đ€šđ§?? i cannot describe the girlish sound I made when I saw this scene. i had to do laps around my room to calm down i feel like i need shock treatment everytime i see him this is excruciating
summary: ever since he showed up at your apartment (and ever since that fever dream youâre pretending didnât happen), youâve avoided being alone with reid. unfortunately, hotch has another plan: assigning the two of you to an overnight stakeout.
genre: fluff, angst (sorta?)
tags/warnings: reader is elle's sister, one bed trope but make it one car trope, theyâre like really bad at the actual surveillance part of this but weâre gonna ignore that, emotional vulnerability, romantic/physical tension, mutual pining, comparing hand sizes i repeat COMPARING HAND SIZES, sex dream briefly mentioned, nerdy rambling spencer, slow burn is def burning, coffee as a looove language, no use of y/n
a/n: inspired by this request from @oh-yourloveis-sunlight | deleted and rewrote this twice and i canât stand staring at it any longer so I am releasing it into the world to stop myself from a third rewrite lol. i prooomise the slow burn will be worth it, donât hate me for dragging it out a lil đ„ș hope you enjoy xo
greenaway!reader masterlist đ„
You havenât been avoiding Spencer.
Not really.
You still talk to him during briefings. Still glance at him across the conference room table when someone says something idiotic. Still tolerate his commentary on geographic profiles without rolling your eyes â most of the time.
So no. Not avoiding. Youâre just⊠adjusting your behavior. Sitting two chairs away. Declining too-private elevator rides. Waiting until heâs vacated the kitchenette to grab your coffee.
Totally reasonable things.
And it definitely has nothing to do with the unsolicited fever dream your brain cooked up last week where he fucked you slow and deep and said things like he meant them, and then you woke up sweaty and humiliated and half-convinced your pillow smelled like him.
(It didnât. You checked. Twice.)
Still. Ever since that dream â and ever since real-life, not-naked Spencer stood in your apartment doorway with soup and concern and those stupid, sweet eyes â somethingâs felt off-kilter. Like gravityâs shifted. Like youâre walking around at a slight tilt and pretending itâs just because your combat boots need to be resoled.
Which is why youâre now standing in front of the case board, arms crossed, staring at a grainy crime scene photo like it holds the answers to fixing whatever the hell has been wrong with you lately.
You sense him before you see him.
Thatâs another thing you hate â the way your body now reacts to Spencerâs presence. That subtle tension in your shoulders. That flick of awareness down your spine.
You donât look up when he stops beside you, just shy of your bubble.
âHey,â he says quietly. âDid you cross-reference the property tax records on the second address? The one the victimâs sister mentioned?â
You nod, still not meeting his eyes. âAlready did. Landlordâs been using an LLC. Trail goes cold in Wyoming.â
âShell company?â
âLooks like it.â
He hums â that soft, thoughtful noise he makes when heâs filing something away. Youâve grown used to it. You even like it, not that youâll ever admit that out loud.
âThanks,â he says after a beat.
You nod again. No eye contact. No acknowledgment of the way your palms feel weirdly warm or how the air between you feels too thick.
Out of the corner of your eye, you catch him hesitate, as if he might say something else.
But then Hotch steps into the room.
âReid. Greenaway. Youâre on overnight surveillance. Suspectâs apartment.â
You turn your head. Blink. âBoth of us?â
Hotch nods in confirmation. âTry to keep each other awake.â
You stay still, eyes fixed on the board, pretending like your body didnât just short-circuit at the idea of being trapped in a car with Reid on a stakeout until sunrise.
You hear him shift beside you, and you can feel the way heâs holding back now. Itâs obvious â he wants to say something about your distance, and your weird avoidance, and how youâve been acting like youâre allergic to his existence.
But he doesnât. Of course he doesnât.
He just lingers there â not close enough to touch, but close enough to make your skin buzz â and then walks away.
You donât watch him go.
