Constant Quotes

Sarah. 19. going 100 mph (mistakes per hour)

[pyrlspite]

reblog with your weird group chat name in the tags

[gordons-moved]

I don’t have friends

[ladyghostbusters]

[jakeelm]

Me IRL

[cartiercocaine-blog]

wнαт тнe ғυcĸ ιѕ тнιѕ?

[dont-touch-my-fandoms]

Elmo’s voice saying “I’ll fuck u up” is the best and worst thing ever

[blocboybucciarati]

YO I SWEAR THIS SHIT IS TOO FUNNY😭🤣

[lesbianskunkrat]

I WATCH THIS EVERYDAY

[everydaylouie]

ghost choir 👻 🎵

(soundcloud!)

[one-time-i-dreamt]

I played Sharpay in my school’s production of High School Musical (I’m a 6ft tall guy) and I shared the part with this girl who looked nothing like Sharpay either. Instead of having one of us play Sharpay the first night and the other one play it the following night, the first person would run off in the middle of the scene and the other one of us would run on the stage and finish the scene. Also, all the costumes were only in her size.

[itscalledetiquettedarling]

nothing saddened me more than reading what blog this came from

[cheaphalloweencostume]

i hate that post that’s like “what you named your stuffed animal as a kid is a personality test” cause the only notably named “stuffed animal” i had as a kid was one of those wretched baby dolls w hard plastic head feet and hands and a soft fabric body and i kept him fully nude at all times and often hurled him across the room just to hear the plastic THOCK against linoleum and his name was Bigfoot Larry so whatever that says about me i don’t wanna know

[turnon]

we need a nintendogs app i am sick of living like this

[literallyaflame]

when i was a little kid, i didn’t care for movies. my parents always admonished me for sitting too close to the screen or fidgeting too much, so i turned to books instead. when i was four, i tried to watch the first harry potter movie. i absolutely loved it, but it wasn’t enough for me. i had to get my hands on that book. the teachers at pre-school said it was a horrible idea, but i read the first two books anyway.

then came kindergarten. the teachers scolded my parents for letting me bring novels to school. “she can’t possibly understand them,” they said. so they gave me tests on the books. i made perfect scores on all of them. i preferred books to movies and television; movies didn’t do justice to the stories i loved.

so, they marked me down as a “gifted child.” they tested my IQ and everything. i was the perfect student, in their eyes. i sat in the front and listened to the teachers as intently as i could.

one day after school, i ran up to my mother and hugged her. then, i turned my head and saw my mother walking towards me. i looked up at the woman i had hugged. “you’re not my mother,” i said, astutely.

my mother, a clever woman, thought to have my eyesight tested. turns out, i had horrible vision. somewhere around 20/450. functionally blind without glasses. not ideal for anyone, especially a six year old.

all my life until that point, people thought i must be some sort of brilliant prodigy, eschewing television and movies for more intellectual pursuits, but actually i just couldn’t fucking see lol

[fuzzynecromancer]

This took a different direction than I was expecting.

[cheese24k]

Corgi only listens to owner when he talks like The Beatles

> I like how the guy in video talked with other accents to give more proof.

[robinbenway]

I don’t even know where to begin with this!

[pi4nobl4ck]

[anderwelt]

WATCH IT TILL TO END

[robinade]

Man: “I’ve now created the world’s largest functioning whoopie cushion!” *flops on it, creating a long farting sound*

*camera pans to nearby cat, looking deeply unamused*

[astrocyte-deactivated20171202]

people have been illegally dumping their old boats all around abandoned neighborhoods in detroit so this one newscaster on the local news station has been collecting them and finding out who the owners are by looking up the ID numbers on the boats and then she puts them on a flatbed truck and she brings them back to their owners wearing a fucking captain’s hat and she knocks on their doors and goes “hey we found your boat!”

[astrocyte-deactivated20171202]

[rosyish]

Not all heroes wear capes

[sharabp]

Throughly enjoying other restaurants reacting to IHOb

[ruinedchildhood]

[surprisebitch]

what timeline are we in exactly

[iwontallowit]

[baawri]

Britney Spears on Sabrina the Teenage Witch

[skysworn-deactivated20190803]

[pervocracy]

child handling for the childless nurse

My current job has me working with children, which is kind of a weird shock after years in environments where a “young” patient is 40 years old.  Here’s my impressions so far:

Birth - 1 year: Essentially a small cute animal.  Handle accordingly; gently and affectionately, but relying heavily on the caregivers and with no real expectation of cooperation.

Age 1 - 2: Hates you.  Hates you so much.  You can smile, you can coo, you can attempt to soothe; they hate you anyway, because you’re a stranger and you’re scary and you’re touching them.  There’s no winning this so just get it over with as quickly and non-traumatically as possible.

Age 3 - 5: Nervous around medical things, but possible to soothe.  Easily upset, but also easily distracted from the thing that upset them.  Smartphone cartoons and “who wants a sticker?!!?!?” are key management techniques.

Age 6 - 10: Really cool, actually.  I did not realize kids were this cool.  Around this age they tend to be fairly outgoing, and super curious and eager to learn.  Absolutely do not babytalk; instead, flatter them with how grown-up they are, teach them some Fun Gross Medical Facts, and introduce potentially frightening experiences with “hey, you want to see something really cool?”

Age 11 - 14: Extremely variable.  Can be very childish or very mature, or rapidly switch from one mode to the other.  At this point you can almost treat them as an adult, just… a really sensitive and unpredictable adult.  Do not, under any circumstances, offer stickers.  (But they might grab one out of the bin anyway.)

Age 15 - 18: Basically an adult with severely limited life experience.  Treat as an adult who needs a little extra education with their care.  Keep parents out of the room as much as possible, unless the kid wants them there.  At this point you can go ahead and offer stickers again, because they’ll probably think it’s funny.  And they’ll want one.  Deep down, everyone wants a sticker.

[mikkeneko]

This is also a pretty excellent guide to writing  kids of various ages

[foxpost-generator]

Octopuses can fit through any gap larger than their beak.

[therebloggening]

What a beautiful octopus.

[rob-walks-deactivated20210614]