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@compulsivegambler-blog
Do you think I care you were being sarcastic?Â
Obviously not.
It’s a strange thing to drop on someone in a conversation, though.
You know, it’s just a strange hobby in general but I don’t really care, keeps my hands busy and out of trouble.Â
Well, as long as that’s all it does…
 Ain't good for much else, fella. Except exposing dark, awful secrets that are better left unknown to the public--'Bot or 'Con--at large.Â
Do you think I care you were being sarcastic?Â
Obviously not.
It’s a strange thing to drop on someone in a conversation, though.
You know, it's just a strange hobby in general but I don't really care, keeps my hands busy and out of trouble.Â
compulsivegambler replied to your post: What’s with you Kimia Scientists and your minibot fetishes?
I agree. You don’t have a fetish.
*rolls optics* Tell me something I don’t already know.
You’re on my shipping chart.Â
…
*opens and closes his mouth a few times, trying to decide on what to say*
You do realize that I was being sarcastic, right?
Do you think I care you were being sarcastic?Â
compulsivegambler replied to your post: What’s with you Kimia Scientists and your minibot fetishes?
I agree. You don’t have a fetish.
*rolls optics* Tell me something I don’t already know.
You're on my shipping chart.Â
Personality Disorders
DSM-IV lists ten different personality disorders. These are grouped into three clusters: odd or eccentric disorders; dramatic, emotional or erratic disorders; and
anxious or fearful disorders. These can be summarised as follows:
1.  Odd or Eccentric Disorders
a) Paranoid personality disorder: This is characterised by irrational suspicions and a deep mistrust of others.
b) Schizoid personality disorder: This is characterised by a lack of interest in other people, and no need or desire for relationships.
c) Schizotypal personality disorder: This is characterised by bizarre thought patterns and behaviours.
2.  Dramatic, Emotional or Erratic Disorders
a) Antisocial personality disorder: This is characterised by a blatant and pervasive disregard for authority, the law and the rights of others.
b) Borderline personality disorder: This is characterised by rigid, categorical and extreme “black and white” thinking. Also, instability in their relationships with others, a poor self-image, low self-esteem, impulsivity and behaviour which results in self-harm.
c) Histrionic personality disorder: This is characterised by attention-seeking behaviour. For example, behaving in ways that are inappropriately seductive, or displaying exaggerated emotions.
d) Narcissistic personality disorder: This is characterised by grandiose claims and behaviours, a need for admiration, and a lack of empathy. This individual also finds it hard to relate in meaningful ways to others.
3.  Anxious or Fearful Disorders
a) Avoidant personality disorder: This is characterised by social inhibition, feelings of inadequacy, extreme sensitivity to negative evaluation, and avoidance of social situations.
b) Dependent personality disorder: This is characterised by an inappropriate psychological dependence on others.
c) Obsessive-compulsive personality disorder (This is different from obsessive-compulsive disorder): It is characterised by rigid conformity to rules and moral codes – with an excessive need for orderliness.
“… I didn’t have any relationships until Rotorstorm… Topspin had been sold to our new owner before me… I was always violent before that point… but after… I was nearly uncontrollable… Underground, my new crew chief at Swift Mining, had to set me straight.”
“Talk to me about that rage, before and after the situation.” Smokescreen could understand the pain of having a lover killed and being blamed for it; the rage was something he hadn’t had himself but could easily surmise where it had come from.Â
“Before, the rage came from protecting Topspin, because of his spark being too weak to power the miner frame that he was in. I got into a lot of fights because of how protective I was of him.” Twist said softly, easing into a more calm tone. “After… it was because the pain was so fresh and… so intense… I-i just… h-hurt… s-so much…”
“Rage is an interesting emotion to be feeling in the event of losing a loved one, a potential mate or otherwise. It powers us, drives us to do and say things we would never do otherwise.” He began, standing to pour himself another steaming glass of Petro tea, inhaling the steam.
“What did you do with your rage?”
“B-bottled it up… mostly… K-kept focusing on other things.” He said while hunching over and closing his optics before laying on his side. “No one aside from Topspin cared as long as it was out of sight.”
"Is there more you want to say about this rage, Twin Twist?"
“… I didn’t have any relationships until Rotorstorm… Topspin had been sold to our new owner before me… I was always violent before that point… but after… I was nearly uncontrollable… Underground, my new crew chief at Swift Mining, had to set me straight.”
“Talk to me about that rage, before and after the situation.” Smokescreen could understand the pain of having a lover killed and being blamed for it; the rage was something he hadn’t had himself but could easily surmise where it had come from.Â
“Before, the rage came from protecting Topspin, because of his spark being too weak to power the miner frame that he was in. I got into a lot of fights because of how protective I was of him.” Twist said softly, easing into a more calm tone. “After… it was because the pain was so fresh and… so intense… I-i just… h-hurt… s-so much…”
"Rage is an interesting emotion to be feeling in the event of losing a loved one, a potential mate or otherwise. It powers us, drives us to do and say things we would never do otherwise." He began, standing to pour himself another steaming glass of Petro tea, inhaling the steam.
