All things considered, and allowing for your tendency toward melodrama, what you have outlined is a rather impressive logical progression based on your superficial observations. It would also explain what I initially took to be an inordinately disproportionate response to a bit of mess.
John, I may, indeed, owe you an apology.
However, I'm going to take your threats of bondage at some future date as the result of lingering emotional fall-out, but if you should actually decide to try something of that nature, at least remember to time how long it takes me to get out of whatever restraints you devise. It should prove interesting, I'm sure.
I have, on several occasions in the past, found things you've hidden, John, and left them where they were. Including medications. In this particular instance, I was unbearably bored and was actually trying to find any cigarette stashes you might have still had in the flat. When I found your cache of medications, it was briefly diverting, but I also knew I had most likely found everything I was going to find. Of course, I started immediately considering ways to relieve the tedium of having absolutely nothing to do! I won't go on about how much of a torment it is for me, because you've heard it many times before, so I need not reiterate yet again.
Given your emotional state, you may not care to believe me, but I did not, in fact, take all of the medications that were there in your little cache. I won't say I wasn't tempted more by some of them than others - I have no doubt that is exactly why you stashed them away in what was, really, a clever spot - however, I only took some of the tranquilisers in an effort to avoid acting on any of the ideas with which I might have entertained myself until your return. I was growing desperate by that point, I will freely admit, and did not anticipate the strength of the effect; I have been very resistant historically.
The rest of the tranquilisers and the pain-killers were in one of my own hiding places; you will now find them in your full med-kit, as I didn't think it wise to leave them lying about.
When I began this particular reply, I intended to answer your own responses regarding medical care entirely differently; however, now I have considered what you've written - both the emotionally-charged exaggerations and the more rational points - and I would rather have you perform any stitching required on my person without anaesthetic than anyone else, no matter what chemical cocktail they might offer. You have, indeed, done so in the past - obviously I survived the experience.
You having made some deal with Mrs. Hudson explains her fluttering about in distress while not, in actuality, doing much of anything. There was a time I might have been surprised, even angry, but I know you better now.
'The Substance' was, as I said, brownie batter. It disturbs me that you seem to prefer clinging to the notion that it might've been something far more distasteful.
I have rested more than I can bear and Mrs. Hudson has checked on me with exactly the sort of regularity which I can now be sure stems from whatever conspiracy the two of you have hatched. You may not realise it, but I have been enormously patient with your tactics, especially once I realised the full extent of them, and, while I resent them viciously, I cannot deny either their effectiveness or the very real fact that I know you well enough to be sure you will carry out your more genuine threats if pressed.
So, as you can plainly see, I have not pressed. I have, in fact, done as you requested. Please, return at once, this is intolerable.
