Tommy @connivingturnip - Tumblr Blog

if i had to be dumped by any type of guy it would be an ‘ENDING EXPLAINED’ type youtuber. the closure would be insane

im sobbing in a chair while he explains the top ten most fucked up easter eggs from our relationship you might have missed

shock

just made the worst pizza ever

shock

this is the closest pic I’m willing to take

papasmoke

*places you in a pond large enough for you to express all your natural instinctive behaviors*

papasmoke

Keeping you people healthy is like stopping a minecraft octopus from beaching itself

omegaverse

I miss lurking on racist tradwife twitter accounts. Man im so far from trad and i can cook and bake better than 98% of those hoes

omegaverse

What is trad about posting on twitter madame. Delete your accounts and forage. Your trad husband is a best buy employee who is addicted to hentai. Go offline and hunt game illegally.

omegaverse

toskarin

deepleffen's tweets have done irreparable damage to my vocabulary, but this one is engraved especially deep in my brain

amoisthobo

This is literally the funniest video on this entire site

narrie

Twitter dying but tumblr is still standing

memorycycle

when you open task maanager and the cpue is at like 89 percent and then it shoots down to a single digit its like. what the fuck are you hiding. what are you doing whuile my back is turned

vendetta06

can we please ignore what grimes does for at least a year and see what happens? I am tired about hearing what she is doing against my will. thanks

leafie-draws

by the time this pandemic ends I’ll have to be slowly rehabilitated back into society like a raccoon or I’ll get scared and start biting

proletarianprincess

lmao on the edinburgh zoo site it says “there is a daily penguin parade at 14:15 but it may be cancelled last minute as it is a voulntary parade, we do not coax the penguins with food, and they may not want to go out” lmao anarchopenguinism

cannibality-deactivated20250227

this is the cutest goddamn thing i’ve ever heard

livenudegirl

I saw the penguin parade. It was a very slow parade, because the pingüinos take their sweet time and aren’t very fast walkers to begin with.

airyairyquitecontrary-deactivat

can I volunteer to be a penguin

commander-damneron

I feel like the world needs to know the context of the edinburgh zoo penguin parade, becausr I’ve been going there my entire life and I only found out about this the other year.

So a while back (I can’t remember exactly when but I think it was some time around the 40s/50s), a bunch of penguins escaped. A keeper left the gate open so a bunch of penguins just… followed them. And the people loved it. Look at these adorable birds outside their cage just following that guy around! So they get all the penguins back inside and realise that none of them really ran off, they just followed the keeper and went back inside and crowd thought it was amazing, so why not make it a regular thing? Get enough people there that if one of them goes to make a run for it (which at least one has in the past), they can’t get past the people, and let the ones who want outside have a little wander. So every day, they get a crowd, they open the gate, and whatever penguins want to get out can go, waddle about, squawk at people, and then hop back inside.

Also, one of those penguins is Brigadier Sir Nils Olaf III, Colonel-in-cheif of the Norwegian King’s Guard. This isn’t really related to the parade at all, I just love the fact that there’s a penguin in the Norwegian army