as requested- my zine about fat and plus size body types from instagram!💖 happy drawing everyone!
dirt enthusiast
Xuebing Du

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noise dept.
NASA
YOU ARE THE REASON

pixel skylines
Monterey Bay Aquarium

★
wallacepolsom
taylor price
styofa doing anything

JBB: An Artblog!
Three Goblin Art
hello vonnie

@theartofmadeline
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda

PR's Tumblrdome
d e v o n
Sweet Seals For You, Always

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@concerningly-murder-y
as requested- my zine about fat and plus size body types from instagram!💖 happy drawing everyone!
Everything about this is a masterpiece: the girl that says “wow” and the girl that says “hi” shyly and bill awkwardly lifting his hand to say hi to them I’m cracking THE FUCK UP
The way they all immediately straightened up their postures like the fuckin pope walked in 😂 the sheer power this cool science man has over the american people is palpable
Good morning and tuesday to everyone except the guy who stuck his dick in the public mailbox downtown and pissed all over the mail. If you're him fuck you
This is oddly specific. Is there a story there?
Yeah, some guy stuck his dick in the public mailbox downtown and pissed all over the mail
OP you have to tell us that story, I need context
Well you see, some guy stuck his dick in the public mailbox downtown
What happened next?
You wouldn't believe it but he pissed all over the mail
Op is denying us the fucking golden replies to this tweet omg
When i had breast reduction surgery, i got into the OR and got put on this table that looked like a flat crucifix (arms out so they could get to the girls), and i said ‘god, don’t nail me down’
they put the mask on my face and the nurse said ‘no jesus treatment today’
and the last thing i said to her was ‘jesus with some big ass titties’ and then passed out.
What if….Victoria was a closeted lesbian and accidentally marries Emily—who is bisexual—instead of it being Victor?
(Pt 1)
—
In all seriousness though, I’ve always had this idea in my head since I first watched this movie twice in theaters and I’m finally making it come true because dammit I want to; this alternate story would’ve made my heart soar back when I was in the closet and had an embarrassing crush on Emily
Be careful who you call ugly in middle school
Based off my Camp Counselor Jason!AU
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Coppa
Coppa who?
COPPPAAA CHISSEEEELLL HEAAADDD
Monster + Bubbline kiss
Happy first birthday Knife-Wielding Tentacle..👍
dear god, it lives still
Save the date folks, Knife-Wielding Tentacle’s second birthday is November 16th.
HAPPY SECOND BIRTHDAY, KNIFE-WIELDING TENTACLE!
Of course he’s a Scorpio
HAPPY BIRTHDAY
knife-wielding tentacle is 5 years old today…………………
They grow up so fast. :’)
a playlist for when you’re a crewmate in among us <3
i love student housing. i’m in the common room waiting for a friend and there’s some dude crying on the couch w a bunch of his friends around him and i can only hear bits and pieces but someone asked him “who gets the minecraft server if you guys break up?” and he started crying harder and a 3rd person reached over to smack the guy who asked it on the back of the head
(source)
Whoa, I didn’t realize that it was so deliberate, I honestly thought it was unconscious
Scary, scary.
Gonna add on to this: From the other side of the bar, I see this crap all the time. Seriously. I work at a high-density bar, and let me tell you, I have anywhere from 10-20 guys every night come up and tell me to, “serve her a stronger drink, I’m trying to get lucky tonight, know what I mean?” usually accompanied with a wink and a gesture at a girl who, in my experience, is going to go from mildly buzzed to definitively hammered if I keep serving her. Now, I like to think I’m a responsible bartender, so I usually tell guys like that to piss off, and, if I can, try to tell the girl’s more sober friends that they need to keep an eye on her. But everyone- just so you know, most of the time, when someone you don’t know is buying you a drink, they’re NOT doing it out of a sense of cordiality, they’re buying you a drink for the sole purpose of making you let your guard down. So:
Tips for getting drinks-
1. ALWAYS GO TO THE BAR TO GET YOUR OWN DRINK, DO NOT LET STRANGERS CARRY YOUR DRINKS. This is an opportune time for dropping something into your cocktail, and you’re none the wiser.
2.IF YOU ORDER SOMETHING NON-ALCOHOLIC, I promise you, the bartender doesn’t give two shits that you’re not drinking cocktails with your friends, and often, totally understands that you don’t want to let your guard down around strangers. Usually, you can just tell the bartender that you’d like something light, and that’s a big clue to us that you’re uncomfortable with whomever you’re standing next to. Again, we see this all the time.
3. If you’re in a position to where you feel uncomfortable not ordering alcohol:
Here’s a list of light liquors, and mixers that won’t get you drunk, and will still look like an actual cocktail:
X-rated + sprite = easy to drink, sweet, and 12% alcoholic content. Not strong at all, usually runs $6-$8, depending on your state.
Amaretto + sour= sweet, not strong, 26%.
Peach Schnapps+ ginger ale= tastes like mellow butterscotch, 24%.
Melon liquor (Midori, in most bars) + soda water = not overly sweet, 21%
Coffee liquor (Kahlua) +soda = not super sweet, 20%.
Hope this helps someone out!
Backing this up from years of bar tending.
Adding to this:
When I was a fresh bartender, I had a couple sitting in the corner, already drinking when I started my shift. They seemed like they knew each other really well considering how much they had their hands on one another. But I still came by and asked if they were okay. The man just waved me off while the woman said, “I need some water.”
The man laughed it off and told me, “She doesn’t need any water. She’s fine.”
She was not fine. Clearly. I decided I was going to cut the two off anyway and bring them some water. As I was filling up the glasses, I heard the woman say, “Stop. I said no. I don’t feel good.”
Her tone and attitude changed instantly. She kept pushing his hand away when he reached for her face, turned her head away when he tried to kiss her. Loudly told him, “Stop. I’m done for tonight.”
