completely mediocre

all of my thoughts, feelings, and emotions that scare me the most. (please give credit if you use...lots of love xx)

[contrastingsoul]

hope you’re all well and healthy during this quarantine xx

[contrastingsoul]

The sweet sun rays falling on every inch of my skin makes me feel more alive than any human every could.

[contrastingsoul]

catching feelings? you mean, the pit of despair?

[contrastingsoul]

if i crave anything, it's human contact. purely skin on skin. that is the most beautiful thing we can off each other.

[contrastingsoul]

i care so much for people who wouldn’t lift a finger for me.

[contrastingsoul]

sad days, somber nights. the dark rain cloud over my head never lifting, never shifting. just being.

[contrastingsoul]

my entire soul wants nothing more than to lay in a field of flowers, letting the sun kiss my skin, and the roses caress my hands.

Mother Nature has so much to offer

[contrastingsoul]

you cannot change what you refuse to confront.

my therapist

[contrastingsoul]

People don’t realize you can be in an abusive relationships with friends, too.

wish I would've known it sooner

[contrastingsoul]

I'm trying so damn hard but sadness keeps filling up my heart, my lungs, my soul. No matter how many hours I spend swallowing vodka, or screaming in my pillow, the pain never fucking stops.

[contrastingsoul]

Having depression can feel like you’re drowning, but you have a choice. You can let the water fill up your lungs or, you can learn how to swim

a quote from my college essay

[contrastingsoul]

all I wanna do is sleep & after that sleep some more.

[contrastingsoul]

your tears will turn into smiles one day, I promise you that.

sadness doesn't last forever

[contrastingsoul]

But, the truth is you care more about my education than my mental health. As if I could concentrate on my academics while my mind is telling me to die.

a letter to my parents

[contrastingsoul]

and oh, I can’t tell you how many damn nights I’ve stayed up crying over what could’ve been. how many nights I cried because your eyes and your soul were so damn beautiful like you were made from the stars and I was just something so insignificant that I could never compare.

[contrastingsoul]

you stare into my eyes, I stare into your soul. you can see my heart, I see yours is made of gold.

[contrastingsoul]

I sometimes wonder if I was ever meant to feel happiness. no matter how many pills I shove down my throat, or how many nights I stay up purging sadness out of my soul, I still have the ever so heavy sadness weighing on my shoulders.