elvish is not dorky, dad

20s ~ bi ~ white ~ any pronouns ~ this started out as a podcast sideblog and now it's just whatever I want! my main is wisegirl-queen ~ tags for stuff I make are my-art and my-edit; meta and original text posts are my-ramblings

[loki-zen]

has anyone considered that it was probably her house too. where else was she supposed to put her chintz?

[cheesefags]

2-YEAR CHEDDAR

from GRAFTON VILLAGE

I usually try to review cheeses virginally - that is, ones that I’ve never had before. In this case, this is a cheddar I’ve had many times before. But I couldn’t leave it off the blog, what with its obvious appeal to leather and rubber fetishists.

As far as cheddars go, Grafton’s 2-year aged isn’t going to shock you. It’s mild, light on the salt, with a slightly sweet and grassy flavour. It’s got a nice texture. It’s dense, more moist than I expected, and smooth.

So what is the deal with the gummi suit on this cheese anyway? Well, cheese has obviously been around a lot longer than fridges. Fresh cheeses like mozzarella are too moist to last very long outside of a cold place (bacteria and fungi do so love damp places), though I don’t think anyone was too mad about eating that stuff quickly. But cheeses that have been aged (and dried) more have some more preservation options, which is where cheese wax comes in. The wax is a physical barrier, stopping fungal spores from landing, and also blocks moisture and air, making the cheese a pretty unfriendly place to grow. Even drier cheeses can be bandaged in cheesecloth and then slathered in lard to preserve them while allowing some ventilation.

I gotta admit: hot wax isn’t really my thing. But cheesecloth bondage and grease… it has potential.

[dumbpuppyfag]

this site used to be awesome

[gaysie]

it’s really so awesome that the brain evolved to let you feel pleasure just from looking at beautiful things like the ocean or mountains or the theatre and television actor known as assad zaman

[manuciruja]

awww the like button turns into a rainbow when you press it! that's so cute...hey staff what's with all the trans women you keep nuking?

[manuciruja]

i think we should be ridiculing them more for this. you don't get to try and go all "queer website" when your staff likes to go on nuking sprees targeting the trans fem users

[smadsel]

would be remiss not to mention that the rainbow notably straight up just removed the trans flag colors from it. like they’re gone. it’s the progress flag minus the trans flag colors.

[smadsel]

that’s not the whole flag, now is it

[manuciruja]

hey staff what the fuck

[villainessbian]

hey staff don't you think you're being too on-the-nose

[shrodingers-catgirl]

HEY STAFF DONT YOU THINK YOU'RE BEING TOO ON-THE-NOSE

[quaintpanic]

I WAS BORN YESTERDAY. I JUST BLEW IN FROM STUPID TOWN. THIS IS MY FIRST RODEO. PLEASE BE PATIENT WITH ME.

[tyrian-red]

my erotic fanfiction is more historically accurate than yours. here it claims that shes moaning 'yes,' however classical latin didn't have a word that corresponds to Modern English 'yes,' i.e. an affirmative answer to an interrogative. You could have easily avoided this glaring implausibility by allowing her to moan plus, 'more'—as exemplified in my critically acclaimed fic with an unprecedented number of kudos (eleven). I recommend that you log out of AO3 and return only after acquiring satisfactory knowledge of the subject matter.

[mereologic]

classical latin did in fact have an affirmative answer to an interrogative (sic), it's just not a cognate with modern english "yes" which is Germanic. but you probably recognize its modern descendants, spanish sí, italian sí, etc.

anyway how this is relevant to this post is that when Dido commits suicide in book 4 of the Aeneid she says "sic, sic! iuvat ire sub umbras" or "yes, yes! with joy i pass beneath the shadows" while stabbing herself, the allegory of penetration accompanied by shouts of ecstasy leading unto death being an interpretative exercise best left to the reader.

[achillesinhighheels]

Do you think protein wants to be in all these things ?

[reticent-vampire]

Louis in An Inside Look at The Vampire Lestat

[37q]

im really glad youre alive. not because i think the cycle of suffering and rebirth is awesome but because we need to keep as many people breathing as we can to ward off Yorul, who can only take a breath when humans arent inhaling or exhaling. one time in 1976 there was a synchronicity where every human alive was between breaths and Yorul took a biiiiiig gasp and was about to split asia into three when a high schooler in iowa named kim took a hit off her friends joint and choked Yorul out

[itsyourproblem]

Is There Any Way To Commit Suicide Without Actually Like Dying Forever Like Any way To just like Make a point

[commander-minkowski]

was trying to make a new post but i coughed and dropped my phone and accidently tried to go to tumblr.com/newt. this is what the post is about now

[commander-minkowski]

i was home sick when i binged the first few seasons of hacks..... now im home sick again....... should i binge the last season of hacks 👀

[badassdemonsword]

i fucking hate my brain so much it never puts any effort into thinking about things i need to do or accomplish instead i have just thought of the phrase "Armpit Andy and Podcast Pete have both died mid-coitus" and i cant stop thinking about it while sitting and looking at pictures of wild boars

[greelin]

they’re burning me at the stake tomorrow. If anyone wants to come

[erodingsinner]

#yes he's committed many crimes #but he literally has big sad wet eyes.

[polari]

if everything is going to gradually become outrage marketing can we at least have some fun with it and do the movie remakes with all-women casts again

[polari]

this summer delainey hayles and bailey bass play the narrator and tyler durden

[fairycosmos]

you literally have to unironically listen to some shit like party rock anthem so you don’t kill yourself