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@cookiehook
how dull for you to live your life without any hills to die on, you, on your vast flat barren plains of compromise, acceptance, and accommodation, while I reign supreme over the lush, rolling highlands of stupid shit I have irrationally chosen to stake my entire identity on
….as someone who was terrified of having their own opinion, this is truly inspiring
the hills are alive with all the fucks i give on select topics
@shitpostsampler ??
Biggest fucking mood.
They’re also meant for hiltops, not small rooms. Cant get the right reverb with all that echo.
they’re also meant to make you fight the english. don’t forget that part.
My fav bagpipe player was a dude who would go out to the middle of a soccer field near my college apartment on Sunday. No one was using the field and he’d just be out there playing his heart out and the sound were just spread out over the plains. I’d be working on art for class so I’d open the window and listen. I still have fond memories of the day a kid biked up to the edge of the field, ran over to the bagpiper and the music stopped for a moment and as they talked. I couldn’t hear it but I had assumed the worst, that someone had decided to tell him to stop playing. Instead after the pause the musician seemed to nod, readjusted his bagpipes and started belting out the Star Wars theme.
Holyshit that is the most interesting thing I’ve heard in awhile
Holy shit yes
Has anyone tagged @glumshoe yet?
I love bagpipes. When I was a child I wanted to grow up to play them professionally. I learned that they are an effective assault weapon when I was trapped in a rowboat with an old man playing Scotland the Brave two feet from me while I paddled him out to the boat.
When laundry powder manufacturers want clothes to appear “whiter than white” they add a trace of blue dye. When hair dye manufacturers want hair to appear blacker than black they add a trace of blue dye. Blue is both a white intensifier and a black intensifier.
Which is actually a pretty good art tip
Very few things in nature are blue or blue-tinted.
Traces of yellow (opposite of blue) turns whites to off-whites and blacks to browns, (both colors quite common in our natural world).
So our brains interpret blue-tinted colors as “whiter than nature” and “blacker than nature”.
I guess this also explains why I feel like I’ve crossed halway into an alien dimension whenever there’s an ultraviolet light turned on
No, that’s just a bug with UV lights, you really do bounce between dimensions sometimes. I’ve been meaning to fix it, sorry about that one.
In the dog world, humans are elves that routinely live to be 500+ years old.
“They live so long…but the good ones still bond with us for our entire lives.”
“These immortals are so kind we must be good friends to them”
My heart wtf
Not gonna lie, this fucked me up a bit.
POV Fantasy slice of life book when?
“Now I am old. The fur around my muzzle is grey and my joints ache when we walk together. Yet she remains unchanged, her hair still glossy, her skin still fresh, her step still sprightly. Time doesn’t touch her and yet I love her still.”
“For generations, he has guarded over my family. Since the days of my great-great-great-great-great-grandfather he has kept us safe. For so long we thought him immortal. But now I see differently, for just as my fur grows gray and my joints grow stiff, so too do his. He did not take in my children, but gave them away to his. I will be the last that he cares for. My only hope is that I am able to last until his final moments. The death of one of his kind is so rare. The ending of a life so long is such a tragedy. He has seen so much, he knows so much. I know he takes comfort in my presence. I only wish that I will be able to give him this comfort until the end.”
turning up at a party with your cool friend
‘s’alright cat. You’re just as cool as your hoppity friend.
A dating service where matching is based on people’s search history exists. You’re a serial killer. You go on a date with a writer.
Serial Killer: metaphorically, if you were to kill someone, how would you do it?
Writer: Air shot between the toes, it’ll look like a heart attack.
Serial Killer who is obviously in love already: *sucks in a breath* ok
Writer: how long would it take to die if you were to potentially stab someone in the guts
Serial killer: anywhere from 2 to 30 minutes
Writer, already bringing a ring out: *shaking* thanks
A++ addition
Writer: *shows the serial killer the murder scene they’re writing* babe, i’m not sure if this would actually work?
Serial killer: *kisses writer on the forehead and leaves, comes back later, a suspicious scent of blood coming off them* it works baby, you’re doing great
I LOVE THIS
Oh no, murder comedy is my jam
I love this, I love all of this, but quick question, does the author know? Like are they aware that their significant other is a serial killer or do they just think that they have a morbid sense of humor? It’d be even funnier if the author had no fucking clue, like how Aurthur Conan Doyle was apparently stupidly gullible, and on top of it they’re a horror or crime novelist. Like the serial killer works at a butcher shop or something so it’s completely normal for them to come home smelling like blood, no murders going on here, no sirey. Just my darling coming back home from a long day at work.
Now fast forward a bit and the author has managed to get their first book published, with loving support from the serial killer who helped them fine tune all the murder scenes, and it’s a big hit. Enough so that a detective with the local police department has noticed some disturbing similarities to several active cases, including details that were never released to the press. Obviously he brings this up to his superior and convinces him that there’s something to the theory, but it’s all circumstantial right now. He stakes out the author’s home and is super convinced that the author is the murderer, but they don’t seem to do anything??? Like they literally are at the house all day, that’s it. Most they do is leave for groceries.