But you do exhale a little too hard once heâs gone.
â
Youâre thirty-seven minutes into the stakeout and no oneâs said a word.
Which wouldnât be weird â silence is comfortable for you â except this one is intentional. Thick. Like fog that hasnât cleared. You can feel it sitting between you like an uninvited third person in the front seat.
Youâre slouched low on the passenger side, arms crossed. Outside, the suburban street is dead quiet. A porch light flickering. One curtain twitching. Somewhere in the distance, a dog barks.
Spencer shifts beside you. You hear the rustle of his coat, the faint creak of the faux-leather seat under his elbow. He hasnât looked at you once since you got in the car.
He cleared his throat fifteen minutes ago. Thatâs it.
You havenât moved.
You know what this is. This is the cold front rolling in after something that didnât happen. The consequences of a thing youâve both silently decided not to acknowledge.
The worst part? You donât even know what youâd say if he did bring the weirdness up.
Hey, yeah, sorry Iâve been weird! I had an incredibly visceral sex dream about you and me and then woke up to you at my door to take care of me when I was sick and so naturally Iâve decided to treat you like youâre the one whoâs contagious?
Yeah. No. Canât say that. Best to just keep your mouth shut.
He exhales beside you, and you brace for him to speak.
âDid you know some species of birds fake injuries to lure predators away from their nests?â
You blink. Look at him out of the corner of your eye.
Heâs staring straight ahead at the house across the street, face unreadable.
You raise an eyebrow. âIs that supposed to be a metaphor for something?â
He huffs a short laugh. âNo. Just⊠filling the silence.â
You donât answer â and you donât have to, because he keeps going.
âItâs called a broken-wing display. Itâs usually exhibited by ground-nesting birds â killdeer, plovers, that kind of thing. Theyâll limp away from the nest, dragging one wing like itâs injured, to lure a predator off course.â
You glance out the window. Itâs still quiet on the street. No movement.
âAnd it works?â you ask eventually.
âMost of the time,â he says. âUntil it doesnât.â
Another stretch of silence.
You sip from the travel mug you brought â lukewarm and slightly too bitter. You make a face and set it down in the cupholder.
Spencer digs into his messenger bag and pulls out a granola bar. He holds it out to you without looking. You take it â warily â then check the label.
âAlmond, honey, and flaxseed,â you read. âSo⊠depression and dust flavored.â
He smiles to himself, and you unwrap it anyway. It is indeed dry as hell, but at least it gives your hands and mouth something to do.
For a moment, it almost feels normal. Two federal agents. A bad snack. A quiet night. No tension. No ghosts.
But then his elbow brushes yours on the center console â just barely â and you flinch like he burned you.
He notices, but he doesnât say anything. Just clears his throat again and launches into a tangent about the statistical likelihood of suspect movement during an overnight watch, quoting a number with way too many decimal places.
You donât listen to all of it. But you donât interrupt him, either. You just sit there, chewing your sad granola bar and pretending your pulse isnât picking up, letting his voice wash over you.
â
Itâs after midnight now.
The street is dead quiet, and the suspectâs apartment is still dark. The carâs heater hums low. The windows have started fogging at the edges.
And Spencerâs still talking.
Nothing urgent. Just another slow roll of facts â half-muttered, half-directed into the void. You lost track somewhere around the history of various types of surveillance equipment, but you donât mind the sound. Itâs even. Calming. Distracting enough to keep you from spiraling into your own head.
Youâve never really noticed how steady his voice is.
Not just steady â gentle. No sharp corners. Itâs like heâs rounding off every syllable so it doesnât snag on anything. Like heâs afraid if he speaks too loud, something might break.
Like you might break.
You shift in your seat, stretch your legs a little. Your elbow brushes his on the center console again, but you donât flinch this time. Neither does he.
âI think sometimes I talk just to stop myself from thinking,â he says suddenly, eyes still on the dark window across the street.
