[kiefbowl]

here's some more unsolicited adult advice as someone in her 30s who knows there are a lot of twenty somethings and teens that follow her: if you're trying to build a new habit you really want, and are struggling, you have to break it down to the smallest building block possible. If you're failing, you haven't thought small enough. I know it's possible to hear stories of people who just snapped into new life mode one day by "just deciding", but truly what's happening there is a confluence of events and experiences that force the brain into some sort of epiphany. You cannot will an epiphany. It'll never work. For most times of your life, you will need to build habits intentionally, and that means not working against yourself and to set micro goals. like laughably tiny goals. because once that easy tiny goal is met, you can build off it, tiny goal after tiny goal until you reach your big goal.

so for example, if you want to be a morning person that gets up at ass crack dawn so that you can work out, eat brekkie, shower, and get to work at a leisurely pace, and you're not that person because you will hit your snooze button 800 times, you have to get the big picture goal out of your head. think smaller. "I want to get up 15 minutes earlier than I normally do." If you can't do that, make it 5 minutes. "I want to cook breakfast every day" hell no too big. "I want to eat something, anything, before I leave the house" hell yeah, fantastic. When you go to the grocery store to make sure there are things in the house for breakfast, if you keep buying bagels and microwave sandwiches that you ignore, you gotta think smaller. SMALLER. What's something so easy to eat that you'll never say no to. Is it a yogurt? Is it a handful of grapes? Is it a hostess ho ho? is it hot cheetos? FORGET the big picture of the fantasy put-together woman preparing a full nutritious meal that you'd be proud to admit to. Think only of the smallest goal you can achieve. If you know you can't say no to an ice cream sandwich, put a ton of ice cream sandwiches in your freezer and have one for breakfast every day until it's so instilled in you that you gotta get up to eat something you can start diversifying.

It sounds like, from the lack of habit place, that must take forever. But really it doesn't take too long to form the habit once the discipline kicks in. the trick is that you have to give your brain something easy to become disciplined to. If it's too hard, think easier and smaller. No one has to know. Literally no one in the gd world has to know that for 4 weeks when you were 22 you had an ice cream sandwich for breakfast every day. who cares. If it gets you eating oatmeal with fresh fruit in a few months who cares. you did it, yay. smaller, easier. if you can't do it, think smaller and easier. smaller!! EASIER!!! You are not thinking smaller and easier enough. break your brain thinking how small and easy you can go. SMALLER. EVEN SMALLER, SIS.

[con-stellation-s]

Ugh I want to do queer line dancing so badddd. Why can’t that be a thing where I live😭

[tormentedpenguin86]

[con-stellation-s]

#9

[renthony]

Every now and then some discourse pops up around a queer ship consisting of a pair of fictional characters who are not blood related, but refer to themselves as "brothers" or "sisters," or are in some way, according to the fandom, "sibling-coded."

Every time I see that discourse, all I can think about are the very real queer men I once knew, who, before their deaths, lived their lives posing as "stepbrothers." The only way to avoid suspicion for being two older unmarried men living together in a rural conservative area was to pretend they were from the same family, even though the truth was that they were lovers.

They were never out in life. Their relationship was a strict secret to nearly everyone. They never knew that I knew, and sometimes it fucks me up inside that they never got to come out to me. It fucks me up that they had to hide behind a fake "brotherly" relationship for their own safety. It fucks me up to look at a gravestone that reads "beloved brother" and know what it really means, and what it could have said if they'd lived under different circumstances.

In another world, they could have been husbands, but they never had the opportunity. The world will remember them as brothers, because, even in death, that is what was safest.

The freedom to declare queer love openly is something that not everyone has. And I think more people could stand to remember that.

[tikkunolamorgtfo]

I recently aided a library patron who was doing research on queer couples and inheritance law, and ended up reading a few of the articles they selected, including this one about a wealthy gay man who legally adopted his longtime partner before he died:

An Open Secret: The Family Story of Robert and John Gregg Allerton

In 1960, at the age of eighty-six, Robert Allerton adopted his longtime partner, John Gregg. Allerton was twenty-five years Gregg's senior,

“In 1960, at the age of eighty-six, Robert Allerton adopted his longtime partner, John Gregg. Allerton was twenty-five years Gregg's senior, and they had been referring to themselves as adopted father and son since the 1920s. Although not a well-known practice, over the course of the twentieth century, some gay couples used adult adoption to secure family rights. This strategy accelerated significantly in the 1980s when AIDS (acquired immunodeficiency syndrome) made questions of the legal recognition of queer partnerships desperately pressing.”