"What did you do with your rage?"
“… I didn’t have any relationships until Rotorstorm… Topspin had been sold to our new owner before me… I was always violent before that point… but after… I was nearly uncontrollable… Underground, my new crew chief at Swift Mining, had to set me straight.”
"Talk to me about that rage, before and after the situation." Smokescreen could understand the pain of having a lover killed and being blamed for it; the rage was something he hadn't had himself but could easily surmise where it had come from.Â
The hardest part about walking away from someone is the part where you realize that, no matter how slowly you go, they will never run after you.
Unknown (via onlinecounsellingcollege)
“Paydirt hated how Tracker treated us. Hated that we didn’t have any updated safety equipment. But… he was planning something big… planned to sabotage a new mineshaft excavation project… One I was on the team to break ground on…” Twist said in an even quieter voice.
“… Tracker had Paydirt killed…” He said in a clear yet pained voice. “For sabotaging a mineshaft excavation project that I was supposed to be part of the team for… Tracker made everyone in the quarry believe it was my fault… Even I believed it myself…”
Smokescreen rubbed at his chevron, looking at the tea in his cup before taking another gulp. "And how did that impact your life and your other relationships?"Â
"Paydirt hated how Tracker treated us. Hated that we didn't have any updated safety equipment. But... he was planning something big... planned to sabotage a new mineshaft excavation project... One I was on the team to break ground on..." Twist said in an even quieter voice.
"You're going to have to speak up. I know you Wreckers can raise hell so I need you to be a little louder, if you don't mind, Twist." Smokescreen urged, rubbing his temple and make a garbled, wet coughing noise.Â
Twist needed to pause for a moment. Talking about his mate the first time was hard enough, but a second time... Oh but he needed to. He needed to fully recover. Even with the traumas he'd been through. Rotorstorm told him it would hurt, and dammit he was right.
"Paydirt was good friends with Dirtcloud, Tracker's bodyguard. He was a backload hauler and was one of those mechs everyone got along with with his leadership skills and how strong he was... I-it took him forever... to get me to open up and trust him... we were together for such a long time..." Twist said, his voice growing thick with emotions and pain. "We would have bonded if... if we knew we could... without Topspin's involvement..."
Smokescreen took the pause to noisily take a gulp of his tea, weakly coughing into his hand and letting his helm fall back to the desk.Â
"Keep going when you feel you're ready."Â
"My... first time... was in a mineshaft... Undermine was bigger than me... I didn't fully understand what was happening and got scared. He felt awful for it and I didn't know what to think or how to really react." Twist continued quietly, the tension leaving his voice for remorse. "I never got the chance to talk to him and accept his apologies afterwards. Tracker sold him to another company. Th-then... after a few relationships with others who had similar frame-types compared to mine... I met h-him... Paydirt..."
"Go on, take your time, though. There's no rush."Â
"After Topspin and I were created by our comissioners, we were sold to a company called Vantage Mining Industries. The owner's name was Tracker, he was a real gearstick with the workers, didn't want to pay anything for updated equipment and always kept us working double shifts. This was where I met Undermine..." He said, starting casually but sounding a bit tense once he got to the fellow miner. "He was attracted to me and I was naive at the time."
"Alright," Smokescreen didn't bring his helm off the desk's surface, internally recording the conversation so he could add it to Twist's file later. He closed his optics, fighting the urge to sigh. He doesn't like talking about miners himself but he knows this is important. "Keep going."Â
“I… wanted to talk about my past… before the war…” Twist said hesitantly. “I can’t keep hiding from it anymore…”
"Alright, then. Why don't you start at the very beginning."Â
The past couple days fared better for Twin Twist as he watched the afternoon rain lazily fall from a cave he found. The nightmare that haunted him left him feeling less than willing to really deal with others and knowing Max was having fun with being off the ship was more…
“Are you okay?” Twist asked after hearing the coughing. “Today’s our session, isn’t it?”
"Me? Just a bit of a cough today. Don't worry, I've got petro tea, I'm good. And as for sessions, it was supposed to be yesterday but I couldn't roll out of the berth, too sick. So, let's talk. What's on your mind?"Â
Another session.
The past couple days fared better for Twin Twist as he watched the afternoon rain lazily fall from a cave he found. The nightmare that haunted him left him feeling less than willing to really deal with others and knowing Max was having fun with being off the ship was more important to him. He debated using video or comm for today’s session but opted for comm.
“Smokescreen?”
Smokescreen answered the comm, hacking a cough into his fist as he did so. He pushed away the energon on his desk, laying his head down on the cool surface. "Speaking, Twist. How can I help you today?"Â