You glance over. âThatâs ironic, considering the fact that I donât think youâve ever stopped thinking for even a second.â
He almost smiles. âYeah.â
Another beat of silence.
âI know people expect me to be this⊠endless stream of logic. Statistics. Analysis. Itâs what Iâm good at. Itâs who I am, right?â
You donât answer.
He taps the side of his head twice, as if to reference his brain. âSometimes I wonder who Iâd be without it. If I wasnât smart. If I wasnât useful. Like⊠what part of me would still matter.â
Your stomach twists enough to remind you that youâre still capable of feeling things, no matter how hard you try not to.
You glance at him then say, âYou know thatâs bullshit, right?â
He blinks.
âYouâre not useful,â you explain, deadpan. âYouâre irreplaceable. Thereâs a difference, and it's way more annoying.â
That gets a laugh â real and surprised, the kind that breaks through the fog between you.
And then you add, because youâve apparently lost all impulse control tonight:
âYou know, some of us get handed a story before weâre old enough to decide whether or not we even want to be in it.â
He turns his head, just slightly. You can feel his eyes on you now.
âI mean, itâs always been that way for me at least. Elleâs sister. Even before the Bureau. She was the golden one. The one with the fire. And more recently, the one with the mistakes.â
You take a breath.
âI think I got good at what I do just to prove Iâm not just a âsubstitute Greenawayâ or some sort of mediocre consolation prize.â
The words hang there between you, but not uncomfortably. Spencer doesnât speak. Just listens, the way he always does â fully, quietly, like youâre saying something important even when youâre not sure you are.
âThatâs not how I see you,â he says finally, stumbling over the statement like it surprised even him as it came out. âYou were never a consolation prize. And youâre not your sisterâs substitute, either. YouâreâŠyou. Completely, uniquely you.â
That shouldnât hit as hard as it does.
You glance away â to the windshield, the fire hydrant, to anywhere but him â and groan under your breath like itâs no big deal.
âSorry,â you mutter. âDonât know why I said anything.â
âBecause it matters,â he replies gently.
You blink once, hard. Your eyes catch on the dim lights across the street before you let them fall to the dash.
âIt doesnât,â you lie.
Spencer doesnât argue. Just shifts in his seat, like heâs settling in for something that might take a while.
âYou always do that,â he says after a moment.
âDo what?â
âSay something honest and then walk it back with a joke or a deflection.â
âSelf-sabotage is cheaper than therapy,â you retort with a humorless laugh.
He nods. âYeah. I know.â
You look at him this time, and he looks back.
And for some reason, that look â not the conversation, not the proximity, not the hour â is what makes your throat go tight. Just the way heâs looking at you. Calm. Direct. Soft. Like heâs already seen every jagged edge youâve got and doesn't think any of them require running away from.
Youâve gotten so good at staying guarded, so good at keeping things boxed up behind clever retorts and strategic indifference. But here he is, sitting beside you in a parked car with fogged windows and bad coffee between you, and heâs not asking for anything. Heâs not pressing. Not pulling.
Heâs just⊠there.
And somehow, thatâs worse.
You blink again then look away. âWhy arenât you saying anything weird right now? Like a fact about tarantulas or crime statistics for the 10 block radius around us?â
âI can,â he offers. âIf you want.â
You donât answer.
And still â he doesnât retreat. He just starts talking again. Something about the psychology of repetition. The way people return to routines not because theyâre comforting, but because theyâre familiar. Even if theyâre painful.
You should be panicking. You should be clawing your way back behind your armor, tossing out clever quips and sarcasm like smoke grenades.
But instead, you just⊠listen.
You sit like that for a long time, saying nothing, letting his words lap quietly against your softest parts.
And when he finally pauses â when he tilts his head like he might be waiting for a response â you say the only thing you can think of:
âYou talk so much.â
Spencer smiles. Itâs quiet, and crooked, and real.
âYou like it,â he replies without missing a beat.
And the worst part is â heâs right.
