Stars & Sorrow

Catholic, 30s, Female, Mom, Wife, Latin Mass, Pro-life, previous ectopic.

[converted-mountain-mama]

Something to note if someone is happening to follow this tumblr from way back:

Yes, I used to use this blog for chronicling emotional posts and other stuff about dating and sex and other things in order to feel like I was writing some sort of informed and sage-like story about the life that feminism said I should want. That I would choose many partners, that I would encourage and lift up every secular thing as if it was its own gospel and that was "clearly the truth" as if it was some countercultural thing I had to fight for, that it was my right and the only way to happiness was to stumble through bedsheets until someone decided to stay.

Honestly that "glamorous" life of freedom broke me. I have found God, or rather He called to me, demanded I return home, and is still asking me to clean up my act. I'm now married, and have a baby. Everything made sense, continues to make sense, and yet is somehow so hard to explain to people.

Anyway, my point is that if you see conflicting posts on this tumblr in the past from what i'm currently posting, it is because its probably there for posterity, or I forgot to delete or private it.

Please be kind. Deo Gratias.

[saint-augustines-pears]

doomerism is sooooo lame btw you should look at a sunset and really contemplate it bro isn’t it astonishing that there is so much beauty in the world?? Evil is so easy and good is so hard but every single night there is a sunset did you ever even think about that

[saint-augustines-pears]

you get to live in a world where you get to reap fruits from works you didn’t sow. You are moved by a beautiful book you didn’t write. You are moved by stars you didn’t put in the sky. You are moved by a wedding you only attended and did not participate in all of these good things are there for you to see and delight in

And you’re called to participate in that there is literally no greater way it could be

[greater-than-the-sword]

Reacting to a recent Messyges by Blimeycow because I found myself actually having a rare disagreement with Jordan, which surprised me:

Is it normal and okay to demand that a boyfriend move out of his parent's house before you will marry him, or is this controlling and should you accept him as he is?

what do you think

It's an acceptable demand - I'm a man

It's weird and controlling - I'm a man

It's an acceptable demand - I'm a woman

It's weird and controlling - I'm a woman

Nuance/ bald (in tags)

Voting ended onMay 24

[greater-than-the-sword]

Clarifications: "with roommates" counts and is fine. This is not about where the two of you live after the wedding, but about him having the life experience before marriage of having lived elsewhere than with his parents.

[greater-than-the-sword]

This is just me giving my opinion at this point but if he can't afford to take care of himself financially then how is he gonna take care of both himself and a wife financially ? I guess extenuating circumstances apply but like come on.

[yossdillo]

See I see it a different way, I'm one of the people who voted "nuance" (since bald doesn't apply) but I really think it depends on the relationship between him and his parents. I mean most relationships do have parents taking care of their child but there is a chance that he could be the one who's been supporting the house for years and does have experience with taking care of both himself and someone else financially. I understand that's not as common, but there is a chance that's the case, or that he was taking care of himself financially but had to move back in due to factors beyond his control.

Whether he continues to live with his parents as a married man with his wife is a completely different conversation though.

[greater-than-the-sword]

Yeah, taking care of them is a different cup of tea. Also, having lived away from them at any point definitely counts.

[converted-mountain-mama]

Nuance, I said. I depends on the guy. If he's living with his parents cause he's being pampered and allowed to spend frivolously and such, then it is an issue.

HOWEVER.

My personal arrangement sounded weird. My husband bought a house but stayed renting a room with his buddy. For 6 months *I* lived in the house and it was my job to get used to the home and its appliances and to decorate it. Basically readying it for him. So then we get married and he moves into a decently put-together home. It was really nice for us.

Equally interesting was a friend of ours who stayed with his parents until he got his masters degree (at 23, so not slacking). Got the good job, moved in with some guy friends for a short bit and saved as much as possible. Then he and his gf got married and they've got enough in this economy to have a house built. So the maturity and foresight of these guys is really important.

So like if the goal is to be out together after marriage, yes nuance.

If there is some expectation that you're just moving into his house with his mom and stuff... Idk, its at least not my culture and seems like a red flag to me. Several women tend to not do well under the same roof if there's power dynamics like "mother-in-law" and "wife" and such. I wouldn't, and I would feel disrespected as the potential wife. I can be treated like a child at my own mother's home if I want, I don't need to play headgames in a whole new family setting.

So I would say, "I can wait until you're ready to consider my life in this as well." Men cleave to your wife and all that.

[converted-mountain-mama]

I keep thinking about writing and drawing and comics and video games and how they were such a GOAL for me before having my kids. I still feel this call to do something grand and great with all the ideas in my head and the skills in my silly little hands but I am wrestling with what that means in context of my vocation.

My trained/secular thinking says "your life is on hold til your kids are grown enough." Except that isn't true because I am still here in every moment living and being. Also what a terrible waste? Thinking that I can't exist. BUT I do understand that I have much greater duties and loves than my creative whimsies, and if I am neglectful of my children in pursuit of those whimsies, I will be failing my vocation. (And side thought about phone addiction and its role here but I digress...)

While it can be true I am permitted and perhaps owed some personal time, it is scarce because not only do I have children aged 5, 4, 2, and not quite 1, but I am also homeschooling in the fall. (We did do a practice run for Jr Kindergarten and I learned a lot about myself and what I need to stay structured, and the kids got good exposure to numbers and letters, to the point where my 5yo can often beat her father at playing Splendor now. Highly recommend board games as supplements to home education.)

So I have housewife duties, (cleaning, cooking, etc), mother duties, (love, education, building character), and don't forget the effort it actually takes to maintain a marriage! So I begin to get this sense that my hobbies and creative pursuits are things I need to set to the side, and in some sense thats true, but not necessarily to the point of abandon... The problem is that I get well and truly depressed if I can't do them for too long.