I’m no expert on the subject, but it seems that some people today may not appreciate how creative queer couples have historically needed to be in order to explain away their partnerships.

[con-stellation-s]

I went and watched Right People, Wrong Place tonight and I left that theatre with just one thought. “Man I’m so glad that I get to live in the same time period as Kim Namjoon.” It was a great documentary and an even greater album. It deserved all the awards this year. Namjoon deserved all the awards this year. So proud of him.

[causesciencethatswhy]

I need to seriously have someone look at all the bad juju that's been following bangtan because the reaction to yoongi is simply not normally. He apologised, owned up to his mistake, lost his license, no one and no property was harmed, and is currently going through one of the worst hate campaigns ive seen in k media in a while, and some karmys have the nerve to feel like it not punishment enough??

This whole thing feels incredibly masochist now. Asking him to leave the group of all things is absolutely preposterous and i cannot seriously believe that 'this' is what the situation has snowballed into. I know all about the korean context of this and you still can't convince me that this isn't an absolute witch hunt.

Like I'm hoping and praying that bangtan and yoongi know that the loud reactionaries don't represent all of us.

Someone tell me some prayers I can do because we need to start manifesting some more good energy around the boy's.

And don't come to me with the , 'you can’t excuse his mistakes ' because he literally himself hasn't if you cared enough to read his post. He got his punishment and will comply with whatever else will come his way. You cannot convince me that the reaction to this isn't completely blown out of proportion

[grahamkennedy-deactivated202411]

Huh. So another W from Macklemore.

[luulapants]

If you feel a little crazy looking at news coverage of Gaza or any other military operations, I HIGHLY recommend looking at the Words About War guide which provides lists of misleading phrases commonly used by governments and the media to obscure the realities of war. Sitting down with a news article with this guide and replacing things like "enemy noncombatant" with "civilians" will change the entire way you look at war news and the media as an agent of the military machine. They also have a special guide on Gaza!!

[akboro]

[dduane]

Terry knew.

[petermorwood]

"...the kind who brushed the dog and told their children bedtime stories..."

That passage leads into this one:

Yup.

Terry knew.

[republicansaretheproblem]

[animentality]

[stormblessed95]

"Queer people don't grow up as ourselves, we grow up playing a version of ourselves that sacrifices authenticity to minimise humiliation & prejudice. The massive task of our adult lives is to unpick which parts of ourselves are truly us & which parts we've created to protect us."

- Alexander Leon

Be kind to yourself and those around you 💗💜

[iggykoopa666]

"some of you are miserable because you're mean" post except its "some of you are miserable because you only look at and talk about stuff you dislike"

[iggykoopa666]

"why don't i have any friends" because you only know how to bitch about stuff and be a hater

[fxlthyangxl-deactivated20240122]

website

[hesbythecampfire]

StopNCII.org is operated by the Revenge Porn Helpline which is part of SWGfL, a charity that believes that everyone should benefit from technology, free from harm. Founded in 2000, SWGfL works with a number of partners and stakeholders around the world to protect everyone online

Sounds legit

[songue85]

StopNCII.org is operated by the Revenge Porn Helpline which is part of SWGfL, a charity that believes that all should benefit from technolog

[catchymemes]

[suns-up-bunshine-deactivated202]

Bitches be like ‘I’m so tired and sleepy’ and then stay up doing hyperfixtation shit for the next 5 hours

[feline17ff]

...

[necromancelena]

Genuinely fucked that cultural perception of aging is getting warped to the point where people in their twenties are considered old at the same time that all the constructed milestones of independence and self sufficiency that have become expected of adulthood are getting further out of reach for the majority of people. Like, no, you haven't missed out on anything, no one has "wasted" their 20s, or 30s, or any stretch of time, it's just that a lot of things really fucking suck right now. There isn't anything important you can do at, say, age 21 that you can't also do every other age after that.