This is like a reverse uno card

oozey mess

#extradirty
Jules of Nature
occasionally subtle
wallacepolsom
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
Cosmic Funnies
hello vonnie

pixel skylines
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"

Kaledo Art
RMH
Sade Olutola
$LAYYYTER
cherry valley forever

祝日 / Permanent Vacation
Today's Document
KIROKAZE
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
Not today Justin
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@completelyuniqueusername674
This is like a reverse uno card
I have a theory, that when people choose an animal to keep as a pet, they choose an animal whose personality and care routines complement and support a need of the human. Like getting a prescription for a psychosocial vitamin deficiency.
For example, I am a depressed and reclusive bitch, but taking the dog Charlie out for four walks a day is a great way to meet people and his outgoing little ass does most of the introductory small talk for me. Husbeast is a gregarious person who has difficulty maintaining his living space but the cat Mochi’s housebound nature has kept him company during WFH and helped him figure out how to organize the living space to suit his needs (small mammals like rats and guinea pigs have much the same benefits). Everyone I know who keeps invertebrates and reptiles has self-care and time management difficulties but having to be responsible for a tank animal helps that.
The people I don’t understand are Bird People. What psychosocial vitamin does bird provide?
Anger translator.
@kedreeva you are a Bird Person, are you not?
@gallusrostromegalus I have to assume you are talking about birds outside of psittacines (parrots, keets, cocktiels, etc), passerines (canaries, finches, etc), or columbiformes, because those are all caged birds and would a) provide all the same benefits as a caged reptile, as they all have daily routines and cage cleaning and b) have social requirements for the most part. ESPECIALLY parrots or other highly intelligent birds like mynahs, who can often have intense daily care routines, to the point where they’re basically children… but children you can close in a cage and go out to dinner without, among other things.
So assuming you do not mean cage birds (and maybe a little even if you do), some reasons I keep peafowl:
someone to scream with
soft
so many feathers to collect and decorate with
they are idiots, and this pleases me greatly
they are clever little shits sometimes, and that pleases me greatly too
absolutely cannot predict them, which means Many Stories
beautiful
warm
basically dinosaurs, and sometimes you just need a dinosaur, emotionally
they are assholes, like cats, except if cats had wings and were bigger idiots
they are often extremely long lived, which means they are gonna be around to be assholes for a very long time, unlike some animals that go away after a few years because hearts only beat so long
they have social drama when kept in groups
the moment someone finds out you have peafowl, you become 85% cooler
following the above, you will always have something to talk about when someone wants to know how you are/what you’ve been doing; things which have absolutely nothing to do with your personal life, like who you are or are not dating, or what smutty gay fanfiction you are writing, or anything. It’s like a free pass out of conversations you don’t want to have
following the above- if someone knows you have birds, especially fowl, they will always feel secure in getting you items with that bird on it. This seems weird, but i feel like it reduces anxiety in others, which makes me feel better.
Following the above again, basically no one knows anything about birds, so if you ever need out of something, you can just be like oh man. oh no. I have to do x for the birds today, it’s gotta be today, so sorry about that, can’t do the thing, and people don’t even question it, they’re just like Yes that sounds reasonable birds are probably like that. which is, some might say, deceitful but also sometimes you just don’t want to go to a party that’s super loud with a lot of people or to go see 50 relatives that are all bigots that will drink a lot and talk about sports you don’t care about at all.
they will judge you for 100% free, no charge. you don’t get to know what the criteria or results are, tho, but who doesn’t like free stuff
They will also inspect anything you show them, and judge that too. One of my peacocks will walk to the mailbox with me, and inspect all of my mail for me every day. Again I don’t know what criteria he’s using, but it’s definitely judged “mail”
eggs; but like, not all the time
if you don’t eat the eggs, they turn into babies, which are SUPER cute
birds have Zero reason to befriend you, but sometimes they choose to do it anyway and unlike humans (who can be nice for many reasons and not all of them are nice) or dogs (who come pre-programmed to love basically everyone) or reptiles (who don’t really have the capacity), you know it’s because they genuinely want to do so.
you can just watch them doing their thing. you can come home from work and sit in the yard and watch them walk around and they don’t even care, it’s so peaceful