So you get this dynamic of the serial killer mining the author for creative murder schemes, the author being lovingly encouraged by the serial killer, and finally the detective who is just so sure that the author is the killer and that if he sticks it out long enough he’ll FINALLY have proof.
Plot twist, The serial killer and detective use to go out so it gets sub what personal.
“You need to stop seeing them. I think they are a serial killer.”
Serial killer breaths in. “Look-”
I would watch the hell out of the televised version of this, IF:
Nathan Fillion plays the writer
And the serial killer
Thoughts on Anti-Depressants
People will call anti-depressants a crutch, that you're not coping with your depression yourself. They're right.
Think for a minute though, at how silly this logic would be when applied to anything else. Pretend you want to become a competitive power lifter. You have no weightlifting experience, no training, but this is now your life goal.
The minimum weight category in this hypothetical is a 200kg deadlift. You go to the gym, rack up 200kg and try to lift. What do you think is going to happen? You're not lifting that weight, not even close. You can go back tomorrow, and the day after, ad nauseum. You're never going to budge that weight.
To train weights like that is ludicrous. You'd start a smaller weight, maybe 20kg. You work, you get training, and you can just about shift it. With time and coaching you'll start tackling bigger weights. Your technique will let you shift more and more, until you're at that glorious 200kg.
My depression was my 200kg barbell. I could never shift it on my own. Trust me I tried, but it never budged... My anti-depressants lifted some of that weight, to the point where I could just about stand. Therapists were my trainers, GPs my dieticians.
After 6 months of training I was stronger. I could move my 20kg. So we started reducing my meds; increasing my weights so to speak. Just like our hypothetical power lifter, I took more of the weight directly on my shoulders, and kept lifting.
One day, I took the full 200kg, right on my shoulders. No more meds, no more therapists. Of course, I fell over on day 2. This isn't a Rocky montage, shit happens. The following weeks gave me more success than failures, until I was beating all the lifting day in, day out.
So next time someone comes at me saying anti-depressants are a crutch, I'm throwing them their 200kg barbell, and keeping them the fuck away from anyone who's training to lift their own.
I did not kill that gnome, he walked into that axe of his own volition!
Our neutral evil barbarian (via yourplayersaidwhat)
He walked into my Axe. He walked into my Axe ten times...
Do you ever listen to a song just for that one part
galviron:
this…is advanced brittish….
*weeping* finally… a reason to be proud of this damn country
Depression Tips
Kill the gods and eat their flesh to rise above human chemicals into horrifying immortality
Sounds more feasible than “just think positive!”
On UK Politics, or, “The Absolute Shambles”
Christ, it’s been a week, hasn’t it?
I say that, but I know I have a lot of followers in the US and elsewhere, so…not everyone might know about exactly what’s been going on in the UK recently. So I thought I’d take a bit of time to cover everything that’s happened to lead us up to where we are now - and where exactly that is.
I’m not going to provide references to anything I say in this because there’s a LOT, but if you want references for anything I say, please feel free to send me an Ask or reblog this and I’ll find you references for whatever you’re interested in.
Cheat sheet:
‘Tories’ = The Conservative Party. Basically the Republicans. One of the two biggest parties.
‘Lib Dems’ = Liberal Democrat Party. Centrist, slightly left
‘Labour’ = Labour Party. Left-wing. One of the two biggest parties.
‘New Labour’ = A movement that happened in the Labour Party in the late ‘90s that created ten years of Labour government and saw them pushing from the Left towards…basically slightly-less-right-wing than the Conservatives. It was shitty.
‘UKIP’ = UK Independence Party. Far Right Assholes, want to leave the European Union.
‘SNP’ = Scottish Nationalist Party. Slightly left-wing from what I understand but I’m not overly familiar with Scottish politics. Mainly want independence from the UK.
‘DUP’ = Democratic Unionist Party. Far-right hyper-religious party in Northern Ireland.
‘Sinn Fein’ = Sinn Fein. In a deadlock with the DUP the Northern Irish Assembly which is the core of the Good Friday Agreement - letting UK Parliament govern them while the two parties remain deadlocked. Have a Thing about never taking their seats in UK Parliament.
Putting all the rest of this under a read more because…things are gonna get long. It’s a fuckin’ ride.
Keep reading
This is what the word “Clusterfuck” was invented for.
#WWGotYourBack
Important Research
@gunshotsandshags @dudewheresmyapple - I told ya someone had done it!
Nothing makes me happier than knowing the little girls in our generation get to grow up with Wonder Woman as their superhero, Rey as their lead Star Wars protagonist, Princess Leia a General and the Ghostbusters are now all female.
Whoa.
I read this out loud to boyfriend and he just went “ohhhhhhhhh”
That’s fucking brilliant.
Blue shell the 1%
Blue shell the 1%
Anyone else terrified that they are toxic and manipulative and just can’t see it? Or is that just me?