So I made sure to refill her water the moment she finished it, and I stayed within earshot of them the whole night. And every time I did, the man got mad at me, told me to leave them alone. Their friends were there, surrounding them and told me that those two always fought when they were drunk and apologized, so I relaxed a little. But the last time I refilled her drink, I heard a loud crash.
She fell out of her stool and hit her head on the floor. And he calmly drank his drink. Their friends didn’t even blink. I jumped over the bar to tend to her and he just said, “Don’t worry, I’ll take her home. She always ends up like this. She drinks too much.”
But it didn’t sound right.
Then the woman began convulsing.
I yelled for the other bartender to call 911 and when I did, the guy suddenly disappeared. I tried asking thr friends questions about him and they just blew it off as the woman being a black our drunk. And one of them said, “We’ll get her home. Don’t worry.”
But when thr EMTs showed up with the police, they all disappeared too.
A few days later the woman came with an attorney. She asked me and the other bartender who worked before me some questions. Turns out, she didn’t know any of those people. They weren’t her friends or her boyfriend. They had met that night, when the guy asked her if he could buy her a drink. At the hospital, they found traces of Rohypnol in her system.
The guy had Roofied her. And his friends were in on it.
The security camera footage showed he had put something in her drink when she left for the bathroom before my shift.
So seriously, it happens. You have to be careful with your drinks! Always watch it, don’t let anyone handle it, and take it with you wherever you go–even the bathroom. Or if you’re a regular at that bar, ask the bartender to put it behind the bar. We’ll do it.
Rb for that last add, don’t ever worry about being polite! Protect urself!
REBLOG AND SPREAD THE WORD!
Never EVER trust men
Take it one further, never, ever, trust strangers. Look, I’ve flown wing man with many a friend, gay, straight, and any other stripe of the rainbow. I’m your drink watcher, I’m the sober driver, I’m getting everyone home. Unless we’ve agreed, in advance, that you aren’t coming home with me…and even then you get a status check before you split. I’ve seen women play just as dirty as men. It’s great to have drinks bought for you, but you owe them nothing. Remember, you didn’t ask that person to buy you a drink, they just did. If you don’t have a watcher, and the bar can’t cover, either finish the drink before the bathroom, take it in with you, or simply never finish it. You didn’t buy it, you aren’t out anything!
Non-alcoholic drinks that look like booze:
Seltzer water or club soda with a wedge of lime or lemon
Ginger ale or Sprite with a splash of grenadine (aka Shirley Temple)
Spicy V-8 or tomato juice
Coke and grenadine (aka Roy Rogers)
Iced tea and lemonade (aka an Arnold Palmer)
Kombucha
Sparkling cider or grape juice
You can also ask for virgin mojitos, daiquiris, or pretty much any fancy cocktail - bartenders have plenty of simple syrups and juices they can combine for something spectacular without a drop of alcohol.
Reblogging for this last list especially because guys, don’t assume how much alcohol you can handle if you don’t know.
“Meet the Reaper” AKA Top 10 photos taken before disaster
Spoiler alert: Grim did not win the game.
Omg this is so amazing.
Grim had absolutely no idea what he was getting himself into here
I recently saw a meme on Facebook that said something along the lines of “how to make a millennial panic: lock them in a room with only a phone book and a rotary phone and write the instructions in cursive!” It had this smug “aha, gotcha” vibe oozing out of it, and it…just sort of made me laugh. Like, really? Really? But it also made me think…
Beyond the fact that I know how to use both a phone book and a rotary phone and can read cursive (as long as it’s not too horrifically messy), I think it was the attitude of “Oh no, we’ve got you because you couldn’t possibly figure out how to use something that’s new to you” that really made me snort. But I think that’s the key to this and similar memes that I’ve seen.
They don’t think we could figure out how to use something new to us, because they can’t do it.
Like, if you presented a millennial with a rotary phone or a phone book and they had never, ever used one or seen one used before, I can guarantee pretty much any millennial could figure out how to use it. Because that’s what we do: we adapt. We’ve been through so many variations of technology and seen so many new forms of technology emerge that we’ve had to learn to adapt swiftly and fluidly. It’s second nature to us.
Put a boomer in a room with a smartphone, laptop, and tablet however, and well…different story.
I’m not sure if they literally don’t understand that presenting a millennial with something they haven’t encountered before would not be an obstacle and certainly not a panic-inducing one, or if they just say things like that to make themselves feel better that they couldn’t do the equivalent, or if it’s a combination of the above.
I just realized that the original meme is also, quite accidentally, basically describing the principle behind….. escape rooms.
You know, the recent popular trend in participatory entertainment in which thousands of millennials literally go out and pay money to voluntarily be locked in a room where they have to solve puzzles under a time pressure, often using antiquated or analog technology, secret codes, and mechanisms they don’t yet understand, all without using their phones/the internet. For fun.
For many of us, that’s not panic-inducing, that’s just our idea of an enjoyable Saturday night out with some friends!
Now I’m just laughing even harder.
I think part of the reason that older generations think millennials and younger can’t learn on the fly is that we all have personal computers and headphones so they have absolutely NO idea what we might be doing. Are we learning complex mathematics? Reading fanfiction? Laughing at cat gifs? Complete mystery to the person who can’t see the screen. They see what they perceive as us doing very little physically and assume our minds are doing the same.
another piece of this is that they have no idea how old millennials are and think they are much younger than “born 1981-1996.”
jenga the movie: best bits