you instantly become the most amazing and interesting person in the world if you have their favorite treat, but you also can’t get away with teasing them for it because they will 100% ignore you and the treat if they believe their dignity is being compromised
there is something about watching a bird come running over to you to say hi that dogs just cannot compete with, it’s just not the same
no fur!
i cannot overstate how many feathers there are, if you like feathers you just really have to get a bird, there’s no other animal that will give you as many feathers to put in vases
and to answer your question for real though- they force you to chill. If you interact with a bird and you are high-strung, They Know. and unlike other animals that have been bred to domesticity to want to try to fix it, and unlike animals who cannot tell and don’t care, birds are big dumb mirrors. If you’re not calm, they’re not calm. So you learn to be calm. You learn to slow down for them. You have to learn their body language in order to interact with them, which I think in some ways is… I don’t want to say humbling, but it sort of is like that. You can’t really dominate a bird the way you can a dog, you can’t discipline them nearly the same if at all. You… i dunno. you have to be kind, and patient, and listen to them when they are telling you something (however they are telling it to you), or you lose their trust and cooperation and they hold GRUDGES. You have to work with their rules, you have to find middle grounds. You have to respect their boundaries. And they’re very clear about when you haven’t- you always know exactly where you stand with birds, which is kind of a relief after dealing with humans.
also u can do this:
which I think is very important
tag yourself I’m social drama and “they are idiots, this pleases me”
i’m in your walls eating the wood faster than the termites and giving them self esteem issues
In a shitty society that is built on taking as much as you possibly can and giving as little as you possibly can, compassion is punk-rock as hell.
Compassion is punk-rock as hell.
I planned to have his hair down and long but after spending so much time erasing body hair and then fighting with the skin matching, I’d had it. And honestly? Best choice I’ve ever made cause just look at him with a bun
i love it when you accidentally meet eyes with a stranger in public and you flash a quick polite smile and they look at you like they wish you were dead in a ditch
I’ve seen this several times on my dash and always with southerners being confused in the tags why the rest of the US is like this, and as a southerner, I have to say, SAME. Like, there’s plenty to hate about the south, don’t get me wrong, but at least in general we have public courtesy down to a science. I ordered at a Sonic out West once and the guy specifically had someone take over his headset so he could come out and shake my hand because he was from Tennessee and it was the first time since he moved West that he heard anyone say “Yes sir.” And it’s just…. Automatic for me? And this polite smile thing, people will jump and glare and I’m just trying to be friendly not awkward? What else is a socially anxious southern child to do upon accidentally making eye contact? Look down and hurry away? Isn’t that rude??? Someone explain why is smiling met with such anger I am confused and afraid.
Exactly!! When I moved to Missouri I was baffled at how rude everyone is! Like I saw someone I knew at Walmart and stopped to chat and they didn’t even stop! They just went ‘hi’ and moved on. Like????
And when I moved here I made cookies for the neighborhood, cuz that’s what you do and the first place I went they said “we don’t eat things with sugar” and shut the door.
Like why do y’all hate everyone so much?
I’m Canadian and am also confused
Well yeah everyone knows Canadians are the friendliest people in the world
I’m from Indiana and I’m pretty sure if you don’t talk to someone you know In Wal-Mart for at least 5 minutes you go to jail
No but that would still be rude in kentucky
You are expected to talk for at least 15 minutes, say goodbye (like, a “take care y’all, tell me how that knee is doin”) and then you talk for another ten minutes, move a little further apart and say goodbye again (“well I better get going tell your nana I said hi”) and then you talk for a while and say goodbye one more time (“I’ll see y’all at church on Sunday/school/Jo-mart/Nana’s funeral”) and move on to the next person
And don’t even get me started on food etiquette