â
Youâre trying not to look at his hands.
Which is stupid, because youâve had no problem looking at them before â when heâs jotting notes in his messy scrawl, or flipping through case files, or hastily pointing out points on a map.
But now youâve spent the last six hours shoulder to shoulder in a car with him, and suddenly his hands feel like a problem.
Long fingers. Clean, short nails. That quiet strength to them â like he doesnât know what heâs capable of.
You catch yourself staring and snap your gaze away.
Too late.
He looks over. âWhat?â
âNothing.â
Spencer blinks, then glances at his own lap. âWere you staring at my hands?â
Your jaw tenses. âParanoid much?â
âNo, itâs justââ His hands fidget absentmindedly. âIt wouldnât be the first time someoneâs said something about them.â
âSaid what?â you ask with a laugh.
He hesitates. âThat theyâre⊠distracting.â
You nearly choke. âWho told you that?â
He shrugs, playing it off, but his ears go pink. âGarcia once, to tease me. And a woman at a conference a couple of years ago. I think she, uh, meant it as a compliment.â
You shake your head. âDo you keep a running tally of women who compliment your hands?â
He raises one for a moment, almost defensively, and stutters out his reply: âNo, Iâwhat? Iâm just answering your question.â His fingers twitch again, as if heâs suddenly hyper-aware of their existence. âTheyâre just hands,â he mumbles.
You arch a brow. âTheyâre not just hands. Theyâre⊠abnormally large.â
He squints at you. âStatistically, theyâre not.â
âJesus Christ, donât start.â
âIâm just sayingââ
âFine.â You roll your eyes and hold up your own. âLetâs compare. Settle the debate.â
He blinks, surprised â but lifts his hand anyway.
And when you press your palm to his, the temperature in the car shifts.
Youâre both quiet.
His skin is warm. His fingers stretch well past yours, long enough to curl over the tips if he wanted to. Your thumb just barely grazes the base of his. His palm is so much larger than yours.
And for a second â just a second â you both forget to breathe.
He exhales first, barely a sound. âHuh.â
You donât move.
Neither does he.
His pinky twitches as if he might lace it between yours if he had the guts. Like the impulse got as far as his fingertips before he was able to swallow it down. He shifts awkwardly, and for half a second your fingers do catch between his â itâs like the idea of intertwining them was so tempting, the universe tried it on your behalf.
The heat of him is steady, radiating across the small space between your bodies. You could close that distance. You could lean forward andâ
But you donât.
Itâs not a romantic pose, not really. Itâs just hands, after all. But somehow it feels like more. Like a metaphor for something much larger than what youâre willing to accept.
Your voice is low when it finally comes. âThis⊠proves my point.â
Spencer nods with a gulp. âYeah.â
âYour hands are huge.â
âOkay.â His voice cracks on the word.
You glance up with the intention to make a face, to deliver the sarcastic punchline forming behind your teeth â but then you see his expression.
Not smug. Not even flirtatious. Just wide-eyed, pink-cheeked nervousness. Like he doesnât know what to do with the intimacy of the moment, or how long is too long to hold onto it. Thereâs almost a hint of something resembling anticipation in his face.
Something about that hits you harder than it should.
You pull away first, and he lets you.
You retreat to your side of the car, flexing your fingers like theyâve been stung. âIâm going to pretend that didnât happen.â
âOkay,â he says again, voice thinner now.
You side-eye him. âStop looking at me like that.â
âIâm not looking.â
âYou are absolutely looking.â
He bites down a smile and turns to face the window, ears red to the tips.
You stare straight ahead, jaw clenched, pulse high, the warmth of his palm still lingering on yours.
You donât talk for a while.
â
Sometime after 4am, the world narrows.
The streetâs gone still. The porch lights across the way have blinked off one by one. No movement from the targetâs apartment. The car is dark inside, save for the soft glow of the dashboard display.
Youâre exhausted.
