e x a c e r b a t e

just an 19 y/o nb kid who needed a place to talk until their brain was numb. i post some pretty negative stuff on here sometimes.

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Reading past posts. I’ve been depressed for a long time but it took some time to realize it.

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april 19th, 2016

Keep reading

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july 22nd, 2016

i have almost attempted suicide again, checked myself into the hospital, got and lost a job, dropped full IB, began drinking and partying, and reconnected with several friends, while also breaking up with Emma. 

[cooked-octopus]

november 27th, 2016

Got laid off, checked myself into the hospital again (this time for a week), reduced 4 medications to 1, withdrew from the semester, and I have a new girlfriend named Miranda.

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June 16th, 2017

Back to school, came out as trans nonbinary, (changed my name to Bodhi, pronouns they/he) Miranda broke up w me, I have a babysitting job, I'm on 2 antidepressants and I started Ritalin today.

[cooked-octopus]

Reading past posts. I’ve been depressed for a long time but it took some time to realize it.

[cooked-octopus]

april 19th, 2016

Keep reading

[cooked-octopus]

july 22nd, 2016

i have almost attempted suicide again, checked myself into the hospital, got and lost a job, dropped full IB, began drinking and partying, and reconnected with several friends, while also breaking up with Emma. 

[cooked-octopus]

november 27th, 2016

Got laid off, checked myself into the hospital again (this time for a week), reduced 4 medications to 1, withdrew from the semester, and I have a new girlfriend named Miranda.

[cooked-octopus]

Reading past posts. I’ve been depressed for a long time but it took some time to realize it.

[cooked-octopus]

april 19th, 2016

Keep reading

[cooked-octopus]

july 22nd, 2016

i have almost attempted suicide again, checked myself into the hospital, got and lost a job, dropped full IB, began drinking and partying, and reconnected with several friends, while also breaking up with Emma. 

[cooked-octopus]

[cooked-octopus]

Reading past posts. I’ve been depressed for a long time but it took some time to realize it.

[cooked-octopus]

april 19th, 2016

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i finally realized i was depressed at the beginning of January because the thoughts of death were much more forward and evasive.

i finally saw the doctor and started prozac two days later on February 3rd.

march 28th, 2016 i quite literally almost tried to attempt (but purposely not succeed) suicide because of the upcoming practice biology exam. (I also started smoking weed the 19th of march but i think thats irrelevant)

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may 21st, 2016 (today) I read even farther back this time, and wow. i feel so achingly sorry for myself - my younger self - because i didn’t get help earlier. i am so fucking deep now and i am having so much trouble getting out and i just wish i could have realized sooner.

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january - february 2016 diagnosed self multiple times with DSM-5 online. related profusely to things like van gogh’s blue period, “migraine” - twenty one pilots, etc,

october 26th - november 29th 2015 first signs of wishing pain, unconsciousness, death, etc. post first counsellor visit

september 25th, 2015 went to see my family doctor about my uncontrollable anger, recommended to a counsellor and would book an appointment for october 26th things just got increasingly worse from here. 

the first week of november 2014 this fucking far back. THIS far back. i have so much pain in my heart. 

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back to today. (may 21st 2016) I almost had to make a decision to drop the academic program I am in, I have reached easter monday-caliber suicidal episodes several times since the first one, and i do not think the prozac is working anymore. leaving for arts camp in the morning. i dont know what  to do. im doin okay rn tho!!

[eliasericson]

second hand pride

[adidasgymbag]

[dania88]

[itsbyrosie]

[dangdfeng]

[stability]

[thewillowandfox]

[teengrief]

[itscolossal]

Three-Dozen Floral Designers Transform a Condemned Detroit Duplex with 36,000 Flowers

[cooked-octopus]

I've been smoking for a month and I'm already a professional at smoking when my parents are home. Jesus.

[cooked-octopus]

Reading past posts. I’ve been depressed for a long time but it took some time to realize it.

[cooked-octopus]

Draws