It’s not a south v. west thing, it’s a city thing. That’s why New Yorkers are the purest version of this. And it’s why I get both sides. I grew up in a small town in Northern California, and it was proud of all the small town things – “you can leave your door unlocked” and all that. I got a job for a while as a bank teller, and this coworker of mine had moved there from New York. I liked him (I tend to get along with folks) but a lot of people thought he was rude. “short” “impatient” even “brusk” were some descriptions of him, not just from our coworkers, but from the bank customers too. They complained because he always rushed them, never wanted to make small talk, etc. One day I was working next to him, and I heard him verbally pushing yet another customer along, just racing him through the transaction against his will, and I thought, I’m gonna say something to him about it. As soon as the customer left though, before I could say anything, my coworker goes “damn I hate people like that, get to the front of the line and want to tell me their whole life story. So RUDE!” So I say something like, how is he the one that was rude to you? And goes, like he can’t believe how stupid I’m being, “ not to me, to all those people in line behind him that want to finish up here and get on with the rest of their day! You’re at the bank, you know why you’re here, you step up, you do a polite greeting and get the fuck down to business. Everybody has shit to do, and they can’t do it until you shut up about your life story that zero people drove down here to listen to. It’s so selfish! I can’t stand people like that” Since then, I’ve lived in San Francisco, and L.A., and Montgomery Alabama, and Germany and Portland and Oakland and a bunch of little ass towns like Suisun Ca, and Kenwood and all kinds of places, Santa Cruz and Rohnert Park. And I’ve thought about the thing that guy started me noticing. It’s true. The closer in to a city (and the larger the city) the more the concept of polite changes from “how you are effecting the person you are communicating with” to “how you are effecting the people packed in around you” In Oakland there are like, zero grocery stores (Oakland is literally documented as a “food desert”) and so the best grocery store in Berkeley is also a favorite grocery store of Oakland residents and it is… full. You’ll spend a full 30 minutes in the snake of cars circling around in the parking lot waiting for somebody to finish shopping and leave so a parking spot opens up. Once inside, it’s more of the same. Shopping carts are cart-front to ass cheek. You literally can’t reach onto a shelf for a box of cereal without waiting for somebody to give you a break in traffic. Sometimes you get stuck standing in a single spot for several minutes, boxed in on all sides. I’ve only been twice, and I swear to all holy gods that if I saw two people trying to catch up on chit chat while we all tried to maneuver around them, I would been reaching for my murdering stick. It’s called skype motherfuckers, go the fuck home and talk to each other, jfc, the rest of us are trying to make a deadline for some other shit we gotta get done today. Now, going back home, to small town Nor Cal, yeah, I don’t want to be rude, I’m gonna stop and say hi, I’m gonna ask about your family, I’m gonna rack my brain and remember that you had a sick cat or a trip you were trying to take or an interest in boats, and I’m gonna ask about that shit, fuck yeah tell me about how the tomatoes are coming in this year, I hear the birds are worse than ever. Anyway, city folk ain’t rude, they just polite different; suitable for city life.
This is such a great explanation, and really important.
Since we’re coming to the last month of the year, here are the Top 10 Tumblr Controversies This Year
1. Popular blogger who was paid $120 by their followers to eat all the little fish out of their aquarium
2. Misha Collins tries to do an AMA but staff forgot to promote it on the top of the site like usual so he didn’t get any questions
3. Staff accidentally brings back post editing for a total of 5 minutes and John Green is immediately harassed and he is forced to delete all his posts.
4. Popular user starts rumor that baby was born and in dashcon ballpit but it comes out that there actually was a baby born in one of the dashcon bathrooms.
5. Disney claims copyright on 17 different users who had references to baby yoda in their URL and staff deletes all 17 of their blogs.
6. Voice actor of Dobby, Patrick Stewart, is sent massive amounts of anonymous harassment after declairing Dobby “deserved what he got in the end.”
7. Communismkills reveals that she eats her pizza without any sauce or toppings and also later reveals that she has scurvy
8. Sixpencee tries to bring back sixpenceeheals and copy pasted the old post about it but then deleted it 10 mins after posting
9. Popular rat blog dedicated to “letting her rats type the posts” “accidentally” posts a homophobic slur in all caps
10. Old Friends Senior Dog Sanctuary tried to sue the person behind the “I just want to get dicked down again =/“ post but they lose and the blog remains up
11. Doomsneigh posts a list of tumblr controversies that are all fake but have just enough truth to them that everyone starts questioning their own memories
Muriel! Asra! You’re dressed up in your winter finest! Now, where are you off to...? ❄️
These are just too good
LAJDLQBDOJDKD WHY IS THAT ACTUALLY FUNNY
E N S L A V E D M O I S T U R E
GLSKGKSKGMSKVK
*drinks water*
prison transfer
the blue shell heading toward me in mario kart:
I hate this
Look at link. He looks so happy. This is the happiest he has ever been. He deserves this.