I didn’t know
“I was new to the party scene. I had never really touched alcohol much before that night.
I didn’t know any better.
I thought about how everyone does this.
They go out and drink, get drunk and act all crazy.
That was a normal thing that college students did right?
I went to a party with friends; my first college party.
And it was a normal party, stuff I had heard about and seen from other people’s social media.
Tons of liquor and crap alcohol around the apartment.
Then a guy approached me
He told me I was cute and I could tell he was trying hard to talk to me.
I wasn’t interested in him though, I was interested in someone else.
He was asking the simple questions while he was pouring me a shot
And I didn’t object to them because this is what people do at parties.
Was I seeing anyone?
Awaiting my response he smiled and poured me another.
He asked about where I was from,
So he poured me another.
And another.
Then things started getting distorted and I reached for some water.
He knew what he was doing though.
He told me I couldn’t have any because that’s now what you’re supposed to do.
I listened.
I maybe had 7-8 shots of ever clear.
After a while, things really started getting foggy.
I remember bits and pieces.
It was like I was watching from the inside of my body but I couldn’t control it.
Things just happened.
He dragged me out of the party and took me to his room.
Everything was blurry, I remember here and there.
Then black.
Darkness and then I heard a sound.
I was lying on my back and I heard the condom wrapper being torn.
I remember asking where I was before I blacked out again.
The next time I woke, it was morning where I felt him beside me.
I was terrified, I didn’t understand how people did this.
Throughout my time in high school, I had always been in relationships.
One night stands were not something that I did.
And here I was naked, lying next to a stranger.
This was normal though right?
People get drunk and wake up next to some stranger they don’t remember going home with?
I tried to leave immediately but he woke and made small talk.
He asked me about my tattoo and said he hadn’t noticed it last night.
I put on my clothes and walked out the door when he insisted on walking me to my dorm room.
What was I supposed to do? He was just trying to be nice.
Once we got to my room he kissed me goodbye and said we should do it again sometime.”
