The calzone zone

Katie | 20 | unsweet tea can kiss my ass.

[guerrillatech]

[whitepeopletwitter]

[wodneswynn-deactivated-deactiva]

“Look at this snake!  He’s grumpy!”  Well, Steve Irwin, if a cloud giant ten hundred times the size of G-d picked me up I think I would probably be grumpy too

[wodneswynn-deactivated-deactiva]

“I’m sorry I’m late.  I was accosted by a colossal beast on my way here.”

“Oh, goodness!  Are you okay?”

“Yes he was actually very polite.”

[cipheramnesia]

[blushing] “he said i was gorgeous”

[insomniac-arrest]

Dark Academia?? I’m sorry. I only subscribe to popofunk tacky academia

if you don’t get dressed at the abandoned clown factory before coming to class then don’t even talk to me.

[whitepeopletwitter]

[deviantlydino]

I think I will reblog this a second time

[pointnclickadventuregame]

has tumblr heard of the ‘salmon chaos’ happening in taiwan yet

[pointnclickadventuregame]

https://twitter.com/nick_kapur/status/1373281874013999111

‘Taiwan was engulfed in “salmon chaos” (鮭魚之亂) this week as more than 300 people legally changed their names to “salmon” (鮭魚) to take advantage of a promotion at a Taiwanese sushi chain.’

‘The Chinese word for salmon (鮭魚) is pronounced “gui yu.” People with a Chinese character in their name pronounced “gui” or “yu” got 10% off, people with two characters pronounced “gui” and “yu” got 50% off, and people with the exact same characters for salmon ate for free.’

‘Sushiro required a national ID card as evidence, but it turns out it’s extremely easy and cheap to legally change your name in Taiwan. It only costs ~$3 US ($80 NTD). This led dozens to rush out and change their names, like this person, who changed their name to “Salmon Liu.”

‘While many simply renamed themselves “Salmon,” others got more creative, such as “Whirlpool Naruto Salmon Xie” (謝渦鳴人鮭魚) and “Die (like salmon) Together Pan” (潘同鮭魚盡), punning on the Chinese idiom for “perish together” (同歸於盡). 5/’

‘One certain Mr. Chen decided to put a whole bunch of other food in his new name as well (in case of future promotions?), becoming the nearly untranslatable “陳愛台灣鮑鮪鮭魚松葉蟹海膽干貝龍蝦和牛肉美福華君品晶華希爾頓凱薩老爺.” ‘

‘Tragedy also struck for some Salmon Gang members, such as this medical student, who did not realize that Tawainese law only allows people to change their name three times ever. Out of name changes, he is stuck with his new name, “Salmon Dream Chang.” ‘

[harrysdimples]

many of the victims senselessly murdered on the 16th do not have family able to pay for a funeral and to lay them to rest peacefully, if you’re able to, please donate and support as much as you can or donate directly to Mario González’s fundraiser for his wife’s funeral service. these people deserve the dignity and respect they deserved while they were with us in life in what we are able to do for them in their passing.

[mariacallous]

This spam email almost got me, tbh.

[kendallroy-deactivated20210425]

the ides of march

[toastbutteregg]

i put trigger warning cause its kinda scary to see initially!!!!

[cetitanhasmoved]

d

[cetitanhasmoved]

this blasts

[ghost-cassette]

I hope it's a cat so we can call him Lil Nyas

[twinklemelo]

we stan one muppet. and its janice

[traditional-latin-math]

Everyone, today is an important date in music history: 

HAPPY TENTH ANNIVERSARY 

[nextlevelwaterpanic]

my newborn child is exploiting an abusive power dynamic by crying until i give them milk

[nextlevelwaterpanic]

[bossykiwi]

Spooky Mingos

Spooky Mingos

Spooky Mingos

Spooky Mingos

Spooky Mingos

Spooky Mingos

Spooky Mingos

[cephalotodd-deactivated20190310]

big bang theory is awful for obvious reasons but honestly shout out to them for inventing “bazinga” so i have a word i can drop into any conversation for a one-hit kill

[schmuddel]

“Bazinga” and “everypony” are the closest we will get to real-world dragon shouts.

[nyanbinyuri]

[srsfunny]

What have I done

[visit-ba-sing-se]

idk who needs to hear this but there is literally nothing that would be “too small” or “too insignificant” to stay alive for. You think birds are cute? Go for another day to see more of them jump around in the snow. You like hot chocolate? Wake up tomorrow to make yourself another cup. You are really into that one (objectively kinda crappy) series? Go until next Wednesday when the new episode airs. You do not always need a great purpose. If you have a small thing that can take you to the next morning? That thing is great. That thing is enough. Go get that thing.