Currently on the way back from a Nashville bachelorette trip for a bride I adore but let’s be honest, she couldn’t make a decision to save her life. The trip was planned (loosely) by her sister, who is equally indecisive, and chaperoned by their mom… who passed that trait down like a family heirloom. Day one, we spent a solid three hours wandering around a sketchy part of Nashville, and I could see the bride slowly spiraling. Her dream bachelorette trip was not bacheloretting.
Up to that point, I’d kept my mouth shut. I was there to go with the flow, let the bride and her sister steer the ship as I went into the trip with full trust they knew what they were doing. But then I remembered: they don’t steer. They don’t plan. They don’t even Google.
So I did a little digging and realized all her Pinterest inspiration pics were from Honky Tonk Highway. Cue my casual suggestion: “Hey, I could go for some live country music.” (Lie. I don’t like country. But the bride LOVES it.) We finally made it there and her face lit up like the neon signs… only to walk around that area for another hour because no one could decide which bar to go into.
Another quick search. “Oh hey, this place has flatbread I could eat.”(Another lie. I wasn’t hungry. But she loves flatbread and she always forgets to eat before drinking.)
We ate, had a few drinks, and wanted to hang out but she didn’t know where to go next. So I tried again: “Wait, this bar’s owned by a country star! How cool is that?” (Not cool to me. I don’t even know who he is. But the bride? My best friend since childhood? She was into it.)
A few drinks in, the bride makes her first real decision of the day: she wants to dance. But it’s still early and if college taught me anything, it’s that the good dance floors don’t fill up until later. So I Googled the best spots. “Wait… is that Morgan Wallen’s bar? I bet that place gets crazy. Let’s grab a table and see what happens.”and Google, once again, did not fail me. It was a blast. We were the first ones there but I made sure to be the first to start the dancing off with the bride.
The next two days? Pretty much the same pattern. If I wasn’t walking in front, we’d just… stop. Like, full standstill in the middle of the sidewalk until someone (me) moved. Asking “Do you want to go here or there?” led to minutes of panicked silence and no progress.
Eventually, I realized the only way to get anything done was to gently take over: suggest a plan in a chill tone and say it like it was already happening. “Hey, I’m heading this way.” Boom. Motion.
I don’t like being leader but I somehow always end up as one in most aspects of my life. This does give me the edge of being a leader who aims to keep everyone’s interest in mind and easily coordinates another’s suggestion, though. A Benevolent dictator as you say.
Moral of the story: decision fatigue is real. Bring a strategist to your bachelorette party. Bonus points if they hate country music but love the bride enough to pretend otherwise.
