
Also I maintain that an operative of the Dickens’ family attended this meeting. Because damnit I will not let this dream go!
Continuity notes: In 2006 (because it’s been a year), a giant alien ship destroys big ben and crashes into the Thames. The results of this crash and the ensuing alien attacks to be recorded in the next episode, since it is linked to this one. In addition the U.N. has a supernatural response team known as U.N.I.T., which the doctor once worked with.