What is the balance here? As the children get older I know this sort of thing gets "easier", people say. But school will also ramp up. This fall I have Kindergarten AND Jr K curriculums to teach. in 1 more year it will be 1st Grade, Kindergarten, and Jr K (birthdays are weird). and then in 3 more years (thank you for the break, my son it'll be 4 grade levels, and that assumes its not Gods plan to provide us with another child by then.

I'm rambling.

Okay so, instead of allowing myself to panic, how do I balance this? Any tips? Getting up early or staying up late are a bit off the table because of infant sleep/wake schedule and general exhaustion.

[sacredheart-stigmata]

Believing wholeheartedly in God and Jesus and prophets and miracles while also being a schizophrenic is... exhausting

[sacredheart-stigmata]

The researchers, the psych ward nurses, the therapists, and the concerned friends all stress the impossibility of Revelation and Elijah, of saints and angels, of Gemma Galgani or Catherine of Siena.

The reporters write of hidden monsters who slaughter pregnant mothers and little girls because 'Jesus told them to', and the true-crime fans speculate in comments with mocking, gleeful concern on what mental deficiency that psycho must have had.

You must acknowledge every schizophrenic and bipolar and epileptic abused at the hands of exorcists before you speak. You must explain that yes, you "know" your thoughts on saintly callings are false before you can join the conversation, because madmen must still be sane to be allowed to speak. You must take the meds to be allowed to go to church, lest stained-glass and communion wine trigger banned thoughts. You must go to therapy to be allowed to go to Adoration, lest the present Lord drive you back to 'dangerous places'. You must have a meeting with your support team before you are allowed to even think a prayer.

Stupid schizo, don't you know that only us sane folks get to love God? Don't you know our love of Jesus is warm and safe, while yours tastes like sedative drugs and hospital food?

God bless us, the beloved sane, and God damn you, the schizophrenic, whose belief is a danger to the public!

[sacredheart-stigmata]

i know this post is incredibly rambley and such, but everyone, especially Christians who don't experience psychosis, are welcome to reblog

[faithshaped]

"Nor did demons crucify him; it is you who have crucified him and crucify him still, when you delight in your vices and sins."

—Saint Francis of Assisi

[converted-mountain-mama]

hey actually... what is the heresy of Americanism? Cause my modern brain says "if you like or support america at all as a catholic, this is heresy" and then I get to think about like, people throughout history fighting for their countries and such and I get the feeling that my gut reaction to that term is just brainrot descended. So...

What IS the heresy of Americanism and how does it differ from American Patriotism? Are we seeing it anywhere?

[manda-kat]

Reasons why Christians should not use generative AI to make 'art':

We were made in the image of a creative God and it disrespects Him for us to claim the title as creators if all we do is prompt an AI

Thou Shalt Not Steal (generative AI is theft)

Laziness and sloth goes against Christian values. Using generative AI instead of creating art in your own way is pure laziness.

God has encouraged us to make music and worship Him. He did NOT command us to outsource our worship to unfeeling generators.

The point of art is not the result, but the act of creation. AI 'art' is created in vain for no reason.

Thou Shalt Not Bear False Witness. If you generate or share images of real people, you are lying about them.

We are to be stewards of the earth. Generative AI is a pointless thing that is causing harm to our environment, which makes use of it irresponsible. A good steward would not waste resources on AI.

Feel free to add more reasons for Christians to ditch generative AI. There is nothing it could possibly add to the world to make it worth using.

[mysticmagdalene-deactivated2023]

Oh? You're unlovable and God will never forgive you? Wrong. DIVINE MERCY ATTACK ❤️🤍💙❤️🤍💙❤️🤍💙❤️🤍💙❤️🤍💙❤️🤍💙❤️🤍💙❤️🤍💙❤️🤍💙❤️🤍💙❤️🤍💙❤️🤍💙❤️🤍💙❤️🤍💙❤️🤍💙❤️🤍💙❤️🤍💙❤️🤍💙❤️🤍💙❤️🤍💙❤️🤍💙❤️🤍💙❤️🤍💙❤️🤍💙❤️🤍💙❤️🤍💙❤️🤍💙❤️🤍💙❤️🤍💙❤️🤍💙❤️🤍💙❤️🤍💙❤️🤍💙

[converted-mountain-mama]

Please pray for a friend I am upset with. Also for my family. And for all the people I am needlessly critical of. And please do pray for me, if you can spare the time and love.

[shaftking]

Can everyone just be totally honest and admit that for the same reason men often get radicalized rightward, trans people get radicalized leftward. The right, broadly speaking, is incredibly hostile to trans people similarly to how the left, broadly speaking, is incredibly hostile to men.

[shaftking]

Any ideology that posits that we just have to kill all the right people to be on the path to utopia is an automatic failure.

[irishironclad]

What no one seems to acknowledge amongst all this age verification stuff is that its very much that case no one under the age of maybe 16 should be on the Internet. Like at all. Certainly not unrestricted and without supervision.

[converted-mountain-mama]

its not even going to stop the parents that dont care. "just use my account", etc.

[jkottke]

The Color Game. “Humans can’t reliably recall colors. This is a simple game to see how good (or bad) you are at it. We’ll show you five colors, then you’ll try and recreate them.” I scored 39/50 but got a perfect score on one color.

[iwilleatyourenglish]

[soychronicprocrastinator]

[lady-merian]

[converted-mountain-mama]

felt good about this

[orthodoxadventure]

Death to the World, No. 6

[tuxankhamun]

i feel like there is a bit of room for confusion here 🤔

[converted-mountain-mama]

Incorrect dubbing on old wrestling: Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson pulling his signature look "The People's Nipple." The network apologizes profusely.

[hagennn]

let’s pray under water