Not in the way that makes you want to sleep, but in the way that makes your limbs ache and your brain buzz. Your bodyâs caught in that weird limbo between fight and collapse, and neither side is winning.
Spencer hasnât said anything in a while.
You donât know if heâs tired or just trying not to make things worse. Heâs curled into his side of the car, one leg tucked beneath him, hand resting near his jaw like he was about to speak and then thought better of it and covered his mouth.
You drift. Not fully asleep â just⊠untethered.
At some point, the air shifts.
You blink awake, groggy, and realize the heaterâs been adjusted. Itâs warmer now, and thereâs something draped across your lap.
Spencerâs coat.
Of course it is.
You glance over. Heâs dozed off, head tilted back, chin angled toward the ceiling. His mouth is parted slightly. His hands are loose in his lap.
He looks younger like this. Not boyish, not innocent â but unguarded. The tension he usually carries in his shoulders is gone. His brow is smooth. The soft rise and fall of his chest is slow and even.
Itâs stupid, how soft you go at the sight.
Worse than stupid, actually â dangerous.
You shift too quickly, trying to face forward again, and your elbow bumps his.
He stirs. Blinks awake.
You straighten like you werenât just cataloging the shape of his mouth. Like you werenât thinking about what his lips might feel like slotted between yours, the dream still lingering in the back of your mind.
He yawns into his fist, voice rough. âSorry. Did I fall asleep?â
âOnly for like⊠fifteen seconds.â
He gives you a look. âReally?â
You shrug. âOkay, maybe longer.â
He runs a hand through his hair, trying to smooth it unsuccessfully. âYou shouldâve woken me.â
You glance at him. âYeah, I considered it. But then I pictured you jerking awake and instinctively quoting Nietzsche or something, so I decided against it.â
He huffs a laugh. Quiet. âNot entirely an unrealistic scenario.â
A long silence settles again, but itâs different this time. Less like fog, more like mist. Lighter and less suffocating.
You close your eyes for a moment. Not to sleep â just to breathe.
And then, Spencer says:
âThis is probably the safest weâve been all week.â
You crack an eye open. âYou think a stakeout is safe?â
He nods, still facing forward. âRelatively. Weâre not chasing anyone. No oneâs actively trying to shoot us. Itâs warm. We have snacks.â
You glance at the sad remnants of the granola bar left in the wrapper on the dash. âQuestionable use of the word âsnack.ââ
He smiles, small and sideways.
Another pause.
Then, soft as a confession: âYou know, I like being around you.â
Your head turns before you can stop it.
Heâs not looking at you â just fiddling with the cuff of his shirt like he didnât just say something borderline catastrophic.
You say nothing.
So he keeps going, gentle and doomed.
âI mean it. Even when youâre doing your whole⊠terrifying thing. Or pretending not to care about anything when you obviously do.â
You narrow your eyes. âI donât obviously do.â
He finally looks at you. âYou obviously do.â
Your stomach flutters â not in a cute way, but in a stop-noticing-him kind of way. In a youâre-letting-him-get-to-you-again kind of way.
You scoff. âYou need sleep.â
âI do,â he agrees. âBut I also mean it.â
You donât respond, because youâre dangerously close to saying something real again, and if you donât reroute, youâre going to regret it.
So you shove his jacket off your lap and hand it back.
âItâs too warm,â you mutter. âYouâre going to lull me into a coma.â
He takes it without argument and folds it over his own lap without looking at you. But you can feel the softness in him anyway â like heâs trying not to break whatever this is.
So you sit there, staring out the windshield, listening to him rambling on about nothing again.
â
By the time the sun starts to rise, your brain feels like itâs turned into jello.
Youâre not sure when the darkness lifted, or when the silence settled back in. You just know the skyâs gone pale â that washed-out blue-gray shade that only happens at dawn.
Spencer stretches beside you. His shoulder cracks loud enough to make both of you wince.
âStill alive?â you ask, voice rough.
âBarely.â He blinks blearily. âMy backâs going to file a workerâs comp complaint.â
You snort. âTell it to get in line.â
Thereâs a long, comfortable pause. He rubs at his eyes. You pull your jacket tighter around you and glance out the window â still nothing at the suspectâs apartment. Still dead quiet.
Which means this whole stakeout was uneventful. Pointless, even. And yet, you still feel like youâve just lived through something.
You tap your fingers against your leg. âSo. We spent all night in a car and accomplished nothing.â
âI wouldnât say nothing,â Spencer says, voice soft. You glance sideways at him, but he doesnât elaborate. Just starts unplugging the surveillance gear and packing up files.
You follow suit. No more banter. No more tension. Just movement.
Your hands feel clumsy.
You tell yourself itâs from lack of sleep. That it has nothing to do with how he said wouldnât say nothing like he was drawing a circle around the very thing youâre pretending not to feel.
You feel it anyway.
But you still pretend.
â
The drive back to the precinct is quiet. You lean your head against the window and watch the neighborhoods blur past.
Spencerâs hands stay at ten and two on the steering wheel. He doesnât speak. But he doesnât feel far away, either.
Thatâs the part you donât know what to do with â that he still feels close. Even in silence. Even in broad daylight.
Like the night didnât end.
Youâre halfway to convincing yourself it was nothing â that itâll fade with caffeine and paperwork and the much-needed distraction of other people â when he signals and turns off the main road suddenly.
You blink. âWhere are we going?â
âCoffee,â he says.
You open your mouth to protest. To say youâre fine, or that you guys donât have time, or that you donât need him doing that thing again â the thoughtful gesture thing â but nothing comes out.
So you just lean back in your seat and let him pull into the gas station without a word.
He parks and gets out without asking what you want.
Because, of course, he already knows.
You stay in the car. Itâs not a conscious decision, really â you just donât follow him inside. The heatâs still running, the vents rattling against the early morning chill, and your eyes sting every time you blink.
Inside the convenience store, Spencer pays at the counter.
You watch him through the smudged windshield. Watch him grab napkins even though you never use them. Watch him put the lid on tight like he always does.
When the driverâs side door opens again, he slides back into his seat with that same soft, sleep-rumpled quiet heâs carried all night.
He doesnât say anything, just hands you the cup.
Itâs warm, and the coffeeâs exactly how you like it â dark and strong and jumbo-sized.
But itâs the sleeve that stops you â a rushed sketch in Spencerâs familiar scrawl. Two outlined hands, not touching â just hovering there on the cardboard. Between them, a tiny speech bubble that reads, âhi!â
You stare at it as he shifts the car into drive, pulls out of the lot like nothingâs happened.
And you sit there â hands wrapped around a paper cup, heart doing something you refuse to name â and let him.
The cup will get tossed.
But the sleeve?
That, youâll keep.
á°.á
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this fic is part of the greenaway!reader universe/series! you can find more fics like it & read more about this pairing here â„ïž
thinking about also hunter reader meeting sam at stanford. bloodied high-tops and the aftermath of killing something evil, the general aftermath of killing. sitting on the pavement and eating a granola bar. there's dirt stains on your arms and new rips in your jeans. a cut in your brow stinging everytime you make a face. then sam who said he wanted 'out' but still picks up nearby hunts when they pop up. still carries a bottle of holy water in his satchel. studies for a quiz on the way back to college on the bus. takes care of his own wounds and does an almost decent job. it won't scar, right? feels so out of place it's making him paranoid sometimes. it's obvious to both of you that you might have something in common. you are loudly reminded stanford is a place for people with showbiz parents and college funds. at first glance sam looks like any freshman with a troubled home life, a family that he will never be seen speaking to on the phone. why is he taking the folklore class? it has nothing to do with his major. after that you notice each other more. sam leaving the library, you just entering. two knives glancing at each other's sharpness.